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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

How do you handle the "looks"

Posted by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 8:54 PM
  • 36 Replies

I have such a hard time ignoring the looks from people when we are out with Asher. The other night we were at my 10 year old sons boy scout meeting, and Asher was running around growling at people. The looks we were getting...it made me so mad and sad and..all kinds of things. I wish I had a shirt or something that said "He is autistic and doing the best he can..so relax!" How do you approach this?

by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 8:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Cubanmom84
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 8:59 PM
Mmm I roll my eyes at them and smh lol I have had always had that kind of attitude with people, if you don't know my life, if you don't walk in my shoes, you don't suffer my sadness and daily worries, then you don't get the right to look at me like that, so I do the same now, I don't let it affect me. I have never really worried about what people think and am not gonna worry now.
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mypbandj
by Jen on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:12 PM
11 moms liked this
Get a shirt that says: "You noticed my child's behavior. I noticed your
behavior. We're trying to modify hers; please modify yours. "
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MissKrystal
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:17 PM

I don't care for me. I don't care what people say/think of me. But, my kids are different. It breaks my heart to see people treating my kids that way. Especially when I think he is such an amazing little spirit. Just sad.

Quoting Cubanmom84:

Mmm I roll my eyes at them and smh lol I have had always had that kind of attitude with people, if you don't know my life, if you don't walk in my shoes, you don't suffer my sadness and daily worries, then you don't get the right to look at me like that, so I do the same now, I don't let it affect me. I have never really worried about what people think and am not gonna worry now.


VioletsMomTown
by Robyn on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:46 PM
2 moms liked this

There are actually cards that TACA sells that you can give them to explain that your child has autism (link)

To be honest, I don't know if I'm antisocial or what, maybe its because I have a lot of tattoos and used to people staring already, but I honestly don't care at all. I tune people out.

Violet's Mom

Twitter @autismnotebook

Cubanmom84
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:29 PM
Mm i think as parents we worry more than they ever will. At least mine is totally oblivious to the looks the comments, to everything lol

Quoting MissKrystal:

I don't care for me. I don't care what people say/think of me. But, my kids are different. It breaks my heart to see people treating my kids that way. Especially when I think he is such an amazing little spirit. Just sad.

Quoting Cubanmom84:

Mmm I roll my eyes at them and smh lol I have had always had that kind of attitude with people, if you don't know my life, if you don't walk in my shoes, you don't suffer my sadness and daily worries, then you don't get the right to look at me like that, so I do the same now, I don't let it affect me. I have never really worried about what people think and am not gonna worry now.


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busymommy98
by Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:36 PM

I only say something if my ds notices their dirty looks. Most of the time, people are understanding or at the very least stop staring when I say something to them. We are known at the stores around us and tend to run into the same cashiers and a few familiar customers so it really isn't an issue. It is when we go to the mall or someplace big like Sam's Club that we run into the most ignorance. I found a question on a bumper sticker that will make you mommies laugh. It said, "if ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?" I laughed until I cried when I saw that one. It depends on the situation but if their dirty looks go unnoticed by your child, let it be until it gets noticed. Occasional rudeness is unavoidable. I just use myself as a buffer between ds and the cruel ones in the world.

Jenniy
by Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:38 PM
2 moms liked this
Depends on my mood, sometimes I ignore the looks other times I look them in the eye and say he's special needs what's YOUR excuse!
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DJT721
by Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:03 PM

I'm still learning how to deal with that.  People are ignorant.  I've had experience for a long time now as my adult sister in law is clearly autistic and people stare and make comments.  It hurts worse with my own son.  He is 2 and non verbal.  If I catch a person staring at him I say to him "Look, people are staring at you"  It usually makes them pretty uncomfortable that I've noticed.  Now the rude comments, I still need some good combacks.  I saw a shirt that read "keep staring, maybe you'll cure my child's autism" .  I was also at a theme park once and a teen boy had a clip on badge like the kind you'd wear at work on his shirt that read something like "I might not look at you or answer you, I have AUTISM".  I hope with this big rise in cases people will become more educated. 

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Mar. 22, 2013 at 7:00 AM

This.  Exactly.

Quoting Jenniy:

Depends on my mood, sometimes I ignore the looks other times I look them in the eye and say he's special needs what's YOUR excuse!


Koltie6
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 8:23 AM
4 moms liked this
I can't wait to get the cards. One day a lady in Target was really rude. My 6 year old was having a meltdown as we checked out. I lectured her on autism and the statistics. I told her to get familiar with it as 1 in 88 children are affected. So she would probably be touched by it in her life and should educate herself on it. She grabbed her sack and left People behind me clapped. My older son said way to go mom. As I approached the checker he thanked me and said I have a lot in common with your son as I have Autism as well. I couldnt believe it. I know if I dont stand up for my child no one will. I can't tolerate rude ignorant people.
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