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Anyone the victim of a sociopathic narcissicist in the family?

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:24 PM
  • 11 Replies

Could it be that Aspie/Autie men fall prey to glibbly charming women? They say that in Silicon Valley that this population seem to find each other which leads to assortive mating but can a case be made for when opposites attract? Could in these particular situations, such women in effect be the refrigerator moms first noted by Kanner and then Bettelheim, to children with innate problems that make it harder to defend themselves. Not saying that these mothers cause autism but that their children do not have the better outcomes of those with attentive loving moms. Just wondering if anybody sees my point of view here?

by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
JTMOM422
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:29 PM
1 mom liked this

I am not really understanding the point you are trying to make. 

SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:35 PM
Hmmmm, i dont think im understanding what your asking. Can you please elaborate for me?

Cause what im getting ( and i think im misunderstanding) is thst my engineer hubby married me ( a glibly charming narcissist refridge mom) to make our Aspie son ( who will turn out ok).

Or is my sociopathic narcissistic mom who married my science teacher dad responsible for my outcome as a charming well educated empathetic, caring, hard working, successful mom and member of society?

Again, i think I'm misunderstanding and am confused.
JTMOM422
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:44 PM
2 moms liked this

I am glad I wasn't the only one to not understand this. 

I was trying to figure out the same thing.  

Quoting SamMom912:

Hmmmm, i dont think im understanding what your asking. Can you please elaborate for me?

Cause what im getting ( and i think im misunderstanding) is thst my engineer hubby married me ( a glibly charming narcissist refridge mom) to make our Aspie son ( who will turn out ok).

Or is my sociopathic narcissistic mom who married my science teacher dad responsible for my outcome as a charming well educated empathetic, caring, hard working, successful mom and member of society?

Again, i think I'm misunderstanding and am confused.


kajira
by Emma on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:37 PM
what does this have to do with autism? What I believe is that if you look at a lot of the moms - it's that many of us are ALSO AUTISTIC OURSELVES and trying to raise children who we didn't realize were autistic, because we'd see stuff and go "that seems normal to me." when it was really a redflag that our child was "not normal." many of us are diagnosed as adults, generally and often because when people finally point out what makes someone autistic, we go "holy crap... we have all these traits too and I never thought about it before." So no - and as someone who's been accused of being a refrigerator mom by someone in their 70's (my mom in law) simply because she can't relate to me, read me, or understand me and I had no desire to bond with her the way I do my children or spouse... you have no idea what a mom is actually like if you don't live with her.
kajira
by Emma on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:38 PM

p.s. women can be autistic too. My husband normal, I'm the autistic/geeky/nerdy one in our relationship.

this thread made me face palm so hard.

ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:53 PM

My brother in law is a narcissist and the woman he has a child with is a recovered drug addict ....... and their daughter is NT.  She certainly isn't being raised in an ideal situation and she's developed quite normally considering .... I think she just may become narcissistic herself because basically all her grandparents raise her and they make everything about her.

autiovisual
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 8:48 AM

Is that a pic of you geeky nerdy one. You are absolutely gorgeous. lol. I get what you say, just wish you understood where I'm coming from. 

smarieljlee
by Sara on Jul. 17, 2013 at 9:13 AM

I agree wholeheartedly with Emma.  I am extremely affectionate and loving with my children.  Just hella quirky. lol

momtoscott
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 9:29 AM

The refrigerator mother theory of autism has been discredited for a long time and doesn't deserve to be revived.   I do not agree with the POV you are expressing here.  

mypbandj
by Jen on Jul. 17, 2013 at 9:38 AM
The whole ideas of refridgerator mothers makes me angry. Autism is not a psychological problem.
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