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Having One of THOSE Days

Posted by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 12:59 PM
  • 7 Replies

We normally attend church on Sunday mornings. However, I am typing this just about the time our pastor should be saying the last few sentences of his sermon. Why?

It is one of THOSE days.

Our older son woke up in a great mood. The kind that makes you know it's going to be an awesome, walking on air, I can handle Autism if it's this easy type of day.

Then our younger son woke up. And that was the end of easy. He has been having one major meltdown after another. His meltdowns are LOUD, long, and LOUD. They are full of tears and oh, did I mention, loud. It hit fast and hard within minutes of him waking up. My mind scurried for the answer and I just seemed to make it worse. Then it hit me. He had soccer yesterday. He had snacks at soccer. Stupid things, upon inspection online of the ingredients, were soy filled. I didn't pay attention and stop him. He reacts to soy in violent ways. And that means there's nothing you can do but wait.

I finally got him to the point I could touch him. I picked him up, cradled him (yes, he's 5, but you do what works in the ASD world), wrapped his mongee (his word for his special blanket he's had since birth) around him, and sang our special song ("You Are My Sunshine"). I sang, and sang, and sang, and sang. He suddenly took a deep breath and I knew it was working. I sang, and sang, and sand and he pulled the mongee from his eyes to look into mine. That's our connection, and that's when I know I am getting to him. He doesn't do that with anyone else, ever. He moved his hand to my face (he likes my cheek and hair, has since he was tiny) and I kept singing. It took me singing for probably 30 minutes and I got him to the point he could go on with his day. Daddy took the boys on an adventure (we live on 400 acres) and they have been gone for 2 hours. Being in nature soothes him, calms him.

The hard part is, no one gets it outside the Autism world. I know our church family loves us. But they have to be thinking, "man, they miss a lot of church". You just can't ever get it unless you live it. I knew you all would get it. I have no idea what this afternoon will bring. It will probably be bad. But having these quiet moments where I can gather my thoughts (I stayed home due to a migraine - gee wonder where that came from), come on here and know you all get it, sure will help me be more patient this afternoon when it is all hitting the fan with full speed.

OFIH - Controller of chaos, laugher at children's antics, creator of messes, lover of God.
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 12:59 PM
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by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 1:05 PM
Oh, and did I mention we are supposed to go to grandma's for egg dying? He will freak if we don't go. He will freak if we go. So freaking will happen, period.
OFIH - Controller of chaos, laugher at children's antics, creator of messes, lover of God.
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 1:07 PM
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by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 1:39 PM

Oh!!! I sing "You are my Sunshine" to my son also!  That is so wonderful that you two have that connection and could get through the yuck to get to the rest of the day.   That's pretty much how I handled my son's meltdowns also--using calming things...since about 99% of his meltdowns were because of some real autism/health issue and not bad behavior.

On church, I talked with my friend, the pastor's wife, a long time ago about this.  She made a good point to me in that I never really talked about my son and what we were going through and how people could help, hence they don't know why we are doing the things we are doing.  I never was comfortable at that point with getting together with the church family to discuss the whole thing since at that time my son was being diagnosed, but I think if I knew back then more what was going on, I might have taken the chance and put something somewhere to let people know why we weren't there and if any were interested how they could help.

Right now we are doing...hmmm...home church...just our family walking with Jesus on a daily basis.  I haven't been able to figure out how to do the corporate church thing yet so hopefully soon. 

Your post has to be one of my favorites ever because of your kindness to your son and your great efforts to reach beyond the autism to help your son inside.  Thank you so much for sharing this!


by Amy on Apr. 7, 2013 at 2:17 PM

group hug

by Emma on Apr. 7, 2013 at 2:58 PM

awwww I am so sorry, and I totally understand. *hugs*

by Emma on Apr. 7, 2013 at 2:59 PM

Oh, and I totally sing the you are my sunshine song too - and the "I love you song" (barney? LOL)

ANNNNNND last but not least... lambchops... this is the song that never ends.....

That song on repeat keeps ME from losing it when everyone else is losing it and i'm the one that has to stay rational - it's amazing how calming it can be for you too to do something over and over again that helps them, but also keeps you from feeling helpless like you can't do anything.

My daughter had bad colic, and those 3 songs for hours is what got us through figuring out she was gluten-intolerant.

by Carissa on Apr. 7, 2013 at 5:42 PM

Hugs! I have had those days and I am married to the pastor of our church ;)

our church has 3 other families with kids with autism that attend. Ages 7-13 and we run a support group through our church and a once a month Saturday evening service geared towards kids and adults with special needs. I am blessed that our church family walks beside us every step of the way. But, I  have had mornings where I knew it was a stay home day because of autism.  It can get discouraging. If you ever want to chat, pm me!

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