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Don't apologize for my kids!!

Posted by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 8:01 PM
  • 16 Replies

 I was out looking for a specific iron supplement and was talking to the cashier at gnc about my kids, and mentioned I had two on the spectrum.  She got very apologetic about how difficult it must be, and I responded with 'you are used to the way your own kids are,' (meaning generally, not directed at her, but you adapt to how your children are, and I don't think I have any special ability to handle what another parent considers difficult-most parents would do anything for their kids).  Anyways, she just kept arguing the point, like she had to convince me that my life is difficult.  "Life is hard enough without having to cope with something like that," is along the lines of what she said after I made my statement.  She was trying to be nice, but really?  I mean, yeah, we have bad days, but so does everyone else.  Each child has their own challenges and strengths.  I'm not going to be a martyr.  There are people who have it tougher than I do.  I have friends that just lost their 10 year old to a very nasty type of cancer.  I have another friend whose son had a seizure at 2 weeks old, is autistic and non verbal at 4.  He had to have feeding therapy and wasn't even walking at 2.  I certainly have no room to complain.  I adore my kids and wouldn't change them for the world!

by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 8:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
girl_incognito
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 8:41 PM

I don't like it when people do that either. I'm nothing special ya know?

maciymommieof3
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 8:53 PM
1 mom liked this

Sometimes people don't know if they should react or go about normal business....there are so many different stories about 'special needs' not getting what they deserve or being abused etc...they only know what they see on TV....sounds to me she was trying to be "empathetic" and not "sympathetic....  but then again I work in the wonderful world of retail and know how associates get trained.   Im just sayin

Momof4AEMW
by Platinum Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 8:54 PM

Agree 100 percent.  Don't tell me you're sorry; I'm not.

maciymommieof3
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 8:54 PM

empathy

Quoting Momof4AEMW:

Agree 100 percent.  Don't tell me you're sorry; I'm not.


lhiannan
by Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 8:59 PM
1 mom liked this

 I get that.  But when I tell her that I'm used to *my* kids, she keeps going with how life is hard enough, like my kids are a burden.  If I tell you we're fine, don't argue with me about it, kwim?  Sometimes, I think people don't realize how they come across.  It really wasn't the initial apology that put me off, but her going on about it after I said what I did.

Quoting maciymommieof3:

Sometimes people don't know if they should react or go about normal business....there are so many different stories about 'special needs' not getting what they deserve or being abused etc...they only know what they see on TV....sounds to me she was trying to be "empathetic" and not "sympathetic....  but then again I work in the wonderful world of retail and know how associates get trained.   Im just sayin

 

maciymommieof3
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 9:09 PM

I understand...but just like you say..... she may not have know how she came across.... I tend to give people credit for "trying to be thoughtful" (even if they go overboard...b/c I know my kids sure do b/c they don't get it)...     vs       someone who is unengaged and not listening and just there to collect a paycheck and worried more about themself than the customer.

Quoting lhiannan:

 I get that.  But when I tell her that I'm used to *my* kids, she keeps going with how life is hard enough, like my kids are a burden.  If I tell you we're fine, don't argue with me about it, kwim?  Sometimes, I think people don't realize how they come across.  It really wasn't the initial apology that put me off, but her going on about it after I said what I did.

Quoting maciymommieof3:

Sometimes people don't know if they should react or go about normal business....there are so many different stories about 'special needs' not getting what they deserve or being abused etc...they only know what they see on TV....sounds to me she was trying to be "empathetic" and not "sympathetic....  but then again I work in the wonderful world of retail and know how associates get trained.   Im just sayin

 


mypbandj
by Jen on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:20 PM
2 moms liked this
People are crazy and I'm rarely surprised anymore when I hear about the stupid things they do or say.

I usually just smile and nod and move on.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
maciymommieof3
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:45 PM

it takes all kinds......


and all of us have different expectations of people's behaviors.. I so understand... 

Quoting mypbandj:

People are crazy and I'm rarely surprised anymore when I hear about the stupid things they do or say.

I usually just smile and nod and move on.


darbyakeep45
by Darby on Jun. 18, 2013 at 5:51 AM

This is primarily why I don't discuss my son with strangers...I usually end up offended, hurt, or just plain angry.  Most of the time I just smile and go on.  Or I just give them a vague answer to their question...

busymommy98
by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 8:21 AM

How ignorant of her. I have said it before in here and I will say it again, our children are so precious and it is just too bad for the ones who say stupid things; they have no idea how precious our ASD children are. I love my son with everything in me, even on his bad days. Know why? Because the sweet moments make up for EVERYTHING. Really. My son is sooo affectionate, kisses my cheeks and eyelids when I am close to his face. I wouldn't change his uniqueness for the world. A friend of mine, who's little girl isn't on the spectrum, made the comment that I am so lucky to have such a sweet, special little boy, directly from God Himself. How true is that? That kind comment almost made me cry. He is right, and his kindness is the main reason he is one of my best friends. I am lucky to have friends that don't judge and love us for who we are. Ignore the ones who cut us down, they don't understand, never will. Our children are ours and no one else can appreciate them like we do. Hugs...

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