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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

What will you do?

Posted by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 10:35 AM
  • 28 Replies

I want to homeschool my son when he starts middle school which is in 2014-15 school year. But, he wants to go to a regular school. He's 11 but emotionally, he's about 8-9 year old. He can't keep up with the middle school kids and I am scared of him being bullied. What will you do?

by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 10:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
dawncs
by Dawn on Mar. 26, 2013 at 10:58 AM
1 mom liked this

It is kind of understandable that he is thinking and desiring to go to middle school because it is what his peers at school are discussing right now. Middle school is a tough transition for tweens and teens on the Autism Spectrum including the HFA and Asperger Syndrome students. There is some really good advice on this at http://www.aspergersyndrome.org/. It really should depend on the placement being offered to him. The inclusion or mainstream teachers expect their students of all abilities to follow directions and to be independent at the middle school level. There is switching classes which can cause a variety of problems and not just being bullied for being different. You might want to check out the K12 (http://www.k12.com/) program to keep things afforable. For socializiation, I recommend him being involved in activities, clubs, and sports based on his interests.

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

mommy4lyf
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 11:37 AM

 

Thanks. I will definitely check on that. I just can't see him mixed with middle school kids- call it an instinct.

Quoting dawncs:

It is kind of understandable that he is thinking and desiring to go to middle school because it is what his peers at school are discussing right now. Middle school is a tough transition for tweens and teens on the Autism Spectrum including the HFA and Asperger Syndrome students. There is some really good advice on this at http://www.aspergersyndrome.org/. It really should depend on the placement being offered to him. The inclusion or mainstream teachers expect their students of all abilities to follow directions and to be independent at the middle school level. There is switching classes which can cause a variety of problems and not just being bullied for being different. You might want to check out the K12 (http://www.k12.com/) program to keep things afforable. For socializiation, I recommend him being involved in activities, clubs, and sports based on his interests.


 

VioletsMomTown
by Robyn on Mar. 26, 2013 at 11:58 AM
1 mom liked this

I would let him go to school if he wants to, but let him know that if he decides to be homeschooled once he's seen how it goes, the option is there.

Violet's Mom

Twitter @autismnotebook

mypbandj
by Jen on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:06 PM
2 moms liked this

I was afraid to send my son to middle school too. I was picturing him getting shoved in lockers and stuff like that. But none of that happened and he is fine. He's in high school now, doing great! 

While the momma bear wants to pull him home and protect him from every mean asshole kid out there, I know that he is going to have to learn how to deal with those types of people sometime - cause I don't want him living at home forever!! So, while school isn't always ideal, I do beleive that kids can learn good life lessons there that they can't learn at home. 

mommy4lyf
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:51 PM

 

We will give it a try. Thanks! that's a good idea!.  I know that he will have his own battles someday but right now, he still can't protect himself or make his own decision.

Quoting VioletsMomTown:

I would let him go to school if he wants to, but let him know that if he decides to be homeschooled once he's seen how it goes, the option is there.


 

mommy4lyf
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 2:05 PM

 

You are right. If the school can protect my child, I will not have a second thought.  Looks like you are lucky to be in an area with such a good school for children with disabilities.

There's only two Middle School around our area. The first one was already crossed out from my list (parents are too upset to make comments about the school, yes! that bad. and the other one is a little bit promising about 15-20 mins away from our house, good neighborhood but, it will be decided by the school district. I only have 2 choices, the second school and homeschool. I still have this whole year to decide and it's draining me already.

Quoting mypbandj:

I was afraid to send my son to middle school too. I was picturing him getting shoved in lockers and stuff like that. But none of that happened and he is fine. He's in high school now, doing great! 

While the momma bear wants to pull him home and protect him from every mean asshole kid out there, I know that he is going to have to learn how to deal with those types of people sometime - cause I don't want him living at home forever!! So, while school isn't always ideal, I do beleive that kids can learn good life lessons there that they can't learn at home. 


 

mypbandj
by Jen on Mar. 26, 2013 at 2:39 PM

I understand the feeling of being drained! We moved to our house 4 months before middle school started because it was in the "right" school district. If we were in a different district, I would probably have been thinking homeschool too! 

I think that the fact that your child wants to go to school is a good sign. My son was the same way. (I had even offered to homeschool him at one point and he told me no). 

I went w/ my son to an orientation that all 6th graders getting ready to come into the school go to. The kids usually do it as a field trip from the elementry school but we lived out of district at the time, so I just brought him myself and we crashed another schools fieldtrip. Anyway, the schools administration seemed VERY strict on their bullying policy and explained to the kids that it would not be tolerated. They have cameras all over the school so should anything happen, it would be caught on tape. I will admit, hearing all of that made me feel so much better! 

Good luck! I know you will make the right decision for your son. 

Quoting mommy4lyf:


You are right. If the school can protect my child, I will not have a second thought.  Looks like you are lucky to be in an area with such a good school for children with disabilities.

There's only two Middle School around our area. The first one was already crossed out from my list (parents are too upset to make comments about the school, yes! that bad. and the other one is a little bit promising about 15-20 mins away from our house, good neighborhood but, it will be decided by the school district. I only have 2 choices, the second school and homeschool. I still have this whole year to decide and it's draining me already.

Quoting mypbandj:

I was afraid to send my son to middle school too. I was picturing him getting shoved in lockers and stuff like that. But none of that happened and he is fine. He's in high school now, doing great! 

While the momma bear wants to pull him home and protect him from every mean asshole kid out there, I know that he is going to have to learn how to deal with those types of people sometime - cause I don't want him living at home forever!! So, while school isn't always ideal, I do beleive that kids can learn good life lessons there that they can't learn at home. 




mommy4lyf
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 3:47 PM

 

That will be really nice if the school can give me a good reason to register him. I know that I am not the only one with this kind of fear. That is true, it's indeed a good sign. Oh well, one step at a time. I have nothing to lose, I heard a lot of homeschooled kids who are doing just fine as well as kids in a regular school. Right now, just don't know where my kid will fit. Thank you guys for the input.

Quoting mypbandj:

I understand the feeling of being drained! We moved to our house 4 months before middle school started because it was in the "right" school district. If we were in a different district, I would probably have been thinking homeschool too! 

I think that the fact that your child wants to go to school is a good sign. My son was the same way. (I had even offered to homeschool him at one point and he told me no). 

I went w/ my son to an orientation that all 6th graders getting ready to come into the school go to. The kids usually do it as a field trip from the elementry school but we lived out of district at the time, so I just brought him myself and we crashed another schools fieldtrip. Anyway, the schools administration seemed VERY strict on their bullying policy and explained to the kids that it would not be tolerated. They have cameras all over the school so should anything happen, it would be caught on tape. I will admit, hearing all of that made me feel so much better! 

Good luck! I know you will make the right decision for your son. 

Quoting mommy4lyf:

 

You are right. If the school can protect my child, I will not have a second thought.  Looks like you are lucky to be in an area with such a good school for children with disabilities.

There's only two Middle School around our area. The first one was already crossed out from my list (parents are too upset to make comments about the school, yes! that bad. and the other one is a little bit promising about 15-20 mins away from our house, good neighborhood but, it will be decided by the school district. I only have 2 choices, the second school and homeschool. I still have this whole year to decide and it's draining me already.

Quoting mypbandj:

I was afraid to send my son to middle school too. I was picturing him getting shoved in lockers and stuff like that. But none of that happened and he is fine. He's in high school now, doing great! 

While the momma bear wants to pull him home and protect him from every mean asshole kid out there, I know that he is going to have to learn how to deal with those types of people sometime - cause I don't want him living at home forever!! So, while school isn't always ideal, I do beleive that kids can learn good life lessons there that they can't learn at home. 

 

 



 

jeda1429
by Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 4:24 PM
1 mom liked this

I was really nervous about middle school as well, but my son has done surprisingly well. He has really matured a great deal this year and is taking all of the changes much better than I had thought he would. I say let  him go if he wants to, just make sure that there are appropriate supports in place.

SAMI_JO
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:01 PM

 At that age is when their social skills bloom. I had a friend that did exactly what you are talking about doing, and when he came back to school he had to repeat the 7th grade, because he could not focus because he was trying to make friends that he missed out on when he was homeschooled. He needs to get REALLY aquainted with the counselor, so that if an issue does come up he or you will know who to go to.

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