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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Child wanting to talk to my nonverbal child.

Posted by on May. 4, 2013 at 10:11 PM
  • 18 Replies
I took my 5 year old son who is nonverbal to my states' heritage park. While we were in line a 4 year old approached my son saying hi and asking him to be his friend.Naturally my son didn't even look at him. I told the boy my son's name. He kept asking if they could be friends. I thought I should tell the child that my son doesn't talk. But I didn't. I know I should have. If you were in this situation what would you say to the child wanting to talk to your nonverbal asd child?
by on May. 4, 2013 at 10:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mypbandj
by Jen on May. 4, 2013 at 10:22 PM

My kids do talk but not always to strangers so when someone is talking to them, whether its a child or adult, I usually answer for them - if they don't first say something themselves. 

Whats your name? I wait....then say, "Say, I'm Liam." 

Hi Liam! Are you having fun? I wait....then say, "Yes! We are having fun!" 

Sunnybrooke_MA
by on May. 4, 2013 at 10:30 PM
I do this as well. I have had to tell both children and adults that Nathan would love to talk, but we aren't there yet. People aren't as interested now that he is older... and that's fine. Of course I have said that about our other kids when they were young and just really shy!

Quoting mypbandj:

My kids do talk but not always to strangers so when someone is talking to them, whether its a child or adult, I usually answer for them - if they don't first say something themselves. 

Whats your name? I wait....then say, "Say, I'm Liam." 

Hi Liam! Are you having fun? I wait....then say, "Yes! We are having fun!" 

TheLadyAmalthea
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2013 at 10:32 PM
4 moms liked this

I tell the child that my son can't talk. No reason to keep the child thinking that my child hates them or something. I usually just keep the reason short and simple. Most kids accept it.

KatyTylersMom
by on May. 5, 2013 at 12:46 AM

This happens quite a lot at our parks where either my daughter (verbal but not socially 'with it') will randomly start talking AT another child who is looking at me like "OMG what is happening???" or a kid will talk to my son who will smile back or ignore said child but not speak b/c that's not his thing just yet.  Usually I'll just facilitate the interaction and either prompt my over enthusiastic daughter to dial it down and say her name, say hi, what's the other kids name, does he/she like w/e my daughter is talking about (generally Lightning McQueen or some other enjoyable topic) etc. or for my son just say "hey there, this is Tyler, he doesn't talk much yet but he really likes your Thomas the Train shirt" yadda yadda.  Then prompt Tyler to say 'hi' or "oh hey Tyler look at this cool thing" type of stuff. 

unusualmom
by on May. 5, 2013 at 5:58 AM
2 moms liked this

You need to tell other children that are interested in your child that he isnt able to talk.  I can just imagine how the child felt when your son didnt jump at the chance to be immediate friends.  I have a non verbal 11 year old so I get it.  

darbyakeep45
by Darby on May. 5, 2013 at 11:11 AM
1 mom liked this

I've had that kind of thing happen before.  I just tell the other child that my son doesn't talk.  The parent is usually around and I just explain that Brady is Autistic and doesn't talk.

Jenn8604
by on May. 5, 2013 at 11:16 AM
1 mom liked this
Tell kids your son doesn't talk. I'm sure she wondered why he didn't talk to her. Instead of letting her parents or other parents near by say your rude and uppity (because the child being disabled NEVER crosses their minds) explain simply he may or may not play with you because he can't talk. But you can try, then help with the playing.
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Hottubgodess
by Jackie on May. 5, 2013 at 11:56 AM
1 mom liked this

 Yes, tell him that your son doesnt talk.  :)  Education starts early.  :)  Otherwise, other kids will think your son is rude, when in actuality, your son takes it all in.  :) 

takeitall13
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2013 at 1:56 PM

 i would definately tell other kids that my son  doesn't talk that way their feelings dont get hurt- i was one of those kids where my feelings would get hurt over things like that.  love a lot of the other comments above too :)

JTMOM422
by Brenda on May. 5, 2013 at 1:57 PM

I would also explain that he is just shy and that is why he doesn't talk or play with other kids. If the child was older or an adult I would give a better explanation but since he was young shy would work

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