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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Does having a child with autism, make people second guess you or think you are not a good parent?

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Being a Mother of an autistic child, did you ever feel people think you are not a good parent?

In the past always had an issue with a school staff person and an in-law <now ex-in laws>

 Some People with non-autistic children always had an opinion of me, when I know in my situation,,<one child with autsim, one with diabetes, and another one who had a speech delay>i did a great job.

 

by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:34 AM
Replies (11-20):
Paperfishies
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 3:12 PM
2 moms liked this

Yes.  You should see some of the looks I get when i give my 2 year old her Ipad in a restaurant.  LOL...I don't care, people are assholes and can eat a bag of dicks, they don't know me.

BKozICan
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 3:14 PM

Most think I am a more awesome mom than I think I am. Like saying, "I don't think I could do it." Of course they could--what is the choice?

MomtoLou
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:13 PM
1 mom liked this

My worse critizier (I know I'm a bad speller) anyway is my own mother. You would think that her being a specialist in aspergers and working with teenage boys with the struggles everyday she would be a supper of my parenting. But nope. I'm not giving them enough therapies, I'm not fighting hard enough for them in school, I'm not telling everyone their diagnosises fast enough, I'm giving into them to much. It makes me want to scream. The looks from outsiders at restaurants and stores and anywhere don't bother me. Yeah I'm being judged, but strangers can kiss my pale white behind. I don't care what they think of me being more odd then my children to save my kids from the odd looks. I don't care if they think my kids having headphones on with an iPod in their pockets just for a grocery store trip is excessive. They can judge all they want, I am going to do what is good for my kids no matter what anyone else thinks is right or wrong.

ms.bardes
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:44 PM
1 mom liked this
People that don't know would just think you have an out of control kid u let run wild or don't dicipline enough because they sre normal in appearance but if they were to pay attention they would know something was a little off.....some people judge before they think...not smart
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AsperMom826
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:36 PM

I don't think people second-guess me or think I'm a bad parent, but I I think if there is any criticism about my parenting of my now 15-year-old son with Asperger's is that through the years we have coddled him too much and are now paying the price.  We have always felt "guilty" about putting him in uncomfortable situations and have allowed him to remain in his comfort zone way too much.  If I can give any advice to those who have younger children with Asperger's, it is to reach out, don't be afraid to put your child in uncomfortable situations.  Our son did very well in tai kwon do when he was 4 years old, even winning a few medals at some tournaments, but when they switched studios it caused him some anxiety, and rather than talk it through and using ABA techniques (which at the time I was not familiar with), we pulled him out because we didn't want to "torment" him.  In hindsight, I realize that is exactly what he needed.  To summarize, I have many friends with non-autistic children and all have been very supportive and say, "You can't blame yourself; you only do what you think is right at the time."  I feel that if he had remained in tai kwon do we would have had a much different son right now.  One that was more confident, not as socially awkward, and one not suffering from anxiety at the thought of encountering an uncomfortable situation.  In addition, I do feel foolish and often wonder what people think when my son will refuse to eat certain foods and we have to "cater" to what he wants because he has aversions to many different foods.  It does make you wonder....."did I make a mistake by not forcing my son when he was younger to eat vegetables and different foods (even when he would 'regurgitate' the items or cry like he was in pain if he were forced to eat them?).  On a good note, I have to say that with all of his issues our son is basically a very happy and exuberant kid, and very loving, and we wouldn't trade him for anything!  I'm just hoping I can ride the wave of sanity as we make our way through this very difficult time, and beyond that, who knows what the future holds? 

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Feb. 12, 2013 at 5:19 AM

Not really to be honest...but then, I honestly don't care what other people think in regards to my parenting.  I just don't like when people make fun of my son.  Say what you want about my parenting but don't insult my son!

Eve-marie
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 7:10 AM

A new neighbor has been asking around about if somebody is being abused. She should ask me to my face. Then again maybe she better not.

Basherte
by Silver Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 7:17 AM

I sometimes feel it, but think that is more on me than on them trying to make me feel like a bad parent. 

Everyone who knows me and knows my son tells me that I am doing a great job with him, and that I have an amazing son.



wedding countdown

2and2onway
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 7:19 AM

Yes especially when my 120lb 13 yr old autistic son melts down in public. It does not happen often, but when it does I get all sorts of stares and snickers and can hear people say "if he was mine his ass would be beat" etc.

ms.bardes
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 7:51 AM
Mine is five and we gets looks and he must keep you busy comments all the time.....haven't got any really rude comments yet id probably lose it lol....people can be very rude and then they feel like an ass when you tell them
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