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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

ever feel like you suck at paRenting?

Posted by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:27 PM
  • 25 Replies

ANYONe else ever wonder if you are doing a bad job or is it just me? i worry that i yell too much.. that im just sucking at this!

by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
dawncs
by Dawn on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:36 PM
2 moms liked this

It is not always your parenting is the problem you are having right now. Having a child on the Autism Spectrum is very difficult in helping them on so many different levels. Some have found 1... 2... 3... Magic work on handling troublesome behavior. You might want to talk to your local service provider and see if you can get some respite services for your child which can give you a break for a couple hours a week. Working with your child's teachers and therapists can help reinforce what they have learned through his Special Education services (http://www.wrightslaw.com/). You have done a good first step in joining this group. For local resources, I recommend joining your local chapter of the Autism Society (http://www.autism-society.org/), Autism Speaks (http://www.autimspeaks.org/), and Easter Seals (http://www.easterseals.org/). For activities, I recommend getting involved with Special Olympics (http://www.specialolympics.org/), TheARC (http://www.thearc.org/), and Variety Club (http://www.usvariety.org/).

Dawn
Beautifully Talanted Autistic Social Story Author
Diagnosed Asperger Syndrome as an adult
Diagnosed Edema (since young)
Author Page: http://www.toyboxunlimited.com/ (has discounts)

iamadramamomma
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:39 PM
I feel the exact same way I don't feel lime I'm doing a good job or doing the right thins with my kids.....its so upsetting.
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kajira
by Emma on Feb. 7, 2013 at 2:26 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes, I sometimes sound meaner than I want, but a lot of times he ignores me unless I raise my voice or sound firm. 

It doesn't make me feel like the worlds best parent when I have to sound mean to him to get results, but it's what he responds too in the middle of freaking out. If you try to baby him, he escelates.

I know it wouldn't work for me, which is why I feel bad doing it to him, but long-term results are better than me feeling bad for a few minutes because I have to adapt my parenting to suit my child.


Macphee
by Bronze Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 2:28 PM

Hugs

I know exactly how you feel. I stop and think, why am I so mean. The truth is, you are responding to a behavior you are trying to change.

You are actually a very loving mom who would rather teach her kids right from wrong than win ms. popularity contest.

My son told me once, mommy i need a beat stick for when I'm being bad. Then he asked me, what do you do when I'm in trouble. I tell him that I'm sad too. He's like, what a waste. I'd rather that you're proud of me and we have fun together. He's almost 5. Neurotypical. My older son, 6 year old, PDD-nos he loves the yelling. Ignoring works better. Then he learns.

 

JTMOM422
by Brenda on Feb. 7, 2013 at 5:16 PM
1 mom liked this

 that is me in a nutshell. I feel like I yell too much too. There are times when I will just put a movie on for the kiddos so they leave me alone lol. I try not to give too much tv but here lately I have given it to them

Bobsie
by Bronze Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 6:00 PM
I feel that way too. But we can only do our best and continue to strive every day to be a better parent.
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TheJerseyGirl
by Michele on Feb. 7, 2013 at 6:07 PM
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All I know is I'm doing my best most days and what I think is right. There are some days I'm mentally drained and don't want to move off the couch but I think we all have those days. Please tell me you all have those days. Lol
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Charizma77
by Carissa on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:09 PM

I have had plenty of those moments since becoming a mom but mainly after my son was first dx. I was really hard on myself and stressed out. It wasn't good for me or my family. Try not to be so hard on yourself, I bet you're doing better than you think. Hugs!

KatyTylersMom
by Silver Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:46 PM
1 mom liked this

Exactly this.  My daughter needs firm and clearly defined consequences.  My son needs reassurance and a hug along w/ his redirection... that makes me feel like the biggest double standard parent EVER. 


Quoting kajira:

Yes, I sometimes sound meaner than I want, but a lot of times he ignores me unless I raise my voice or sound firm. 

It doesn't make me feel like the worlds best parent when I have to sound mean to him to get results, but it's what he responds too in the middle of freaking out. If you try to baby him, he escelates.

I know it wouldn't work for me, which is why I feel bad doing it to him, but long-term results are better than me feeling bad for a few minutes because I have to adapt my parenting to suit my child.




darbyakeep45
by Darby on Feb. 8, 2013 at 5:56 AM

We aren't perfect...no one is mama!  Give yourself a break!  I have those days where I feel like I can't do anything right...it's hard!  Hugs!

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