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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Refuses to do school work at school and at home...

Posted by on May. 2, 2013 at 11:44 PM
  • 12 Replies
I have a 12 year old--very brilliant-highly functioning beautiful autistic son. He is refusing to do all work at school and at homework. It's too stressful. We are struggling with the teachers- administration- and at home. He is becoming increasingly aggressive. He also has been diagnosed with ADD- ODD- depression-- We are working on several different things...but I'm hanging on by a thread here and so is he! How do I help him helpl himself???
by on May. 2, 2013 at 11:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kajira
by Emma on May. 3, 2013 at 1:32 AM

Consider changing his school environment.

darbyakeep45
by Darby on May. 3, 2013 at 7:18 AM

Welcome to the group.  Hugs and good luck!

girl_incognito
by on May. 3, 2013 at 7:39 AM
1 mom liked this

This!

OP you just described my son at that age. I had to change his environment... actually had to send him to a different school

Anyhow it's not so much refusal as it is the demands placed upon him are too much. Because I don't think you son enjoys the consequences he may recieve because of the refusal

He needs shortened assignments and less homework, and those are things that the school can provide him. Does he have an IEP? I know you said he is extremely smart, mine is as well, but he needed an IEP

Quoting kajira:

Consider changing his school environment.


dawncs
by Dawn on May. 3, 2013 at 11:22 AM

Could he think that the schoolwork is boring or knows the material well at the moment? Tell him that he needs to complete his homework because it is a part of the grade. If there are incomplete assignments or zeros, it will affect his grade which could result in failing the course. How would he feel if he had to do this boring homework again because he had to repeat the grade due to his own choices? Remind him that it is teacher's and school's rules.

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

amonkeymom
by Amy on May. 3, 2013 at 1:03 PM

Good advice.  I need to remind my own son of this sometimes.

Quoting dawncs:

Could he think that the schoolwork is boring or knows the material well at the moment? Tell him that he needs to complete his homework because it is a part of the grade. If there are incomplete assignments or zeros, it will affect his grade which could result in failing the course. How would he feel if he had to do this boring homework again because he had to repeat the grade due to his own choices? Remind him that it is teacher's and school's rules.


SAMI_JO
by on May. 3, 2013 at 1:43 PM

 Honestly, I am in the exact same boat. We have been at it, to the point I am ready to put him in a group home that is strictly for autistic children. After a while they can come home on the weekends.

JTMOM422
by Brenda on May. 3, 2013 at 6:07 PM

I agree with Emma and Dawn. I think a change would be great and also talking to him about having to repeat everything. 

Mewlan
by on May. 4, 2013 at 12:36 AM

What is he saying to you:  it's too hard, it's too much work, it is meaningless etc.?

Starting in 6th grade it was just too much for my son who is also brilliant.  He did much better in highschool in a program geared toward job and community skills.  At age 12 the curriculum gets pretty abstract.  My son wanted real life skills.  Maybe that is what your son would like at this point. 

 

jthompson1976
by on May. 4, 2013 at 12:48 AM

sounds like he needs to be moved school have you ever thought about private school helped my son alot

elkmomma
by Member on May. 4, 2013 at 2:04 PM

Too many questions come to mind, mainly because that was my DS last year.   Have you tried CBT (cognitive behavior therapy)  with him?  If not, talk to his therapist about trying some of those methods...no guaranteethough.  Last year I spend many days in his class helping guide / coach him through the day or I came by and visited with him during lunch....those helped a lot to understand why he was acting like that.  The IEP teachers don't like surprise visits and I caught on to some of the simplest dumb ass things they were doing to initiate / encourage the negative behavior.  Follow your instincts and hopefully figure  out why he's acting this way.  In our case it had nothing to do with the work, it was all about the environment and teachers.

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