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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Curing Autism?

Posted by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 12:40 AM
  • 47 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Cure or Acceptance?

Options:

cure

acceptance


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 53

View Results

Here is the thread I made about not wanting to "cure" my son.  http://mobile.cafemom.com/group/115189/forums/read/18305573/Autism_Cure


Someone posted a "fuck acceptance I want a cure" thread.


So - Would you cure your autistic child? Do you want a cure or acceptance?

by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 12:40 AM
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Replies (1-10):
3lilmonsters88
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 12:41 AM
2 moms liked this
A cure but until then if ever acceptance
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kajira
by Emma on Apr. 2, 2013 at 12:42 AM
5 moms liked this
I think we need both - I think the kind of non verbal type of autistic person that can't even wipe their own butt, is a very different kind of autistic person than I am or my brother is, who are able to talk, and live independent lives. my brother and I would not want a cure, but I can understand why someone would if their child is smearing poop on the wall at 25....
KatyTylersMom
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 1:40 AM
3 moms liked this

I want a cure because I do not view autism as merely a different way of 'being'.  I can see it LEADING to a different way to being, behaving, and interacting but at the heart of it I see it as a disease, one that is somehow becoming more and more prevalent without anyone knowing why, and while I will fight for acceptance, for therapy, for friends, for schooling, for a job, and for a happy life of my kids' choosing (as I would do for any kid I had, I just don't happen to have any NTs at the moment!) I am fully aware that autism is denying them experiences and changing their childhood.  Sometimes it's for the better but mostly it's just harder and less 'free' than I feel is fair. 

So yes, I want a cure because I want the cause.  I want the cause even if there is no cure to come from it.  And god forbid it's something preventable that was covered up because hell hath no fury like that person or persons will see from this momma. 

MissTacoBell
by Bronze Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 1:47 AM
2 moms liked this
I want the cause which would be followed by the cure.

In the meantime, I going with acceptance.
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LADYxGHOST
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 2:07 AM

I think that depending on where the child is in the AS, would affect the answer. I am fortunate my ds is not the severest of cases. if he was as severe as a few children I have seen i would opt for cure above all else. Why wouldn't you if you look at your child and know he or she will never be able to live on their own and after you pass they will live in a state home for the rest of their lives unless a sibling takes them in. That would scare me and worry me everyday. If you child is not severe and with coaching and training function in the real world, you may opt to just get people to better understand him or her and not make life any harder than it already is. My ds has gotten better over the years with hard work and effort on everyone around him. My hope is one day he will get to the point that no one would guess he had ASD. he may be a bit odd and a little quirky but able to actually function in the world and have a decent quality of life. I am lucky becasue given his current state it is a real possibility for him.

My ds's uncle is also Autistic, but becasue of lack of acceptance and proper therapy, the man is 35 and has a very poor quality of life. My ex worries abotu his brother. When his parents pass none of the siblings will take him in, he will have to go live in a home. My ex feels like he should step up, but becasue of compounded issues, his brother is really a danger to be around. he is aware enough to know he is an adult, thinks he doesn't have to listen to anyone else. When he doesn't get his way, he breaks things and has tantrums. he can not travel or even go outside since it is near a busy street and the noise upsets him. he and his parents refuse therapy. they all live in denial because admiting he has Autisim would be admiting that his issue was not due to defiance and so the beatings they gave him where wrong. My ds has little to do with his grandparents becasue of thier inability to accept he isn't NT. For my former BIL, I would say he needs a cure. If he hadn't been born this way, then his life would be much different, he wouldn't have had to rely on his parents to do the extra work needed to properly raise a child in the AS.

I have worked really hard with my son becasue of his uncle. I know the guilt and the pain my former MIL is going through. She is so scared for her son. i did tell my ex and his mom, that he can come live with me after they pass. By that time my children will be grown and out of everyone he actually responds to me. I got him to stop yelling and to actually do chores and to use the bus to go to a monthly medication managment meeting and to take his meds. However when I ma not around he goes off meds but he does keep his appointments since I stop by every month to check upon him.

The cure isn't to make them more normal, it is to ease their suffereing. Though my ds is getting so much better, i see the pain and frustration he goes through daily. It hurts and who wouldn't want to ease their childs pain? Yes I want he to be accepted fro who he is, but if I oculd take away his added pain, then I would. There are nights he would cry himself to sleep because he was so upset and confused and scared by the world around him. he currenly sufferes from depression and feels like his fmaily would be better off without him because he sees how he affects us. He longs to be normal, to have friends and conversations with people and to do all the things he sees the other kids do, but he just doesn't fit in and doesn't quite understand. My dd is NT and it isn't easy for her so being normal doesn't mean you have no problems, just that you problems are not that different from you peers so you can understand each other a bit better.

kajira
by Emma on Apr. 2, 2013 at 3:59 AM
1 mom liked this

Not every autistic person feels they suffer though.

I have a very different attitude, I feel that every life experience, teaches me something new, and I grow wiser, and smarter because of it. I don't feel learning, is suffering - even if lessons are learned differently than others at times.

Not every autistic person feels their life is full of pain and suffering. I have classic autism and I think my life is pretty freaking awesome. :o

Quoting LADYxGHOST:

I think that depending on where the child is in the AS, would affect the answer. I am fortunate my ds is not the severest of cases. if he was as severe as a few children I have seen i would opt for cure above all else. Why wouldn't you if you look at your child and know he or she will never be able to live on their own and after you pass they will live in a state home for the rest of their lives unless a sibling takes them in. That would scare me and worry me everyday. If you child is not severe and with coaching and training function in the real world, you may opt to just get people to better understand him or her and not make life any harder than it already is. My ds has gotten better over the years with hard work and effort on everyone around him. My hope is one day he will get to the point that no one would guess he had ASD. he may be a bit odd and a little quirky but able to actually function in the world and have a decent quality of life. I am lucky becasue given his current state it is a real possibility for him.

My ds's uncle is also Autistic, but becasue of lack of acceptance and proper therapy, the man is 35 and has a very poor quality of life. My ex worries abotu his brother. When his parents pass none of the siblings will take him in, he will have to go live in a home. My ex feels like he should step up, but becasue of compounded issues, his brother is really a danger to be around. he is aware enough to know he is an adult, thinks he doesn't have to listen to anyone else. When he doesn't get his way, he breaks things and has tantrums. he can not travel or even go outside since it is near a busy street and the noise upsets him. he and his parents refuse therapy. they all live in denial because admiting he has Autisim would be admiting that his issue was not due to defiance and so the beatings they gave him where wrong. My ds has little to do with his grandparents becasue of thier inability to accept he isn't NT. For my former BIL, I would say he needs a cure. If he hadn't been born this way, then his life would be much different, he wouldn't have had to rely on his parents to do the extra work needed to properly raise a child in the AS.

I have worked really hard with my son becasue of his uncle. I know the guilt and the pain my former MIL is going through. She is so scared for her son. i did tell my ex and his mom, that he can come live with me after they pass. By that time my children will be grown and out of everyone he actually responds to me. I got him to stop yelling and to actually do chores and to use the bus to go to a monthly medication managment meeting and to take his meds. However when I ma not around he goes off meds but he does keep his appointments since I stop by every month to check upon him.

The cure isn't to make them more normal, it is to ease their suffereing. Though my ds is getting so much better, i see the pain and frustration he goes through daily. It hurts and who wouldn't want to ease their childs pain? Yes I want he to be accepted fro who he is, but if I oculd take away his added pain, then I would. There are nights he would cry himself to sleep because he was so upset and confused and scared by the world around him. he currenly sufferes from depression and feels like his fmaily would be better off without him because he sees how he affects us. He longs to be normal, to have friends and conversations with people and to do all the things he sees the other kids do, but he just doesn't fit in and doesn't quite understand. My dd is NT and it isn't easy for her so being normal doesn't mean you have no problems, just that you problems are not that different from you peers so you can understand each other a bit better.


Living with Autism - The quirky kitty.

Our autistic Family - A Dad's point of view on living with Autism

JoshRachelsMAMA
by JRM on Apr. 2, 2013 at 4:05 AM
Non verbal autistics are capable of wiping their own butts.

Quoting kajira:

I think we need both - I think the kind of non verbal type of autistic person that can't even wipe their own butt, is a very different kind of autistic person than I am or my brother is, who are able to talk, and live independent lives.

my brother and I would not want a cure, but I can understand why someone would if their child is smearing poop on the wall at 25....
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
kajira
by Emma on Apr. 2, 2013 at 4:15 AM
2 moms liked this

I never said they weren't.... I said I understand why someone (gave a generic example) would want a cure for someone in an extreme situation....

Being able to talk and live an independant life, is different than someone who will always need assistance and be unable to do even simple tasks for themselves with out help - whether they can talk or not.

my verbal skills in real life are pretty hit or miss, I have classic autism, I talk really funny and people often have a hard time understanding me - but i'm fully able to live an independant life with out requiring caretakers, or a live-in facility, or my family caring for me for the rest of my life.

I'm not the same person, as someone who can't drive a car, or balance a check book, or take care of a home on their own.... and for the people who want a cure for their families, I understand and have a lot of compassion for them, even if I don't want a cure for myself, or those I know who are higher functioning and also don't wish a cure for themselves.

You can have compassion for others, even if you don't want the treatment for yourself or someone you know.


Quoting JoshRachelsMAMA:

Non verbal autistics are capable of wiping their own butts.

Quoting kajira:

I think we need both - I think the kind of non verbal type of autistic person that can't even wipe their own butt, is a very different kind of autistic person than I am or my brother is, who are able to talk, and live independent lives.

my brother and I would not want a cure, but I can understand why someone would if their child is smearing poop on the wall at 25....


Living with Autism - The quirky kitty.

Our autistic Family - A Dad's point of view on living with Autism

johnns
by Johnna on Apr. 2, 2013 at 6:42 AM
I've accepted this situation, but I'm all about a cure and cause! I think its silly to say you wouldn't change it if you could. If there was 2 lines to get in 1) sign up here for autistic line, or 2) no autism line, which line is going to fill up faster? It is what it is, and I'm becoming a better person and mother for it, but if someone said " who wants a special needs kid?", don't think I would be the 1st to raise my hand. Seems like a trick question- cure or acceptance? No one goes out of their way to have a hardship on purpose.
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maciymommieof3
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 7:52 AM

acceptance

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