Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Hostile only to certain individuals?

Posted by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:34 AM
  • 10 Replies

This is something that puzzles me and I'm curious to know if other moms have experienced this with their ASD child.  My son is 4 and nonverbal.  He is a very happy child and sometimes will interact with a high-five or a wave, but on the whole he is cautious, especially around strangers.  If a stranger talks to him he will either stare blankly at them or back away.  But he's never hostile.  Well I've noticed here recently that there are just some people he absolutely cannot stand!  Perfect strangers he's never met before!  We were visiting his grandpa (my dad) in the hospital last week and this cute, young nurse walked into the room and my son literally growled at her! Then he clapped his hands together as if to say, "Be gone with you!"  Then yesterday at Walmart, he growled at one of the cashiers and slapped his hand down on the counter like, "Get busy!"  My mom and I just looked at each, we couldn't understand what the deal was. Anybody experience something similar?  Or can offer any insight into this behavior?

*Angelia Bell*

by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:34 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
darbyakeep45
by Darby on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:43 AM
1 mom liked this

My son is the same way...to an extent.  He can sense things and if he is overwhelmed or feels threatened, he will scream and hit himself in the head.  I can detect this pretty quickly so I immediately remove him from the situation.  Some children make him feel this way, so I have to be careful as to who he's around.  He does fine at school as there aren't many kids in his class, but we don't do playdates or large group functions with kids.  He has no issues with adults...it's just other kids he doesn't like.  Hugs mama!

busymommy98
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:48 AM
3 moms liked this

Not the hostility but my son will not even glance at some of my co-workers. It's funny because these are usually the negative people...e.g. the ones who constantly gossip or just have a negative attitude. Sometimes I swear he knows more about people than I do. He senses things about people I sometimes miss. He isn't always right but most of the time he is. Smart lil man...

JTMOM422
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:47 AM

Could it be maybe a sensory issues. Too much hairspray or perfume they were wearing. I haven't had this issue but that is all I can think it is.

Basherte
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 10:14 AM
1 mom liked this

My son does something like that. I learned that it was a certain voice... 

some people he will react to positively when he hears them speak. And others he wants nothing to do with. 

I know what kind of voice does this with my son, but it's easier to hear than to explain.

The liaison to the landlord (the one we used to have) had a voice that just rubbed my son the wrong way. She would come in the apartment and talk and my son would start crying. It's like the voice hurts his ears. 

SHe always sounded angry even when she was being nice.

He is still like that. He's 4 and nonverbal.

CafeMom Tickers
mommy4lyf
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 10:23 AM

 Just like my son!

Quoting busymommy98:

Not the hostility but my son will not even glance at some of my co-workers. It's funny because these are usually the negative people...e.g. the ones who constantly gossip or just have a negative attitude. Sometimes I swear he knows more about people than I do. He senses things about people I sometimes miss. He isn't always right but most of the time he is. Smart lil man...


 

"If the child cannot learn in the way we teach...we must teach in the way the child can learn."reading

Macphee
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 11:43 AM

Angelia,

Yes. My son would want to hug some people, complete strangers. When kids don't have words, they can't say hi or whatever. This is the way they initiate. At a certain point, my son would even try to lick people that he liked. Reason: that's how his dog shows affection. So that is how he thought he showed that he likes someone. Some kids mirror animals or inappropriate behavior. Try to redirect or show another way of saying hi like a smile or high five.

When he finds the words, you'll see less strange gestures.

TheJerseyGirl
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:39 PM
Not hoste but definitely uncomfortable around certain people
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
angeliabell
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 3:15 PM


Wow!  Never considered this at all!  Great point...  :-)

Quoting Basherte:

My son does something like that. I learned that it was a certain voice... 

some people he will react to positively when he hears them speak. And others he wants nothing to do with. 

I know what kind of voice does this with my son, but it's easier to hear than to explain.

The liaison to the landlord (the one we used to have) had a voice that just rubbed my son the wrong way. She would come in the apartment and talk and my son would start crying. It's like the voice hurts his ears. 

SHe always sounded angry even when she was being nice.

He is still like that. He's 4 and nonverbal.



*Angelia Bell*

Basherte
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 3:22 PM

My son is very sensitive to sounds, lights...

It took me a little while to realize what it was. I sat down one day with my DH and went over the people that our son doesn't like, and realized that their voice is the only thing that they had in common. Very similiar pattern of speech and very similiar pitch, sound of voice. 

Also, for my son the deeper the male voice the more he doesn't like him either.  I think he has a little trouble hearing the very low sounds. But I'm not sure. He doesn't cry with men who have deep voices, but he doesn't go up to them, either. 


Quoting angeliabell:


Wow!  Never considered this at all!  Great point...  :-)

Quoting Basherte:

My son does something like that. I learned that it was a certain voice... 

some people he will react to positively when he hears them speak. And others he wants nothing to do with. 

I know what kind of voice does this with my son, but it's easier to hear than to explain.

The liaison to the landlord (the one we used to have) had a voice that just rubbed my son the wrong way. She would come in the apartment and talk and my son would start crying. It's like the voice hurts his ears. 

SHe always sounded angry even when she was being nice.

He is still like that. He's 4 and nonverbal.




CafeMom Tickers
angeliabell
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 3:24 PM


I thought of that but the cashier didn't have any scent or special smell, and the nurse never came close enough to him.  She was completely across the room.  I thought maybe he didn't care for the color she was wearing, which was blue, but another nurse wearing the same color scrubs was able to approach him and talk to him without him getting annoyed or upset.  *shrugging shoulders*.  Who knows!  I am just going to continue observing, maybe I'll figure it out eventually.  :-). Thanks everyone for your feedback!!  I'm so glad we have this forum to connect and support one another! 

Quoting JTMOM422:

Could it be maybe a sensory issues. Too much hairspray or perfume they were wearing. I haven't had this issue but that is all I can think it is.



*Angelia Bell*

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)