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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Left my IEP meeting in tears

Posted by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 8:39 PM
  • 38 Replies

I thought he was making so much progress this year, all of the feedback I was getting was positive. Then I went to the meeting and found out he is not making good progress on his social goals. The speech/language pathologist said that she recognized right away that the group of kids he has social skills with are below his level and that she thinks that they are not challenging him enough socially, so therefore he is only at 20-40 percent on his goal and the goal was 60-80 percent. I'm very disheartened and cried for quite awhle. But if she noticed it early in the year , why did she wait until now to say something? And why was the feedback that I got all year positive?


Does anyone else leave these meetings in tears?

by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 8:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
JTMOM422
by Brenda on Apr. 29, 2013 at 8:50 PM

Sounds like they weren't giving you real answers throughout the year. I would be upset. You expect to see the numbers reflect what they have been saying all year and they don't. HUGS momma. I really hope next year is better

Charizma77
by Carissa on Apr. 29, 2013 at 9:09 PM

Fortunately we have a really good team and I leave encouraged. His teacher always calls me if he is struggling with something and we figure it out before it gets worse. I'm sorry it was so discouraging. They definitely should have mentioned it to you sooner and I would bring that up with them.

newmom1313
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 10:06 PM
2 moms liked this

I conduct IEP meetings, and I'm sorry it was discouraging for you. They should have communicated this to you earlier on in the year. Stay on top of them now!!  Remember, you are your child's best advocate!!!!!!


mypbandj
by Jen on Apr. 29, 2013 at 10:29 PM
Aren't they supposed to give you quarterly progress notes?

Sorry you left so sad. It's hard. What are they going to do about it?
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Mewlan
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:21 AM

Ugh...honestly what is the matter with these people.

In elementary school for speech therapy my son was in a group with 2 other non-disabled children who were good social role models.  They were working on pronunciation types of issues while my son was working on social skill.  The ST did a great job with this and it helped my son so much to be with good social role models.  She had the kids play games or work on science experiments they were doing in class or class projects so my son could learn that kind of stuff.

The other thing they did when my son first tried out lunch at school.   He could not stand being in the lunch room he ate lunch in the resource room.  His classroom teacher had a voluntary sign up sheet for kids to eat lunch with my son every day...I think 2 kids at a time.  They would eat lunch together and then play games and such.  His aide was in the room if he needed help.  The signup sheet was always full...the kids liked to do something different at lunch time.  It was very successful.

You can put these ideas into an IEP.

It was wrong of them to give you this PLOP at the meeting so late in the school year.  I agree there should have been at least quarterly reports.  They need to fix this.

jeda1429
by Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:36 AM

Thanks guys, I guess I'm the most upset because I had been in contact with people throughout the year, and was told he was doing GREAT! I told everyone if they noticed him struggling or saw something we needed to work on to let me know. I always got he's a great kid! The teacher who has him three periods out of the day kept saying that he was handling middle school so well and that he was very social( appropriatley so) and how independant he was. I stopped in to see his social skills teachers at conferences to ask about issues and they said there were none.   I requested an iep update once this year and it was very vague, saying he had met several goals.    And then today..... They brought up all kinds of issues. And retracted some of the goals they had claimed he met. Not to mention they had already decided what to do with him next year and had no time to listen to what I had to say. The teacher in charge kept saying" moving right along" When I was trying to talk.

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Apr. 30, 2013 at 5:24 AM

Hugs mama!

mommaTLC186
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 8:06 AM

 Yes Ive left those meetings in tears...... March 20th I pulled my son out of public school and Im now homeschooling him. No more tears :)

sourpatchmom098
by Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 8:41 AM
1 mom liked this

 Oh i do not think so!!! i would not stand for that at all. what you have to say is just as, if not more important, than what they are saying. its supposed to be a team effort with parents and teachers working together to find the best approaches and solutions to goals and issues. is there anyone higher up that you can file a complaint with? or get a revamp on the i.e.p. if you dont agree with some of it? the people that work with my daughter are great, so i luckily havent had much problem with this, but i'd raise hell if i did


Quoting jeda1429:

Thanks guys, I guess I'm the most upset because I had been in contact with people throughout the year, and was told he was doing GREAT! I told everyone if they noticed him struggling or saw something we needed to work on to let me know. I always got he's a great kid! The teacher who has him three periods out of the day kept saying that he was handling middle school so well and that he was very social( appropriatley so) and how independant he was. I stopped in to see his social skills teachers at conferences to ask about issues and they said there were none.   I requested an iep update once this year and it was very vague, saying he had met several goals.    And then today..... They brought up all kinds of issues. And retracted some of the goals they had claimed he met. Not to mention they had already decided what to do with him next year and had no time to listen to what I had to say. The teacher in charge kept saying" moving right along" When I was trying to talk.


 

sharonbergman
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 8:48 AM

So heartbreaking.

Always. take someone with you to meetings, and have them take notes!  I am a Mom of two ASD kids who I homeschool.  I also professionally advocate for families as a psychologist at IEPS.  I wish I could say your experience was rare, but it is common.  This is the time of year the families get the news that their child has not been making it all year, after all these "good" reports.  I do not know if the teachers are just worn out by this time, or they start looking toward next year and realize a ton of kids are not making it 

Make your own goals for your kid as measure success your way and focus on that.  Put yourself in the driver's seat.  If parents took the school assessment of their child to heart and let that be the determining factor of success we would have lost a lot of great minds.  School dropout....Edison, Flunked two college entrances exams:  Einstein (needed accomodations),  kicked out of school and had to go to a boarding school:  Temple Grandin.  Your child is different NOT LESS, no matter what their percentages say! 

sharon bergman





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