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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Real bad day...

Posted by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:18 PM
  • 11 Replies

Today was one of the worst in a while and I know I didn't handel it well......My 6 yr old was on focalin xr now we switched him to vyvance and it's not the meltdowns but the attitude was just horrible he really gave me a rut n for my money this time....defiant....ignored me...whined all day talked back to me.  This went on all freakn day that I yelled at him not just once but a few times....I feel horrible I just don't know how to handel this anymore.....it's I mean he seems to be getting worse....I feel like a bad mother...I love him so much but sometimes I feel like giving up....how horrible does that sound....I had to lock myself in the bathroom for a few minutes to calm down...what can I do...how can I be a calmer mother when this happenes? I just feel horrible what I did. Any suggestions?

by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
blessedhappymom
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 1:09 AM
I've locked myself in the bathroom before too...plenty of times :-). I know that feeling of defeat, but I'm reminded that every moment is a moment to start fresh.
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darbyakeep45
by Darby on Feb. 11, 2013 at 5:49 AM
1 mom liked this

Locking yourself in the bathroom is perfectly fine:)  Sometimes we need a mommy time out!  We need to catch our breath, collect our thoughts, and regroup to start again with our children, especially when they are trying our patience.  It's okay  mama...I promise!  You are NOT a bad mother...we all have those moments, some more than others:)  Hugs and don't be so hard on yourself!

VioletsMomTown
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 12:36 PM

Psychiatric drugs do funny things to kids, maybe you could consider going a more natural route? Less side effects. I'm not blaming you at all for trying it, but isn't the idea that he feel better, not worse? The drugs don't seem to be working. That's not your fault, you are still being a good mom.

Bobsie
by Bronze Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 12:42 PM
I know the feeling. You are not a bad mother for thinking it. I also have locked myself in the bathroom to cry and regroup. Vent to someone you trust in your support network of family and friends and try again. Hang in there.
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iamadramamomma
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:11 PM

I see him getting worse and worse everyday now.....It's hurts so much inside.....he did better on the focalin xr than the vyvance...I really saw it last night when it was time for his shower first he ignored me then played like he was sleeping...I had to drag him by his arm finally he got in and he flapped he is hands the whole time and kept rocking back and fourth in the shower I cried (not in front of him) then when he came out I dried him off and he sang and flapped again...acted like nothing happened.....it's so hard I am pretty much doing this alone...my husband lives with us but he is never around all he does is yell. I have  a 5 yr old who is not showing signs of adhd as well. Do you know where there are support groups to go to and talk?

takeitall13
by Bronze Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:14 PM

 we find ourselves yelling at our 2 year old a lot too, and it doesn't help which makes it all the more frustrating... SIGH.  I've gone in the garage just to yell and let off some steam while hes in his room- don't feel bad about extracting yourself from the situation for a few minutes, we're no good to them if we're overwhelmed too.  When did you switch his meds?  I know a few of them take a while to get into their system and actually work... I'd call the dr if its been over a week though and ask about it :/  ::hugs::  Stay strong, you're not a horrible mother <3

TheJerseyGirl
by Michele on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:15 PM
1 mom liked this
The bathroom! Omg I would sit on a tub full of ice cubes instead of having to deal with the stress that some days bring! Don't you ever feel like a bad mother! ALL mothers of ALL children have their days where it just gets to be too much and need their one time or they'll burst!

Nobody knows what we deal with except all the moms in this group!
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takeitall13
by Bronze Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:17 PM

 agree.  my brother had severe adhd as a child and acted out SO bad that my mom finally "gave up" and they dumped the meds together and after that he started to do MUCH better, she even found him age related hobbies- at the time was building race tracks, carving in wood, he had a psycholgist he did the wood carving with--- hockey..  he was about 12ish?  so maybe try to cut the meds and find some alternative ways to help him channel all the extra energy and to calm himself ??  :(  Good luck <3 <3

Quoting VioletsMomTown:

Psychiatric drugs do funny things to kids, maybe you could consider going a more natural route? Less side effects. I'm not blaming you at all for trying it, but isn't the idea that he feel better, not worse? The drugs don't seem to be working. That's not your fault, you are still being a good mom.

 

iamadramamomma
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:20 PM

I know but I feel like I am at a loss sometimes.....I feel helpless....and fed up all at the same time...and with no help from my husband it just makes it so much harder.....I just home me younger one dosen't have it bc and I know this is gonna sound horrible I don't think I will be able to go through it. I will have to but it's just so damn hard

JTMOM422
by Brenda on Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:27 PM

I know what you mean. Had one of those days myself. Ds was whiney all morning and nothing would make him happy. He didn't eat at all. Then around noon I found out why he was acting that way. He had a loose bm. and 4 more the rest of the day. Guess he had a stomach bug. I had to call my sister I was in such a mood today. It seemed like I could do nothing right for him and I felt horrible. But after being able to vent and finding out the cause of the problem I felt better knowing it wasn't me. I think we just have our days.

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