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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

attempting to deal with diagnosis

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:03 PM
  • 18 Replies
1 mom liked this
Hi ladies! Ive posted a few times and I always get great advice and support so here i go....my beautiful son ryan is 2yr. Ive known since he was 6mo something was different. Loooooong story short ryan was diagnosed 3-4wks ago with autism (aspergers). His dr said official diagnosis is autism since the title asperger or pdd-nos are not being used starting in may. So any ways. Everyone knows now. My family and my inlaws. Im getting a lot of yeah we knew something was off or hes def "quirky". To be honest no one says anything that im ok with. Ryans diagnosis seems to be the topic of everyones convo. Its just always in my face and some questions i dont yet have the amswers to. Im still coming to grips with its not in my head the drs agree and see what i deal with. Some days or moments im accepting of his diagnosis and then bam I get sad or angry or both. Im still trying to learn and research aspergers to learn how ryan thinks and feels. Hes very aggressive and hyper. Hes sooo repititive that I have moments of wanting to scream. He has behaviorial therpay which helps. I just dont know when does this feeling go away. The feeling of being ok and then bam im sad or angry. I find myself talking to myself. Like seriously get over it move forward! Do what needs to be done!. Suck it up!. Hes a beautiful healthy baby boy I have a lot to be grateful for and here I am sad. I read other women posts and I think wow you are all soo strong and here I am. Sorry if this post pisses anyone off. I must sound ungrateful and stupid but this is how Im feeling. Thanks to any advice or support.
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by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ozzyswifey
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:35 PM
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I was upset and sad it's hard but u will be fine my son was diagnosed when he was 3 now he will be 8 in November there days I wanna cry I feel guilty thinking it was my fault here are alot of different emotions just hang in there ma. If you ever need to chat just hit me up

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:43 PM
2 moms liked this

Almost everybody goes through those stages mom.

I know, that I have had his "official" dx for about a yr and i still get moments like that.

But time heals. And it gives perspective. And for me, God helps me see things differently. Either Him directly -- I'll get an "aha, wow, enlightened" moment or he puts people in my path that helps me see things in a different and hopeful way.

 

Hugs mom. It gets better :)

LaurieMomof4
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:50 PM
1 mom liked this

My son was diagnosed, also with Autism (Aspergers), about a month ago. Believe me I am in the same boat. I feel great about our prognosis, and then I don't and I'm just so sad about it. I think it's totally normal. Hang in there mama.

VioletsMomTown
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 3:06 PM

All I can say is give it time, it gets easier

Violet's Mom

Twitter @autismnotebook

KatyTylersMom
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 3:15 PM
1 mom liked this

I think all of us have been there.  It's been a year and a half since my son was diagnosed at 19 months and still there will be something that triggers the "IT'S NOT FAIR" thoughts in my head to start having a field day.  I also find it hard to answer family's questions (my personal favorite is "he'll grow out of it right?" - yeah, thanks for reading ANYTHING about Autism, idiot). 

They're looking to YOU for reassurance that this kid that they love so much will be ok, while at the same time you are desperately wondering that same thing.  It doesn't feel fair to have to reassure others when you so desperately want that reassurance yourself.  And yet it can be worse when they (unthinkingly) say things like "oh I'm sure he'll be just fine" OH REALLY ARE YOU??? BECAUSE I'M NOT WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE???  Mostly it gets much better with time, therapy, and watching your kid thrive with the proper approaches in behavioral therapies and school.  But sometimes you'll just break down and cry or want to smack a relative.  We get it and we're here for you:)

charley31
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 8:17 PM
Thank you all! I appreciate all support and advice. Makes me feel better im not alone with my feelings. Im so happy and grateful to have found this group.
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t1gger143
by Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 8:20 PM
It has only been a month since the primary dx and I finally cried a week ago. It wasn't like I didn't know, it still felt like a ton of bricks landed on us.
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kajira
by Emma on Mar. 18, 2013 at 8:32 PM
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I don't fully relate to what you are saying when it comes to being autistic as a diagnoses - because *I'm* also autistic.

Now, when my son got other diagnoses on top of being autistic, I DID feel that way... and I know it's not easy. Just let yourself feel whatever you need to feel, it's okay.

Autism didn't bug me in the least, that I at least understood.


But, when he got diagnosed with a mood disorder and psychotic disorder (think schizo-personality type) I had a lot to cope with emotionally, especially because it changed the ball game on how I dealt with almost everything in our life. Autism, I understood, but the other I couldn't relate too, didn't understand and I had to figure out what I was dealing with and cope that there weren't many answers from specialists or otherwise.

I had a few friends who were adults who had issues like my son did and I spent alot of time tlaking to them about their childrehood and things that helped them... and where they are at now in their life... trying to find some hope for the future and answers on how to help my son with out making him feel bad about his disabilities.

All you can do is remember ot love them. You're going to make mistakes, but make them with good intentions and stop to listen to your children's input when you make decisions about *their* future. It's their life - and they should have a say in it... don't forget to include them. 

At 2 - they are pretty young, so it's going to be a while before you get to that stage... but, think of it as a long thing - where do you want them to be in 5 years... ten years. Plan for a future and work towards goals. Don't get lost in "today" - Today will turn into tomorrow, tommorrow will turn into next week and before you know it, a few years have gone by.

It gets easier. each and every day, and things will make progress and move forward.

charley31
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 8:34 PM
I feel the same exact way. I knew going into his appt but I guess I was still hoping to hear diff. And I felt like someone punched me in my stomach and I couldn't breathe. Its only been a month for me too. I feel over whelmed to say the least.


Quoting t1gger143:

It has only been a month since the primary dx and I finally cried a week ago. It wasn't like I didn't know, it still felt like a ton of bricks landed on us.

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Charizma77
by Carissa on Mar. 18, 2013 at 8:34 PM
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Ashton is 8 and was dx 5 years ago! I was in the same place as you when he was first dx. It was years of ups and downs. We are in a good place now, Ashton is thriving and we have all adjusted.. But trust me, the me 5 years ago was in an entirely different place. Hang in there. One of the things that helped me during the hard times was Cafemom! We're here for ya, girl!

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