Thinking about adding to the family...PLEASE help!
Hi there, I'm wanting to connect with other mothers who have children with autism. In the small town where we live I don't know any other moms with children on the spectrum. I have a precious little boy who will be 3 in December and was officially diagnosed with autism about 8 months ago. He doesn't have fragile x syndrome, but he also has a chromosomal disorder that we are still waiting on to find out more about; specifically. We had known long before though, and had already had him in several different therapies. We have ups and downs, but he is one amazing, beautiful soul.
He is in intensive early intervention and has therapies every day of the week and I put in around 30 hours weekly with me alone working with him. He is non verbal, but is such a determined little boy! He can 'say' mama, papa, and ball(his obsession!) As of right now they are just sounds to him, except ball, but I sure love hearing that sweet voice! I started using sign language with him when he was just an infant and that has helped a lot with the communication barrier. I stay at home with him so that I can make sure he gets as much as possible, I refuse to see anything but a bright and independent future for him. That being said, his daddy works two jobs and is gone from early morning until well past little man's bedtime, so it's just me with our son everyday. Needless to say, as much as I adore and love him, I get extremely overwhelmed sometimes. A lot, actually.
Here's what has been on my mind and I'm hoping to get some advice and experience from you other moms! My boyfriend wants us to have another baby. I'm on the fence about it. I personally would love to have another baby. With Bk, I didn't get to relax and enjoy the newborn and infant stage due to problems with the in-laws. So I would love to be able to experience it again and be able to enjoy it. But at the same time, I am scared of taking away precious time from our son. He is extremely attached to me so how would he handle sharing? He has always done pretty well whenever I've held another baby or played with another child, but this would be very different. Then there's the thought of would it be fair to the other sibling? Would it feel like it was getting pushed aside, so to speak, because of the extra attention our son would always need? And then what if the new baby was on the spectrum as well? I wonder how I could, or would be able to handle it. I mean, of course I would; but still...
I would really love and appreciate hearing from some mothers that have multiple children on or off, or both, on the spectrum and your experience. How do the children handle it, more importantly.
Thanks in advance!