Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

at my wits end and 2 in tears ( UPDATE IN BLUE)

Posted by on May. 2, 2013 at 9:58 PM
  • 11 Replies

My daughter who has aspergers and depression got upset with me tonight and put her fist up to punch me after she started arguing with me. We go through the emotional stuff every month usually at school. Tonight has been a bad night. She flipped out over me asking her a question, then later tonight she started bawling about a shirt i basically told her clean your room and you would find your clothes. Also you have to put clothes in so i can wash them. So she flipped out attacked me while bawling , then hurt her ankle and screamed bloody murder to make people think that i was abusing her :( I am over it tonight. I am the only one her to handle everything and it has been stressful. She is about to start her cycle and it gets bad around that time., They have her on abilify to help with her emotions but it is not working around that time. I cannot get her into the Gyno til next month to see if there is something else to do for her. Her Dr does not want to do it since she is having 2 cycles a month she would rather the gyno take a look at it. I agree just wish i could get her in. I am venting more then anything but i do not tolerate violence. I do not know what to do if she actually attacks me. I am afraid to defend myself because if i do then i feel it would be abuse. I am trying to get her back into counseling to. Help please her and i both are in tears tonight. She sat and hugged me tonight after it was all said and done. and cried in my arms.


update Marissa apparently had a issue at school yesterday to, and today she was being picked on, they went to tell her that she was going to be in ISS since the person who gives ISS was gone yesterday. She totally melted down screaming crying slamming doors. They thought they were going to have to restrain her but did not. They were going to send her home but really did not want to because after so many OSS you get sent to a different school, they are trying to work with her with only 20 days left. I went there and talked to her. I also talked to the counselor to watch her eyes. If they are really dark and you see no color then she could have a major melt down.

by on May. 2, 2013 at 9:58 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
takeitall13
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2013 at 10:09 PM

 HUGS, I am so sorry :(  I cannot imagine- I do not have experience with an older child yet but I know when my son flips like that it is extremely difficult :(  I don't know what i would do either- right now we basically straight jacket him in our arms if he gets violent until we can put him somewhere safe but hes still pretty small.....  :/   I think the therapy would help a lot too, i know it did wonders for me at that age <3  and I'm NT (i think LOL  I know I have sensory and now since finding that ds may have aspergers things are really clicking in place about how I was and still am, etc)   what worked for me was "blowing people up"  is that awful?  My therapist would have me write or say my problems and then scribble the crap out of them :D  writting letters helped too, in fact if i have stuff on my mind I still have to write it down or I wont be able to sleep because I will just keep going over it all night :/

KatyTylersMom
by on May. 2, 2013 at 10:37 PM

If she's having 2 periods a month then she may well have PCOS or some other hormonal issues that are literally driving her INSANE.  She needs help to get her hormones under control ASAP b/c only then can you see what else she might need, be it an antidepressant or mood stabilizer or what. 

Speaking as someone with PCOS the mood swings are INTENSE.  I can go from happy happy everything is fine to I WILL TEAR YOUR HEAD OFF RIGHT NOW in no time.  Then after I've taken off someone's head I feel terrible after I calm down - not a good feeling b/c then that leads to depression, thinking God am I just a Bad Person?  Who acts like that??? And I can imagine for a young girl how much harder that is b/c she doesn't even know HERSELF that well yet. 

What has helped me greatly control my own mood swings (and has helped my 4 year old PDD-NOS daughter as well) is St. John's Wort and 5-HTP.  I take mine morning and night, for my daughter it's morning NOON and night for the 5-HTP, just morning for the St. John's Wort.  It has made such a difference.  I no longer need an antidepressant (they worked, and man did it work well, but it leaves me feeling kind of ... fake... like my highs aren't as high and my lows are LOW but covered up somehow... hard to describe).  My daughter can deal with changes of routine, frustrations, not getting her way, sharing, and all the things that come with being 4 SO much better now that she's supplemented.  Such a difference for her and our family to not have to deal with freak outs, time outs CONSTANTLY, calming techniques CONSTANTLY with little success, and her being miserable and withdrawn b/c she is always in trouble and unhappy.  Now she's smiling, happy, in control of herself about 99% of the time (she's 4... meltdowns are gonna happen), and knows that she's a good girl who shares with her bubbie and is nice to her friends (her words). 

decembercherish
by on May. 2, 2013 at 10:46 PM


I have PCOS myself. She is on a abilify for mood and she also takes add medicine. I am worred about the 5 HTP after reading info on it and afraid of the dosage for her.

Quoting KatyTylersMom:

If she's having 2 periods a month then she may well have PCOS or some other hormonal issues that are literally driving her INSANE.  She needs help to get her hormones under control ASAP b/c only then can you see what else she might need, be it an antidepressant or mood stabilizer or what. 

Speaking as someone with PCOS the mood swings are INTENSE.  I can go from happy happy everything is fine to I WILL TEAR YOUR HEAD OFF RIGHT NOW in no time.  Then after I've taken off someone's head I feel terrible after I calm down - not a good feeling b/c then that leads to depression, thinking God am I just a Bad Person?  Who acts like that??? And I can imagine for a young girl how much harder that is b/c she doesn't even know HERSELF that well yet. 

What has helped me greatly control my own mood swings (and has helped my 4 year old PDD-NOS daughter as well) is St. John's Wort and 5-HTP.  I take mine morning and night, for my daughter it's morning NOON and night for the 5-HTP, just morning for the St. John's Wort.  It has made such a difference.  I no longer need an antidepressant (they worked, and man did it work well, but it leaves me feeling kind of ... fake... like my highs aren't as high and my lows are LOW but covered up somehow... hard to describe).  My daughter can deal with changes of routine, frustrations, not getting her way, sharing, and all the things that come with being 4 SO much better now that she's supplemented.  Such a difference for her and our family to not have to deal with freak outs, time outs CONSTANTLY, calming techniques CONSTANTLY with little success, and her being miserable and withdrawn b/c she is always in trouble and unhappy.  Now she's smiling, happy, in control of herself about 99% of the time (she's 4... meltdowns are gonna happen), and knows that she's a good girl who shares with her bubbie and is nice to her friends (her words). 



KatyTylersMom
by on May. 2, 2013 at 11:34 PM

5-HTP is a precursor to serotonin.  So it works similarly to an antidepressant in that it boosts available serotonin levels which improves mood.  If you are concerned about dosing then speak with a doctor.  With my daughter we started out with 50mg at night, and moved up from there.  Now she takes 200mg 3x a day.


Quoting decembercherish:


I have PCOS myself. She is on a abilify for mood and she also takes add medicine. I am worred about the 5 HTP after reading info on it and afraid of the dosage for her.

Quoting KatyTylersMom:

If she's having 2 periods a month then she may well have PCOS or some other hormonal issues that are literally driving her INSANE.  She needs help to get her hormones under control ASAP b/c only then can you see what else she might need, be it an antidepressant or mood stabilizer or what. 

Speaking as someone with PCOS the mood swings are INTENSE.  I can go from happy happy everything is fine to I WILL TEAR YOUR HEAD OFF RIGHT NOW in no time.  Then after I've taken off someone's head I feel terrible after I calm down - not a good feeling b/c then that leads to depression, thinking God am I just a Bad Person?  Who acts like that??? And I can imagine for a young girl how much harder that is b/c she doesn't even know HERSELF that well yet. 

What has helped me greatly control my own mood swings (and has helped my 4 year old PDD-NOS daughter as well) is St. John's Wort and 5-HTP.  I take mine morning and night, for my daughter it's morning NOON and night for the 5-HTP, just morning for the St. John's Wort.  It has made such a difference.  I no longer need an antidepressant (they worked, and man did it work well, but it leaves me feeling kind of ... fake... like my highs aren't as high and my lows are LOW but covered up somehow... hard to describe).  My daughter can deal with changes of routine, frustrations, not getting her way, sharing, and all the things that come with being 4 SO much better now that she's supplemented.  Such a difference for her and our family to not have to deal with freak outs, time outs CONSTANTLY, calming techniques CONSTANTLY with little success, and her being miserable and withdrawn b/c she is always in trouble and unhappy.  Now she's smiling, happy, in control of herself about 99% of the time (she's 4... meltdowns are gonna happen), and knows that she's a good girl who shares with her bubbie and is nice to her friends (her words). 





darbyakeep45
by Darby on May. 3, 2013 at 7:21 AM

Hugs mama!

JTMOM422
by Brenda on May. 3, 2013 at 9:26 PM

Hugs momma. Hope things get better for the 2 of you. Glad to hear the school is working with you guys. 

SarahLynn1985
by on May. 3, 2013 at 9:42 PM
She sounds like me 3 weeks outa the month. She may have pmdd. Thats what I was diagnosed with. But I hope things work out hun
takeitall13
by Bronze Member on May. 3, 2013 at 9:52 PM

 how awful!  So sorry that this is happening to your daughter :(

VioletsMomTown
by on May. 3, 2013 at 10:18 PM

Just saw this website yesterday about treating PCOS (link) there is a book that looks really helpful. Might be worth getting!

Violet's Mom

Twitter @autismnotebook

Bobcatridge
by Carol on May. 4, 2013 at 12:37 PM

I also have a 12 yr old daughter with aspergers, GAD, OCD, depression issues, and some sensory issues.  Periods and the week before are always a more emotional time.  Your daughter needs help with periods - two cycles a month would be bad for anyone and even worse for an autism spectrum child.  Therapy/counseling can really help but she also may need some medication from a psychiatrist especially if she has depression issues.  My daughter has 3 therapists (one works on phobias & anxiety, another social skills & depression, and the third does art therapy & teen girl therapy) and a pyschiatrist.  My daughter is on anti-anxiety medication and a mood stabilizer.  Even with all the therapy & the medication, my daughter still has difficult and over-emotional times.  We still end up in tears with her crying against me (usually after a complete meltdown).  So I can appreciate what you are going through.  It is so hard both for you and your daughter. 

We tried the 5-HTP and it caused vivid disturbing dreams in my daughter.  It really messed up her sleep pattern.  Once we stopped the 5-HTP the disturbing dreams went away.  We use melatonin to help to help her get to sleep.  Medication is a tricky thing.  My daughter has had problems with every anti-depressant that she has tried and we have tried quite a few.  My daughter went into a severe depression when she was 10 - the kind where she just curled up and cried constantly.  It was 4 months of pure hell - I think I cried as much as she did.  The medication mix she is presently using has taken over a year of tweaking and they are still tweaking.  Sometimes I think she is doing great and other times not so much.  We walk a fine line on the edge of depression.  Twelfe is a really difficult age and middle schoolers especailly girls are just generally mean.  School is generally hard.  I so hope you find the help your daughter needs.  My thoughts are with you.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN