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Is your asd child being bullied at school?

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 8:05 AM
  • 16 Replies

As you know, one of the reasons I moved my son back to his old school was because of the kids bullying him and that causing him to become more aggressive. Well, we're finding out from other kids on the bus who he knows and older sibs hang out with their older sibs, saying that the bus driver has been telling him "why did you come back, you're so aggravating" and "shut up and go to the back of the bus". Now I know he hates the other kids making noise nd will scream at them to be quiet sometimes, but that's no reason for her to speak to him that way. We've been telling him that he should tell us when someone treats him mean, but he says he forgot, each time. Trying to figure out to pick him up in the afternoon, too, since I take him in the A.M.. Haven't got any notes from the teacher. Gonna check with her this week to see how things have been in class. We didn't put him in spec.ed casuse he's so smart, but if the trouble is only on the bus then spec.ed wouldn't matter. what do you think about all of this?

by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 8:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
darbyakeep45
by Darby on Mar. 4, 2013 at 8:27 AM

Big hugs mama!  My son is only 4 and goes to a special needs preschool for medically fragile children.  We haven't dealt with bullying, but my heart goes out to you!

mypbandj
by Jen on Mar. 4, 2013 at 9:40 AM
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To be honest with it. It f**king pisses me off!! 

Put a recorder in his backpack and get that on tape! Or, if you just want to skip that part and not submit him to that ABUSE any longer, I would send a letter to the school principal, every single member of the school board (you can find their emails on the webiste) and the transportation directer. 

Tell them, you son is being verbally and emotionally abused by his bus driver and that is unacceptable.

Tell them that you will be waiting to hear back about what their plan will be to fix the situation. 

Does he have an IEP? If he does, I would tell them that you can no longer send him on that bus and subject him to abuse - therefore, until this issue is fixed, your son is not able to access the free education he is entitled. 

And if they refuse to do something (I bet they WILL fix it for you though) then I would call the child abuse hotline - DFS or whatever it's called out there - and make a report. 

AspieAuntie
by Risa on Mar. 4, 2013 at 12:09 PM

To answer your question: yes, my aspie is being bullied at school. He has earned a reputation for himself as a liar (I think he lies in order to try and impress the other kids and fit in) and not a team player. The other kids tease him for being weird, over weight, you name it. I'm keeping in close contact with his teacher and the school counselor but they can't be with him 24/7. We are considering switching schools to give him a fresh start.

Now, as for your problem, I find it horrifying that the bus driver, a supposedly responsible adult that is responsible for your child's safety, is the one bullying him. That is completely unacceptable and I agree with mypbandj, you need to report her. She has no right to tell your child that he's aggravating. You're right, that is bullying and it needs to stop. My heart goes out to you and your son. I hope things work out for you!

MomtoLou
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 4:55 PM
1 mom liked this

My daughter was bullied in her first school pretty badly, but I wasn't aware of it because other issues re the biggest problem and that's what I was focusing on. Once I found out about the bullying, I did switch my daughter schools. It gave her. Afresh start, it gave me a chance to really get the principle and teachers on board. It was the best thing I have ever done for her in regards to school. 

My daughter can't tolerate loud noises. And she will yell louder then everyone else telling them all to shut up, or be quiet. Yeah I know she does this, her teachers know she will do this. It's just something she really can't handle, unless its her making the noise. (That part I don't get but it's perfectly understandable in her eyes)

i would get in touch with the actual bus driver as well s the principle and the supervisor over the bus driver. Cll them on her crap. If she can't drive the bus and maintain safety for all kids on her bus as well as tat the children with the respect they deserve, she needs a new route. If that means she drives the preschool bus with 4 other aids and doesn't have to interact with any child then so be it. If it means she no longer drives the bus then fine. Unless she can behave she can't be in a position to be in charge of children. Period. There is never a reason or excuse good enough for an adult to treat a child that way. I don't care what the child is doing, the verbal and emit all abuse of it isn't alright.

good luck.

takeitall13
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 6:54 PM
1 mom liked this

 THIS, very ANGRY about whats going on to your son!  TERRIBLE.  My husband installs GPS units on school busses, he says theres cameras on all the busses, demand they watch the feed.  and use a recorder too, this is offensive and WRONG that its being done to your child or ANY child, if you choose a profession you know what comes with it.. being a school bus driver means you have crazy, loud kids in your seats, its just how it is- to treat any kid like this that driver should be fired and have to publically appoligise.  Threaten to involve the authorities and newspapers, this will get any school acting.  Sounds awful but I'd do it for my kid just to get that a-hole fired.

him to that ABUSE any longer, I would send a letter to the school principal, every single member of the school board (you can find their emails on the webiste) and the transportation directer. 

Tell them, you son is being verbally and emotionally abused by his bus driver and that is unacceptable.

Tell them that you will be waiting to hear back about what their plan will be to fix the situation. 

Does he have an IEP? If he does, I would tell them that you can no longer send him on that bus and subject him to abuse - therefore, until this issue is fixed, your son is not able to access the free education he is entitled. 

And if they refuse to do something (I bet they WILL fix it for you though) then I would call the child abuse hotline - DFS or whatever it's called out there - and make a report. 

 

she-ra2000
by Deborah on Mar. 5, 2013 at 7:56 AM
1 mom liked this

Thanks everyone for your input. I said I was going to see if it happens again, and I have to get him off the bus today, so I'll have a chance to see her. I sent his teacher an email and she said that I should report it, since he  hasn't mentioned it to her.She also told me that he's doing good in her class too :)  And yes, it does come with the territory of driving a school bus, so she has the wrong job!!!

JTMOM422
by Brenda on Mar. 5, 2013 at 10:01 AM
2 moms liked this

I would contact the bus driver's boss. And let the boss know what is happening. If other kids are hearing this then the bus driver is obviously loud about it. I would recommend talking to the other kids parents and asking if it would be ok if their child agreed to tell what they heard the bus driver say. Hugs momma

she-ra2000
by Deborah on Mar. 5, 2013 at 10:11 AM

Thanks JTMOM422! I'm going to speak to the driver this afternoon, and call the transportation dept. too. 2 of the kids live right across the street and are friends of my kids, so I'm sure they would speak up if needed.It's just so frustrating....

JTMOM422
by Brenda on Mar. 5, 2013 at 10:28 AM

 I am glad to hear you are going to speak to the bus driver and call transportation too. I wish you the best with this. Keep us updated

Quoting she-ra2000:

Thanks JTMOM422! I'm going to speak to the driver this afternoon, and call the transportation dept. too. 2 of the kids live right across the street and are friends of my kids, so I'm sure they would speak up if needed.It's just so frustrating....

 

yergie1985
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 1:58 PM

Not bullied by students but last year his teacher was caught hitting him. During the investigation she admitted to "swatting" him (and that it wasn't the first time). She was suspended immediately after the witness reported it and they had us come in to the school and meet with the principle and special education director (and psychologist). It took a few months but she was eventually given the option to retire or be fired and lose her pension. I didn't want it to come to that, I'm sure that in years past she was a good teacher but what she did was wrong. We would never have known (Riley didn't speak at the time) if the witness hadn't reported it. This year his class has a teacher and two aides. And he has totally changed! He likes school (he used to get hysterical) and does most of his work. He's only five so I'm not sweating him not finishing all of his work :)

You should definitely report the bus driver. Her job is to protect the children in her care, not verbally abuse them. Notify the parents of the other children who witnessed it, since they will have to give a statement to the school and possibly the police depending on your district (our district called the police and childrens services to notify them of the situation). Then make a call to your school and ask for an urgent appointment with the principle/Assistant pr. Have a statement from your children and your concerns and request in writing. Tell them what is going on and give them the statement. Document the date and the conversation (or record it). Inform them that you are also going to be sending the statement to the school board and director of special education (even if he's not in the program the director should still be able to assist you since your son has a diagnosis. They will have a copy of the special needs bill of rights for your state and help you with your action against the driver.). Also give them a list of the witnesses and their contact info. Ask for a definite follow up date and request that THEY provide alternate transportation until the situation is resolved. There are companies contracted through the districts that specialize in transporting individual children who cannot ride the bus for one reason or another. Usually it's just a van/car with a driver and 1-4 kids. It's THEIR resonsibilty to provide adequate SAFE transportation according to a child's needs. 

(I hope this didn't come across too aggressive. It just touches a nerve for me)

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