My son has autism. I want to scream it from the top of a mountain
I have no family where I live and no one to take my daughter for a couple of hours so we can go to therapy together when my husband is at work. She goes everywhere with us and my son doesn't want her around. He yells "Nooooo, noooo" and pushes her away. She makes a sound and he screams as load as he can. He really is a very sweet boy, but his meltdowns make my ears ring and make my eyes blind.
I'm so proud of him for being so strong and having to go through this world with all of his struggles. He does quite well. "The magician" wrote that he is "mild to moderate" and my son is learning very quickly, when he is interested. I never imagined that I would have to work so hard to have my child interested in me. We have wonderful moments, but most of the day I am chasing him around with my sweet baby girl in my arms trying to entice him to play with me.
He is very physical and loves physical activities. They are a great way of connecting with him, but I just can't do it all day long. My body aches, my brain aches and I am so tired and scared. Somehow, I can still find strength to keep doing it all day after day, but some days I yell and scream and squeeze his hand too hard and I feel like an absolutely horrible parent. I don't get to parent the way that I always thought that I would and it is hard to surrender to the fact that this is my life. It is so dreadfully hard sometimes, but so beautifully real and whole other times. Sometimes I think I forget that he is my precious baby boy and not my enemy. Autism is the enemy or what I am trying to realize is that autism is just a way of life.
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a couple of hours so my son and I can go to therapy together when my husband is at work.