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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Needing Help/Advice

Posted by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 2:53 PM
  • 19 Replies

Ok...so here it all is and any information is greatly appreciated.

My Autistic son is 8 and my daughter is 5. By the time baby number 3 enters the world they will be 9 and 6. I realized just the other day that ALL my efforts are in my son and I have been "neglecting" in a sense my daughter in terms of being on her with her school work and development. On top of that I will eventually have a new baby. So I really need some sample daily routines or something to help guide me into making my own daily routines, and some advice on how to discipline myself to follow those routines so I can fit in time for everyone and accomplish what I need to. I am not a routine person on my own, that is a HARD task for me to implement on my own but I know for my son it is necessary and am starting to think it is necessary to so I can fit my daughter in there.

I also need some help on sleep aids for my son. He doesn't sleep well and often has bags under his eyes. And basically I just need to know where to start with this. While I have had the diagnosis for a while, I really have not reached a "starting point" at home with it. For years we paid attention to his first diagnosis of ADHD so now it is hard to change gears a bit. Essentially, I am overwhelmed with everything and could use some guidance on this I guess. THANK YOU ahead of time for just listening if that is all you do :)

by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 2:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
autismmom85
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 3:00 PM

First let me say blessings to you and believe me I understand. I have 3 children my middle son is the one with the diagnosis and I find myself doing the same thing and working full time makes it extremely hard to give everyone the same amount of attention. Its impossible but my reality is you have to "custom parent" each child.So I give each one what they need based on their level of self sufficiency.  Its a struggle but the best advice is one day at a time. Wisk you and your family the best and dont beat yourself up just do the best you can everyday! Hugs

LivinDeadGurl
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 10:20 PM

BUMP!

mypbandj
by Jen on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:28 PM
I'm not a scheduled person and as many times as I have tried to do that, I've never been able to follow through. Whether it be: I will go to the gym every M,W, & F - FAIL

or I will always start bedtime at 7:00 - FAIL

For me, life just happens and I go with the flow. I can't have a strict schedule cause I'd never follow it.

Maybe, you could try to spend some quality time with your dd everyday. Even if its just five minutes. If you have to set an alarm for yourself to do it, do that. But just try and go over to her and play with her. I think UNscheduled time together is best.

You can also plan mom/daughter outings every so often. Like go to the movies together. Or go shopping. Or get your toes painted.
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Basherte
by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:02 AM

Good luck with this. I would consult the therapists that work with your son on a schedule for him, as well as an all around schedule that might work for you, with your imput as well, of course.

Congrats on the new baby. 

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amonkeymom
by Amy on Apr. 3, 2013 at 1:29 PM

Welcome!  I totally understand being pulled in so many directions.  It helps me sometimes to write down what I need to do, what I want to do and just check things off... not saying that your daughter is something that you need to check off, but it might help with making the time to spend with her.

For sleep, my kids and I have been using melatonin when we feel that we are having trouble sleeping.  It's a natural supplement, something that your body makes anyway.

Clemency3
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 5:58 PM


Where do you get melatonin? Is it over the counter?

Quoting amonkeymom:

Welcome!  I totally understand being pulled in so many directions.  It helps me sometimes to write down what I need to do, what I want to do and just check things off... not saying that your daughter is something that you need to check off, but it might help with making the time to spend with her.

For sleep, my kids and I have been using melatonin when we feel that we are having trouble sleeping.  It's a natural supplement, something that your body makes anyway.



TheJerseyGirl
by Michele on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:30 PM
I love what you said with Life Just Happens and we go with the flow... Yes! Us too!

Quoting mypbandj:

I'm not a scheduled person and as many times as I have tried to do that, I've never been able to follow through. Whether it be: I will go to the gym every M,W, & F - FAIL



or I will always start bedtime at 7:00 - FAIL



For me, life just happens and I go with the flow. I can't have a strict schedule cause I'd never follow it.



Maybe, you could try to spend some quality time with your dd everyday. Even if its just five minutes. If you have to set an alarm for yourself to do it, do that. But just try and go over to her and play with her. I think UNscheduled time together is best.



You can also plan mom/daughter outings every so often. Like go to the movies together. Or go shopping. Or get your toes painted.
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mypbandj
by Jen on Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:04 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes. Just use the smallest does possible. It can cause vivid dreams. Oh, and it has to be dark for it to work. So you give it about 30 mins before bed, then into bed, lights out. 

Quoting Clemency3:


Where do you get melatonin? Is it over the counter?

Quoting amonkeymom:

Welcome!  I totally understand being pulled in so many directions.  It helps me sometimes to write down what I need to do, what I want to do and just check things off... not saying that your daughter is something that you need to check off, but it might help with making the time to spend with her.

For sleep, my kids and I have been using melatonin when we feel that we are having trouble sleeping.  It's a natural supplement, something that your body makes anyway.




sourpatchmom098
by Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:56 PM

 

yes you can get it at walmart or wherever in the vitamin section usually i have to give it to my daughter as well. its the only way to keep her on a sleep routine

Quoting Clemency3:

 

Where do you get melatonin? Is it over the counter?

Quoting amonkeymom:

Welcome!  I totally understand being pulled in so many directions.  It helps me sometimes to write down what I need to do, what I want to do and just check things off... not saying that your daughter is something that you need to check off, but it might help with making the time to spend with her.

For sleep, my kids and I have been using melatonin when we feel that we are having trouble sleeping.  It's a natural supplement, something that your body makes anyway.

 

 


 

JTMOM422
by Brenda on Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:18 PM

For your daughter I would try date night. One night a week where it is just about her. You could even make a day of it. shopping lunch, getting your nails done. I would also try including her into daily routines. If she likes to cook allow her to help with dinner or baking dessert. Maybe do a puzzle together. just the 2 of you. One that you can work on a little at a time and have chat time. 

For the sleeping issues I would recommend Melatonin. It's a natural substance for sleep. I take it personally and it works great. I know that my sons doctor recommends it for his patients that have sleep issues. Like I said it's natural and you can find it at walmart. I do know other moms on here have given it to their children for sleep also. i would just check with his doctor about the dosage.

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