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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Tomorrow is the day....UPDATE

Posted by on May. 20, 2013 at 9:01 PM
  • 10 Replies

Liam has his formal medical evaluation tomorrow. I am anxious. I'm not really sure why. He already has his diagnosis from clinical observations by several therapists, nurses and child psychiatrists during his 4 weeks of treatment at a day treatment program. The psychologists who are going to be doing the testing, had us do an interview first. She took me in a separate room explaining that they may change the diagnosis after testing (It may not be ASD-she says a lot kids who get evaluated receive a different diagnosis after testing, or if it is, many of the symptoms he has that gave him an ADHD diagnosis can be explained by ASD and they may take that diagnosis away) and then asked me a million questions. Then, she went and talked with Liam and I together for about 30 mins. Then she looked at me and said, "I don't think we'll be changing the diagnosis." I am thankful for that at least (it was just hard enough getting the diagnosis-not that I'm thankful my kid has had difficulty with things). 


But, what I am really terrified is the cognitive evaluation. What if it comes back as something other than normal? I am worried that he might be really smart (I know every parent says that but I have 3 kids and Liam is different). I know that may sound ridiculous but it's hard enough trying to provide everything to help them reach their full potential when they are neurotypical, more challenging with ASD and what if their intelligence is different too? I don't have the resources to anymore for him. And I'm worried that if his IQ is high then people will understand him even less. And how am I going to be able to help him academically? I am worried that I can't do that adequately. And I don't know how I would get him what he needs to reach his full potential.


Hopefully, I am just anxious and there is no reason for my fears. That everything will come back average. I KNOW he has ASD and social skills are a challenge for him. I KNOW that these things will not change. THAT in itself is a hard thing to accept but I have. The funny thing is that I never really thought it was important. What always scared me was his intelligence. And now, tomorrow, I will know for sure.


Sorry ladies,  I know it doesn't seem like something I should worry about. But I'm just anxious. Thank you for listening!


Well, the good news is that the testing went well. He did score Superior on much of the IQ test-blocks, budilding and design were his highest marks. He also tested Superior on vocabulary but average on comprehension and average on a few other things (I will get the formal report in the mail in 4-6 wks). They also said that even though he scored this way now, t won't give any determination how he will score when he's 10 yrs old. So, since when it's average or above, they don't pay attention to it. However, they did say that he will most likely qualify for Gifted classes as well as Special Education classes. If he went to public school and wasn't in an inclusion classroom, if he participated in both, when would he ever be in regular class anyways? I stated that I wanted to keep him in an ASD school, or at least a school with other kids that have other learning disabilities (ADHD, Dyslexia, etc.) for at least another year or two. Eventually, I want him to go back to a public school but I don't think he's ready yet. They agreed with me but really though it would be wise to try to get him services through the public school system even though our military insurance covers everything.

He was medically screened for Speech Therapy already and it was found that the ST didn't think that he needed it but the Child Psychiatrist/Psychologist group that conducted the evaluation are recommending Liam have it for learning social prompts, etc. They are also happy with Liam receiving OT and his therapy with the psychologist and continuing his medications through the psychiatrist. So, everything turned-out okay and if he "stays extra smart" by the time he is 10 yrs. old then that is the time I need to worry about it. I will still do all of what I normally do for him (we do academic activities at home too-I am a scientist, science is everywhere) and just focus on getting him the help he needs with his social skills, as I have been these past 4 months. The psychiatrist pointed-out that he has these questions that are 3 levels above where someone elses interests are. It's hard to explain (I know you ladies understand) but basically, because he doesn't care in the right fashion about your interest or understanding or what he is talking about, it makes it difficult for him to get accross his ideas to you. We will keep on working-he has already made a LOT of progress!!!  :)

by on May. 20, 2013 at 9:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KatyTylersMom
by Silver Member on May. 20, 2013 at 9:12 PM
1 mom liked this

I read an article talking about what trait was prized most in different countries when talking about their children.  In the US it was intelligence plain and simple.  If your kid is smart, preferably smarter than everyone else's kid, then you had the proudest parents.  Also multiple studies have shown that if teachers are told a student is exceptional (generally the teachers were told the student(s) were extremely bright)  then they SEE that student as exceptional and encourage them more and those kids end up performing better - even when they were no different than the other kids in the class. 

So take that knowledge and use it to your (and your son's) advantage - if he comes out as off the charts smart in IQ testing then his teachers will likely see that as a good thing and that may change their attitudes towards things like his obsessions - before it was weird, now it's an expression of his genius ya know? Whether you can keep up with him academically is not the issue - it's whether you can help him explore what interests him academically while keeping him balanced socially.  It is not your job to know more than your kid about everything, it is your job to encourage your kid in things that interest him while also making sure he doesn't spend all day on the computer or reading a book:) 

And while yes, people of average intelligence may not be able to understand the things that interest your son, or even what he's talking about, there will be people who understand him PERFECTLY.  Likely they will be working in academia and have more than a touch of ASD themselves, but they will be great role models and mentors for your kid.  And there is nothing that says that you can't help him get in touch with professors at local universities (or not-so-local ones via email) to talk about his interests and help him get encouragement and guidance. 

It's ironic because I think that many parents of ASD kids are more afraid that their kids will be below average intelligence (at least how we measure it here in the US).  Whereas in Italy I believe, a compliant child was the most prized character trait and intelligence was far down on the list.  Ah culture.

MommaHubbard
by on May. 20, 2013 at 9:54 PM

Thank you for your encouragement!

Charizma77
by Carissa on May. 20, 2013 at 10:15 PM
1 mom liked this

It's normal to think about these things and you sound a lot like me, I think so much about everything and stress myself out. Nothing you can do until you find out the results. Try to stay calm and not worry! Hugs!

MommaHubbard
by on May. 20, 2013 at 11:28 PM

Thank you! I will keep you guys posted!!!

MommaHubbard
by on May. 20, 2013 at 11:37 PM

These are all really good points and ideas. I just finished my degree (FINALLY!!!) in Geology with a minor in Biology. I can answer some of his questions but some things would take 20 yrs of science lessons to be able to fully answer the way he'd like them answered. It poses an honest problem. My boyfriend is a research scientist who may be able to give Liam some of the answers he craves-Harry (boyfriend) is used to explaining things. We are moving to Austin in a few weeks (moving in with him) and maybe I can find the right places to let his mind go where it needs to there!

Thank you for all your input. In one of my college classes there was an 11 yr old girl and her mother was waiting outside the classroom after every class with a book for parents of gifted children. She always looked terrified. I think I would be too!


Quoting KatyTylersMom:

I read an article talking about what trait was prized most in different countries when talking about their children.  In the US it was intelligence plain and simple.  If your kid is smart, preferably smarter than everyone else's kid, then you had the proudest parents.  Also multiple studies have shown that if teachers are told a student is exceptional (generally the teachers were told the student(s) were extremely bright)  then they SEE that student as exceptional and encourage them more and those kids end up performing better - even when they were no different than the other kids in the class. 

So take that knowledge and use it to your (and your son's) advantage - if he comes out as off the charts smart in IQ testing then his teachers will likely see that as a good thing and that may change their attitudes towards things like his obsessions - before it was weird, now it's an expression of his genius ya know? Whether you can keep up with him academically is not the issue - it's whether you can help him explore what interests him academically while keeping him balanced socially.  It is not your job to know more than your kid about everything, it is your job to encourage your kid in things that interest him while also making sure he doesn't spend all day on the computer or reading a book:) 

And while yes, people of average intelligence may not be able to understand the things that interest your son, or even what he's talking about, there will be people who understand him PERFECTLY.  Likely they will be working in academia and have more than a touch of ASD themselves, but they will be great role models and mentors for your kid.  And there is nothing that says that you can't help him get in touch with professors at local universities (or not-so-local ones via email) to talk about his interests and help him get encouragement and guidance. 

It's ironic because I think that many parents of ASD kids are more afraid that their kids will be below average intelligence (at least how we measure it here in the US).  Whereas in Italy I believe, a compliant child was the most prized character trait and intelligence was far down on the list.  Ah culture.



mypbandj
by Jen on May. 20, 2013 at 11:38 PM
1 mom liked this
My sons intelligence is what kept me from seeking help or noticing delays in other areas. He was just so darn smart! And yeah, I was a super proud mom. :)

Well, he's 15 now and still super smart. It hasn't been hard to help him reach his potential because he just does it on his own. He seeks out knowledge and he just absorbs it. It has always made visiting museums or whatever fun because he could understand and learn new concepts with minimal exposure.
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KatyTylersMom
by Silver Member on May. 21, 2013 at 12:14 AM

Austin is a great city with several large universities there.  Get him library access in w/e fields interest him and let him find his own answers:)  Just don't get caught with the pay-to-read research articles and have a 9,000 dollar credit card bill:P


Quoting MommaHubbard:

These are all really good points and ideas. I just finished my degree (FINALLY!!!) in Geology with a minor in Biology. I can answer some of his questions but some things would take 20 yrs of science lessons to be able to fully answer the way he'd like them answered. It poses an honest problem. My boyfriend is a research scientist who may be able to give Liam some of the answers he craves-Harry (boyfriend) is used to explaining things. We are moving to Austin in a few weeks (moving in with him) and maybe I can find the right places to let his mind go where it needs to there!

Thank you for all your input. In one of my college classes there was an 11 yr old girl and her mother was waiting outside the classroom after every class with a book for parents of gifted children. She always looked terrified. I think I would be too!


Quoting KatyTylersMom:

I read an article talking about what trait was prized most in different countries when talking about their children.  In the US it was intelligence plain and simple.  If your kid is smart, preferably smarter than everyone else's kid, then you had the proudest parents.  Also multiple studies have shown that if teachers are told a student is exceptional (generally the teachers were told the student(s) were extremely bright)  then they SEE that student as exceptional and encourage them more and those kids end up performing better - even when they were no different than the other kids in the class. 

So take that knowledge and use it to your (and your son's) advantage - if he comes out as off the charts smart in IQ testing then his teachers will likely see that as a good thing and that may change their attitudes towards things like his obsessions - before it was weird, now it's an expression of his genius ya know? Whether you can keep up with him academically is not the issue - it's whether you can help him explore what interests him academically while keeping him balanced socially.  It is not your job to know more than your kid about everything, it is your job to encourage your kid in things that interest him while also making sure he doesn't spend all day on the computer or reading a book:) 

And while yes, people of average intelligence may not be able to understand the things that interest your son, or even what he's talking about, there will be people who understand him PERFECTLY.  Likely they will be working in academia and have more than a touch of ASD themselves, but they will be great role models and mentors for your kid.  And there is nothing that says that you can't help him get in touch with professors at local universities (or not-so-local ones via email) to talk about his interests and help him get encouragement and guidance. 

It's ironic because I think that many parents of ASD kids are more afraid that their kids will be below average intelligence (at least how we measure it here in the US).  Whereas in Italy I believe, a compliant child was the most prized character trait and intelligence was far down on the list.  Ah culture.





darbyakeep45
by Darby on May. 21, 2013 at 5:26 AM
1 mom liked this

Hugs and good luck mama!

MommaHubbard
by on May. 21, 2013 at 9:07 PM

Thank you ladies for your support!!!

you rock

maciymommieof3
by on May. 21, 2013 at 9:09 PM

ditto


Quoting darbyakeep45:

Hugs and good luck mama!


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