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venting

Posted by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 10:50 AM
  • 13 Replies

 

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Question: How often do you feel overwhelmed?

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Daily

Weekly

Monthly


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Total Votes: 21

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Fellow ASD moms,

We all know how much coordination we have to keep up with. My son has in school OT, ST and behavioral. At the same time, there is private ST, OT and ABA. Furthermore he sees a developmental pediatrician, neurologist, dermatologist, his primary pediatrician, a dentist and next week he has to see an endocrinologist. It is literally a full time job just to keep track of his medical and developmental needs.

On top of that my NT goes to preschool part-time in the mornings. He used to have karate two times a week, but he wants to train to compete in a tournament in two weeks. So his trainings are now four times a week. On top of this DH has to work 12 hour shifts during the night. His days change constantly. He has to sleep when he's home and can not be disturbed. So this is my week, Mondays-Thursdays, karate. Tuesdays & Thursdays private ST & OT. Wednesdays and Fridays, ABA. On top of this I am in my junior year studying business. Also, there is a dog, bird and a tank of fish to take care of. Housework is barely afloat.... but I am not stressing about that.

So... I forgot my son's OT evaluation was changed to Monday. It sucks when one appointment slips from my mind. What makes this even more difficult is that this OT that evaluates him only comes in the office 3 or 4 times a year. So I have the option of driving literally 1 1/2 hours southwest of where I live for him to be evaluated. He will have to skip school for the day, and NT son can't go to school because I do not have enough time to drop him, ASD son to be evaluated, and pick him back up.

No family near us to help really takes its toll.

thanks for listening.

by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 10:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
dawncs
by Dawn on Apr. 9, 2013 at 10:57 AM
1 mom liked this

I know it is rough right now. However, the amount of time you put into your disabled son's therapies will be well worth it in the end when it helps him reach his full potential in life. You are also doing the right thing for your nt son by allowing him to do karate and adding more practice, so he can do a tournament. By allowing your nt son to participate in karate and the tournament helps him lead a normal life somewhat, but it will help him be less resentful when he grows up of all the time you spent on his disabled brother. It can happen sometimes with a nt child in regards to a disabled child when one has time consuimg needs for the parent.

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

JTMOM422
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 11:21 AM
1 mom liked this

I know what you mean by overwhelming with appts. We had 4 yesterday. Speech OT early intervention plus ABA. Today was suppose to be ABA and a class on visuals for me. Tomorrow they are suppose to put in new doors. Don't think that is going to happen cause its suppose to storm and ABA. Thursday is ABA and aqua speech. Friday just ABA. Some weeks you add in doctor appts for his or his sister and me. Then when I have to bounce appointments around. My calendar looks like a pen exploded in it from all the scratch marks in it LOL

Macphee
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 11:31 AM

 JTMom,

LOL. My calendar looks like that often. I literally make myself schedule a pedicure or yoga on the calendar, so that I don't forget about myself. Its just crazy to me when friends and family ask when I'm going to have a third kid. My reply is sure, as soon as I am able to create 48 hours in one day instead of 24 hours. It has literally reached the point where I am sleeping less and forgetting to eat.

Then again, this is the reason they write songs about what moms will do for their kids.


Quoting JTMOM422:

I know what you mean by overwhelming with appts. We had 4 yesterday. Speech OT early intervention plus ABA. Today was suppose to be ABA and a class on visuals for me. Tomorrow they are suppose to put in new doors. Don't think that is going to happen cause its suppose to storm and ABA. Thursday is ABA and aqua speech. Friday just ABA. Some weeks you add in doctor appts for his or his sister and me. Then when I have to bounce appointments around. My calendar looks like a pen exploded in it from all the scratch marks in it LOL


 

Macphee
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 11:35 AM

 Dawn,

Thankyou for your reply. This is what I remind myself everytime I am on my way to yet another appointment. All the time and effort invested at a young age will help him so much when he is a teenager and eventually a man.

I worry all the time about my NT son resenting me or dh, as well as his brother. On the contrary, as his brother has caught up in language and is catching up socially, they are getting closer. I try to do something with him everyday where he is the center of my attention. I have had two conversations with him about his brother's autism and how I love them the same. He seems to understand. I also encourage him to express how he feels to me and his dad.

He is a really great kid and a great brother. Karate is his time to shine where he thrives. His coaches and teammates there are so supportive of him. I even see my ASD son mimicking his NT when he watches him train. The Universe definitely has a sense of humor.

Quoting dawncs:

I know it is rough right now. However, the amount of time you put into your disabled son's therapies will be well worth it in the end when it helps him reach his full potential in life. You are also doing the right thing for your nt son by allowing him to do karate and adding more practice, so he can do a tournament. By allowing your nt son to participate in karate and the tournament helps him lead a normal life somewhat, but it will help him be less resentful when he grows up of all the time you spent on his disabled brother. It can happen sometimes with a nt child in regards to a disabled child when one has time consuimg needs for the parent.


 

JTMOM422
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 11:59 AM

I don't write in anything for myself. I should do that now. It would have to be penciled in so I can constantly move it around LOL. 

Quoting Macphee:

 JTMom,

LOL. My calendar looks like that often. I literally make myself schedule a pedicure or yoga on the calendar, so that I don't forget about myself. Its just crazy to me when friends and family ask when I'm going to have a third kid. My reply is sure, as soon as I am able to create 48 hours in one day instead of 24 hours. It has literally reached the point where I am sleeping less and forgetting to eat.

Then again, this is the reason they write songs about what moms will do for their kids.


Quoting JTMOM422:

I know what you mean by overwhelming with appts. We had 4 yesterday. Speech OT early intervention plus ABA. Today was suppose to be ABA and a class on visuals for me. Tomorrow they are suppose to put in new doors. Don't think that is going to happen cause its suppose to storm and ABA. Thursday is ABA and aqua speech. Friday just ABA. Some weeks you add in doctor appts for his or his sister and me. Then when I have to bounce appointments around. My calendar looks like a pen exploded in it from all the scratch marks in it LOL




TheJerseyGirl
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:33 PM
Weekly for sure but not everyday
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Charizma77
by Carissa on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:06 PM


This but there was a time it was daily, hourly even..

Quoting TheJerseyGirl:

Weekly for sure but not everyday



MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:32 PM

Ugh. I can so relate.

Basherte
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:40 PM

*hugs*


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kajira
by Emma on Apr. 9, 2013 at 11:23 PM
I couldn't really answer, because when life is REALLY tough, I get mildly overwhelmed and need to lean on my spouse more... but I think the reason I don't get overwhelmed, is I have a very strong support structure in place and if I need help, my husband helps me and I know it's okay to ask him for help and I can rely and trust him to step in and keep stuff going when I need a break or some me time, or whatever else. When stuff is REALLY stressful, I get overwhelmed, but it's not like even a monthly thing, but I think it's because I have a good support system in place.
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