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Does having a child with autism, make people second guess you or think you are not a good parent?

Posted by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:34 AM
  • 38 Replies

Being a Mother of an autistic child, did you ever feel people think you are not a good parent?

In the past always had an issue with a school staff person and an in-law <now ex-in laws>

 Some People with non-autistic children always had an opinion of me, when I know in my situation,,<one child with autsim, one with diabetes, and another one who had a speech delay>i did a great job.


by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:34 AM
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by Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:50 AM

yes sometimes i can feel it happening which sucks but if you spend a day with me you know i am a good mommy 

by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:57 AM
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I don't think so, I think its the opposite. Then again, I don't really care what they think.

by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 10:37 AM
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People on the outside looking in who dont know the situation piss me off! My son has aspergers and had a meltdown at my doc office waiting room, those of you who have asperger kids know there is nothing you can do once the meltdown starts, you make sure they dont hurt themselves or someone else other than that you let it happen. Well this women gets a big attitude with me telling me she cant believe im allowing my son to act that way he needs to be smacked, i told her he has autism (most people dont know aspergers ) she didnt care she sat there and started talking to others saying how bad my son was and how i just sat there and how horrible that is and she cant believe it. We were there for 2hrs i was actually proud of him for lasting that long! He was crying screaming hitting me, it was a meltdown. But on the other hand i had a women at church approach me and she said i see you with your son and you are such a good mom, i see how patient you are and caring and loving to him i just had to tell you! This woman doesnt know me didnt know he had aspergers and she saw us have to go in the hallway bc of a meltdown many times and she still had that opinion :) that made me feel good in knowing the loving approach is better than the harsh rules way!!!!
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by Bronze Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 10:53 AM

Well my boyfriend mom thinks I suck cause if we would let her have him he would be talking and potty trained. Yes she knows he has autism.  And my ex mom ya we don't talk any more. She thinks 24/7 therapy work with him and he will be fine.  She got mad when he putting juice in his hair. So she like he getting worse and we not getting him the help he needs. He only did for a week. They don't understand it takes time.

by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:39 AM
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Friends and family? No, I have nothing but support. We have 3 typical children that are older and they are amazing people, students, athletes... Makes it harder to judge us as somehow bad parents to Vaughn. Strangers have pissed me off any times, asking that I remove him from the dentists waiting room, commented about how I should discipline him, the thing I hear most often is "he sure must keep you busy"... Um, you have no idea. I only see my dad and his wife about once a year, they are older, and I often get comments about how I sure must have my hands full, etc... We were on a vacation in August, eating breakfast at a restaurant on the beach. My son started to have a freak out, we tried everything we could to calm him, get his eye contact, redirection him and I ended up having to bear hug him and take him to the restroom. When I walked back by some old woman made a snide comment like she thought I had spanked him in the bathroom or something? It was a good thing it took me a minute to process what she had said because I probably would have ripped her head off.  

by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:51 AM
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All the time from on lookers and a few family members.  But my neighbors and friends all know the difference now and tell me what a wonderful caring polite son I have.  Although most days I'd like to carry a whooping switch with me.  Kids are mean and bully enough I really don't thing parents of special need kids need to be bullied too.  I get so tired of trying to explain non-visual disabilities to the ignorant and just plain stupid.

by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:55 AM
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I have a lot of guilt.....I only have my son with pdd, I never planned on having another baby because of fearing that the next child would have asd.  I have guilt with that also because my son seems to show me signs of having another child.

Sometimes I feel that I would be able to handle it now because I'm older.  I had him when I was 22.  

I think a dog would be better smile mini

My son's teacher and my husband, my parents tell me I'm doing a good job.  I always feel that I can do a better job as a mother

by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 2:29 PM
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When he was a baby, my mom made me feel like that. "He should be sitting up" or "he should be doing this". Once he was diagnosed at 2 that changed, she tells me at least once a week that I'm a good mom. I've seen people look at me when we're in public. It doesn't bother me a lot, especially when I see NT kids who are just obnoxious and running around and yelling. My son behaves better than they do.

by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 2:35 PM
Not so far! I ve always been praised on my patenting with all my kids... Especially my way with Dillon. He's my sweetheart so it's always been easy to do!
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by Emma on Feb. 11, 2013 at 2:42 PM
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Yes, I've had family/friends think I was a bad parent because not only am I an autistic mother, but my son is diagnosed with autism and now schizophrenia/mood disorder issues. So just because of my being "different" myself, by default, I have to work twice as hard as an average parent to prove that I'm doing a good job. It's automatically assumed I will fail or do things wrong or can't handle things.
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