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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

What else can I do???

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 7:20 AM
  • 9 Replies
My 5yr old son does great at school according to his teacher. At home he seems easily frustrated, hits, and has meltdowns constantly! I don't understand. I know at school it's the same routine all the time and maybe that's what it is. It's definitely complicated keeping a perfectly smooth routine for him. I know I can make a few charts to reinforce positive behavior and other things but I'm kinda at a loss. I really could use some ideas on how to make our home peaceful again and what I can do to make transitioning into different activities easier. Thank you!
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by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 7:20 AM
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Replies (1-9):
dawncs
by Dawn on Feb. 13, 2013 at 8:44 AM

Has anything recently changed at school for him?Have you tried talking to his teacher to see what is happening at school? Has he any friends at all? Is he being bullied at school? Has he adjusted to the school routines and scheduling? These are some of the things you need to take into consideration. Does he have an IEP to work with someone who is certified and licensed to work in Special Education (http://www.wrightslaw.com/)? I would talk to them also to see what is happening. I recommend reading http://www.autism-society.org/, http://www.autismspeaks.org/, and http://www.aspergersyndrome.org/. I recommend joining a local support group through http://www.easterseals.org/ besides coming here. You can find activities for him to do through Special Olympics (http://www.specialolympics.org/), Variety Club (http://www.usvariety.org/), and TheARC (http://www.thearc.org/).

Dawn
Beautifully Talanted Asperger Syndrome Writer
Diagnosed Asperger Syndrome as an adult
Diagnosed Edema (since young)
Author Page: http://www.toyboxunlimited.com/

momw3bys1grl
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 9:20 AM
For us,they let loose at home too.I think because theyve worked all day at controlling and maintaining themselves at school they have to get it out by the time they come home.Do you have a weighted blanket blanket or vest?That can help.My kids have a minitrampoline,a blow up ball with a handle to bounce around the house,and i let them pile pillows and cushions to jump and play with.This helps get those sensory needs met.
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mypbandj
by Jen on Feb. 13, 2013 at 9:29 AM
2 moms liked this
Kids feel more comfortable at home to meltdown (it also often gets them what they want).

I'd start to closely look at his behavior and try to figure out the motivation behind it. So what happens before and after he melts down. That's going to show you the function for the behavior.

Many times its for attention. And whatever you pay attention to, you get more of! ;)

So try not to engage in his behavior, I wouldn't fight, argue, beg, plead, make idle threats, or even talk about it. Have a consequence and follow through. Pick one thing to work on, talk about the behavior before it happens, tell him what you want him to do (not what you don't want), practice and follow through.

Here's an example I'm just making up cause you didn't give any examples. Lets say he freaks out because his baby sister keeps taking his Legos, throws a fit and screams in her face.

One day, when everyone is happy. Bring it up. How does it make you feel when your sister gets your Legos? That makes you angry. If she takes your Legos you can use your words and say 'I don't like it when you take my Legos.' In a inside voice. Lets practice and pretend I'm your sister and you can tell me. (The reason you tell him what to do, instead of what NOT to do, is because you are giving him skills. We often assume children already know or have these skills but they need to be taught and they need to practice it a lot).

After practice, tell him, IF you use your mean (loud, angry, etc) voice, then you will have to go to your room.

Then, when it happens, of he does it right, praise him! If he doesn't, calmly tell him what he did and what his consequence is. But limit the conversation to just that. Don't go on and on. (No attention)
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HisWifey2006
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:35 AM
Wow all of your replies were very helpful! I had a conference with his teacher and there was nothing that she's observed that was going on. I like the idea to use the weighted blanket. I will be trying all of your suggestions thank you! And to elaborate on his meltdowns, they range from being about having to get in/out if bed, getting in/out of the tub, to meltdowns about putting on clothes and all sorts of small things like wanting to sit in a shopping cart. It's just always something. You name it.
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busymommy98
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 4:41 PM

Right there with ya. My 10-yr-old DS melts down at least once a week. It seems to be a release for him. He works so hard to hold it together at school that by the time he gets home where he is most comfortable, he is just about ready to bust. I put him in his room, give him his favorite blanket, turn on his favorite music and let him self-calm. Try the visual boards showing him simple chores he must do. My DS gets stars for every chore he does and for every good day he has. He works for time with grandma overnight and other things he chooses to work for. He really likes being at my brother-in-law's house so that is a huge incentive. Find what he likes best and let him work for it. It gives him that needed structure and at the same time allows him to see his progress and/or failings. There are still meltdowns but they are less severe now. His new meds help too. One day at a time...

TheJerseyGirl
by Michele on Feb. 13, 2013 at 9:05 PM
Dillon LOVES coming home from school and has his own sort of routine here. I stay home so I try my best to make it something he looks forward to and can relax.

On days his home routine is disrupted, I notice a big change in him as far as getting frustrated. He wants to put on his comfy clothes, watch tv, go online, bake cookies and bounce on his yoga ball!

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jthompson1976
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:32 AM

my daugther always come home says she had bad day at school..  you ask why work  she 9 already dont want to go school.... this year better then last year i do have to say that

johnns
by Johnna on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:21 AM
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I thought maybe you had been at my house! Lol, the tub, the store, the clothes! VERY typical day around here with my Sally. You made me smile, just for the fact I'm not the only one having trouble with the ' little' things! Hang in there mama!
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HisWifey2006
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:52 AM
Thank you!


Quoting johnns:

I thought maybe you had been at my house! Lol, the tub, the store, the clothes! VERY typical day around here with my Sally. You made me smile, just for the fact I'm not the only one having trouble with the ' little' things! Hang in there mama!

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