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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

What do you wish people with "typically" developing kids could understand about your life parenting a child with autism?

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What do you wish people with "typically" developing kids could understand about your life parenting a child with autism?

by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 11:26 AM
Replies (51-54):
sunshinezel1245
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:22 PM
1 mom liked this

I answer this question everday when I am approached with answers from family members who do not live with autism on a day to day basis. They seem to have all of the answers, and the one they come up with the most is that we are just spoiling my son by allowing him to do things that "normally" shouldn't be allowed. For instance, my son is five and still wears pampers. My non-autistic-experienced family is quick to say that I should force my son to go to the bathroom. In my opinion, it will only create a setback for my son, and perhaps tramitize him which could delay the entire process even more. They all talk and seem to have all of the answers, but none of them really understand what it is like to see my son struggle to understand and try to achieve all that is expected of him. He loves to be praised, but there are just some things that he cannot accomplish yet but we still praise his efforts. Patience and perseverence are a daily requirement when raising a child with any disability.

Thanks for creating this post, it really helped me to vent a little!

yourdoingwhat
by Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:32 PM

That he's not spoiled and doesn't need his ass beat! (had that happen in a store once. I asked her if she got one thing she wanted for christmas and she huffed and said yes, I said come here let me beat your ass you spoiled bitch! Yeah, rude I know but maybe she'll think before she speaks!)

sunshinezel1245
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:37 PM

I can identify with you and your daily experiences. I too have four grown children who are not autistic. My youngest son is five and is my only child at home and he is autistic. Like your six year old, my son is not potty trained yet. It is definitely a task that we deal with on a daily basis. There is far more to it though than just not using the toilet, there are problems with constipation and the uncertainty of a regular schedule for him since we cannot determine when he will become constipated or when his bowels will be regular. He will use the bathroom to pee, but never to poop. This has to be done with a pamper on, standing up, and away from everyone. Other people who don't have the experience of raising an autistic child seem to have all of the answers and are quick to tell me what I should be doing and how I should be physically disciplining my son. My son does not have a behavior problem, he is autistic and cannot communicate his wants, needs, or feelings that well. He has a receptive and an expressive language disorder that we are utilizing therapy for. This is also a process and results may take us two steps up then three steps back. I love my son and will walk this walk with him for the rest of my life. I will not falter in my research of helping him accordng to his wants and needs as each child with autism is unique in his or her own way. I will help him to excel in areas where he shows interest and I will help him to explore the possibility of new likes and interests as each day approaches.

sunshinezel1245
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:45 PM

Good for you! I have only just learned of my son's diagnosis of autism in October 2012, so this is all new for me. I do know that I am tired of hearing all of the other peoples answers to how I should be raising my son and what he should be doing by this age. I am not a rude person and I bite my tongue far too much. I am reaching the point where I want to tell everyone to stop giving their opinions because they really don't know what I experience everyday, but even more, what my son experiences everyday.

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