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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Can you help me determine the thought behind this action?

Posted by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:49 PM
  • 14 Replies

we have an autistic 4 year old and whenever practically anything happens, his father gets up to go to the bathroom, goes to the kitchen to get him food, tries to hand him food or drink, talks to him or just practically anything at all he will run into a wall, start kicking the wall or tv, and just tries to destroy stuff. we can't even come up with a reasoning behind it, I mean if someone hands you something it means take it and it should be painfully obvious even to a 4 month old (he has 10 month mentality).


I have to point out I am step mom and not actually related, his father has always been his primary caregiver. I cannot be around him much because he screams all day long to the point of causing earaches so it it mainly or only his father who takes care of him. No he is not verbal, just screams. Also, we have spoken to his dr.s and teachers and everyone just says put a helmet on him and carry on with everything, no real information is ever given or anything trying to be solved.

by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
unusualmom
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:03 PM

I have no clue.  My son doesnt really care for men in general.  My dh is a great dad but our 9 year old doesnt give a rats behind about him or my dad - or any man.  Is it a man thing?  

Bobsie
by Bronze Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 5:44 PM
My son will throw things, destroy things. He does it to communicate to me he is upset, angry or whatever negative emotion he is feeling. I'd imagine your child is doing the same thing in an effort to communicate his negative feelings with you.
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Charizma77
by Carissa on Mar. 24, 2013 at 8:42 PM

I'm not sure but that sounds frustrating.  Have you talked to his dr. or therapist about it?

lucasmadre
by Kari on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:02 PM
1 mom liked this

What do I know but it sounds like change is impossible for him to process. I would try telling him what you are about to do. Prepare him for every change (just as an experiement.) Try to think of it as EVERYTHING being overwhelming...if this is only with his dad then there is something going on between the two of them, I wouldn't be so sure he has a 10 month old mentality...Good luck mom. Take care XO

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Mar. 25, 2013 at 6:08 AM

This.  Hugs mama!

Quoting Charizma77:

I'm not sure but that sounds frustrating.  Have you talked to his dr. or therapist about it?


JTMOM422
by Brenda on Mar. 25, 2013 at 9:43 AM
1 mom liked this

I would consider looking into using PECS. Maybe by having something visual to show you might help him. Also is your son verbal?

emarin77
by Silver Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 11:32 AM

 

 

Whatever she said:  A 4 year old should be using some kind of communication to state that they are angry and not hitting and throwing stuff.

Quoting Bobsie:

My son will throw things, destroy things. He does it to communicate to me he is upset, angry or whatever negative emotion he is feeling. I'd imagine your child is doing the same thing in an effort to communicate his negative feelings with you.

 

 

VioletsMomTown
by Robyn on Mar. 25, 2013 at 12:05 PM

Maybe he has a smell (cologne), or a voice that bothers him? Maybe he pictures you giving food to him. What's different, has he always been that way with him? Is his dad really frustrated with him? ( I can understand if he is) because our kids pick up on energy and intention, and if dad is feeling stress, (even if its about work) then your son probably feels it too, and thinks its directed toward him.

Violet's Mom

Twitter @autismnotebook

yourdoingwhat
by Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 6:24 PM

His voice? To low, to high, to deep? Does dad have one of those booming loud carrying voice? Does dad say anything as he gets up to go do something or does he just get up and walk by the child? What if dad takes the childs hand and takes the child with him into kitchen or bathroom? What if you hold the child and have dad hand you the thing he is going to give to the child and then you hand it to child. If that works then have dad keep hand on the item with you also keeping your hand on it and hand to child? Or you hold childs hand and walk beside dad to kitchen? Is it just dad he does this to or both of you? 

takeitall13
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 10:09 PM
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 I would try a PECS board, routine!  so he knows what to expect, a visual timer, telling him when changes are coming, and ASL- there are Great FREE asl programs out there aslpro.com has a free dictionary, youtube has some signing videos, etc-  Signing TIme runs a free tv show on PBS sometimes, we recorded them and ds thrived.  Our ds didn't speak until around 20months after we started doing sign with him- and then BAAM!  a few months later he was saying 50+ words it was amazing.  Your son may be further advanced than you think but with all the sensory issues they could be holding him back..  concidering his age even if he IS verbal when youre overwhelmed it is hard to express your feelings.  HUGS.  I know how overwhelming it is but take deep breaths and find some therapists to help you out too :)  Welcome to the group, we can all help you too :)

Quoting JTMOM422:

I would consider looking into using PECS. Maybe by having something visual to show you might help him. Also is your son verbal?

 

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