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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Hoping for a solution soon-just needed to vent

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 6:57 AM
  • 13 Replies

I know my son's dx is not that bad. But, it still feels like it consumes everything. He is an Aspie with some sensory issues that honestly interrupt regular functioning. You wouldn't think that getting wet or loud noises would really cause getting out the door a challenge. But toothpaste on his shirt causes a real problem for him.


I am a single mom, who right now is working full-time and still trying to finish my degree. If I can manage to pass this semester, I will complete my BS in Geology and minor in Biology. But I have to graduate school if I ever hope to get a job or make decent money, which is 2 more yrs of school. I am thankful my kids have tricare so, that pays for almost all of Liam's therapy. I know, a lot of you would be so grateful for that and probably feel I have no right to complain. Right now, my job is an hour away. On bad days it's an hour and a half. My son still sees a psychologist once a week and then he sees a psychiatrist every other month. Plus he has just started an ABA school full-time, where he will also be evaluated for OT and ST. I also have a 7 yr old dd who is struggling with her reading. Liam just got his dx in January and he has been a constant focus for about 9 mos. I am doing the best I can but it's just not enough.


I am also fortunate that I get child support from their father and his GI Bill. But the truth is, I'm barely managing things now. I can't imagine trying to complete my graduate degree in science while working full-time, with all these doctor's appts and another little one who needs more from me. I don't know why I'm writing this and I know people have bigger problems then mine. I just hope that I can find a way to stop working while I finish my degree. I don't know how I can keep doing this with any level of success for the next 2 and a half years. I guess I just needed to vent. Please no bashing, I know things aren't that bad for us. This is just hard for me right now all alone. Thanks for reading.

by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 6:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
JTMOM422
by Brenda on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:59 AM
1 mom liked this

Sounds like you are kept pretty busy. It's a lot to go through with a child with ASD adding the care of another child, working and school it would be a lot of stress on anyone. Doing all that by yourself can be overwhelming. Have you checked into respite? Tricare and EFMP will pay for someone to give you a break. Someone will come and sit with your son so you can go out and shop or go for a walk or anything you feel like doing. 

Ty so much for the info on the ABA school. Talked with my sons ABA tutor and she was excited knowing tricare pays for it. They have been talking about opening one here for some time but thought no ones insurance would cover it. Now they are excited about hearing tricare does. They are doing more research now to check what would need to be done to get one opened. YAY!!!

MommaHubbard
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:38 AM
Thank you, I may try to find-out more about respite care. I'm so glad my info about Tricare ABA coverage was helpful! Hopefully, I can just get an additional student loan or funding of some kind for school in the fall so I won't have to work full time.


Quoting JTMOM422:

Sounds like you are kept pretty busy. It's a lot to go through with a child with ASD adding the care of another child, working and school it would be a lot of stress on anyone. Doing all that by yourself can be overwhelming. Have you checked into respite? Tricare and EFMP will pay for someone to give you a break. Someone will come and sit with your son so you can go out and shop or go for a walk or anything you feel like doing. 

Ty so much for the info on the ABA school. Talked with my sons ABA tutor and she was excited knowing tricare pays for it. They have been talking about opening one here for some time but thought no ones insurance would cover it. Now they are excited about hearing tricare does. They are doing more research now to check what would need to be done to get one opened. YAY!!!


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MommaHubbard
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:38 AM
Thank you, I may try to find-out more about respite care. I'm so glad my info about Tricare ABA coverage was helpful! Hopefully, I can just get an additional student loan or funding of some kind for school in the fall so I won't have to work full time.


Quoting JTMOM422:

Sounds like you are kept pretty busy. It's a lot to go through with a child with ASD adding the care of another child, working and school it would be a lot of stress on anyone. Doing all that by yourself can be overwhelming. Have you checked into respite? Tricare and EFMP will pay for someone to give you a break. Someone will come and sit with your son so you can go out and shop or go for a walk or anything you feel like doing. 

Ty so much for the info on the ABA school. Talked with my sons ABA tutor and she was excited knowing tricare pays for it. They have been talking about opening one here for some time but thought no ones insurance would cover it. Now they are excited about hearing tricare does. They are doing more research now to check what would need to be done to get one opened. YAY!!!


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TeapotHot
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:56 AM

I think it's awesome you are working on your degree and want to continue with your education. In the long run it will pay off. Can the children's father help you out with appointments? You obviously have alot on your plate and can understand how difficult it is for you! You need some help............just like we all do at different times.

VioletsMomTown
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:58 AM
4 moms liked this

I don't know who would bash you, you have a lot going on and you're doing the best you can. You can't be everywhere or do everything, you are not perfect though you may be considered a super hero! You have got this. Don't worry so much, it sounds like things are in place. You have a tough couple of years ahead, but then you will be self sufficient and have a good career, and that is going to benefit your family so much. It doesn't hurt to take a moment to yourself to breathe, find a good babysitter or family member and take a day off.

MommaHubbard
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:15 PM
Thank you for all your encouragement. However, I am all alone with no family in this state. Ex is still active duty military and also out-of-state.
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mommy4lyf
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:37 PM

You will be just fine. When you get tired, stressed out and all... just hug your kids because they are the reason why you are striving to reach your goal. You are one strong mother, you have that traits in your kids. Be strong and don't give up.

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Feb. 5, 2013 at 2:38 PM

Big hugs mama!  Lots of great advice here:)

SandyLaxner
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:01 PM
1 mom liked this

Be kind to yourself-you do have a lot on your plate.  I'm a SAHM w/one boy,5,ASD,and a very supportive husband and I feel like I am losing my mind sometimes.  So,hats off to ya!  It sounds like something might have to go,ideally you don't want it to,but work or school plus kiddos would be enough for anyone.  There is only so much of you to go around.

JCKitten87
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:08 PM
1 mom liked this
One day at a time..I'm sure u hear that all the time so I hope it don't irritate you. Have you posted in the autism across the spectrum support group on here? I'm sure many of those ladies may have some advice to help you. They are great over there with understanding and I swear what you are going through is not petty compared to others!! My daughter doesn't have a dx yet but she has a lot of delays and is in special education preschool and I have found so much comfort from the other moms who have struggles like me. And congrats on school. Try to look at how far u have came since you began! Not what is left :) you sound amazing to me!!
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