Is this typical with kids on the Spectrum?
So my dd is 11, last year, under the old DSM, she was diagnosed with PDD:NOS. Now so you understand why she got that diagnoses, here's what happened. The testing that was done showed that she scored in all areas, but one. Because of that "One" area, the girl refused to give her an Autistic Diagnoses.
She stated the area that ruled her out was that instead of repealing social intereaction, she craved it and since she, had "friends" (she really doesn't have a lot and she looses them faster then she can keep them) she didn't qualify for an Autistic Diagnoses. Well I disagree with that, because, yes she craves social interaction, the problem is, she doesn't know how to act or respond in a social interaction. Which is why she loses more friends then she really has. So that's why she got the PDD diagnoses.
Now since then she has inherited other disabilites: Mood Disorder: NOS, Intellectual Disability, ADHD, SLD (we need to get more clarification on this one, the ADHD and Communication) and Communication Disorder. As you can see she has a lot on her plate. She also tested between 4 years and 6 years of age in her Adaptive Behavioral Testing, though processing wise she is clearly at a 4 or younger.
My question is...my dd seems stuck. She gets along well with kids younger then her, around 4 years of age and up. She struggles with relationships with those of her age, in a big way. She is clearly younger mentally, then she really is, BUT...she tries so hard to be 11. She wants me to treat her like such and I do, for the most part. But she can never really hold that level of maturity for long, before she's back to acting like that 3/4 year old.
So do other parents see this problem? Does your kid have a desire to be "older" and treated as their biological age states? But always falls back into that younger age because of their mental age? She does this automatically, we could be having a great convo and then bam she is right back to that 4 year old mental age.
I see it as a war within her all the time. She wants to be older, but her actions and her behavior and her mental behavior is much younger. I know it must frustrate her horribly, but I don't know how to handle this with her. Lord knows I'm frustrated.
I give her responsibilities that an 11 year old should have, but I have to modify them to help her accomplish them. She can go to her friends house and play, but when they want to ride bikes to the friends dad's house down the road and in whole other neighborhood, she can't go without an adult. She gets mad at me for it because even her friend, who is a year or two younger then her, can do this without an adult.
I feel like we are stuck in a never ending tug of war with her in that regard. So I'm wondering if there is anyone else who experienecs this and how do you handle it?
We are, essentially, still very new to all these diagnoses and some of them have just recently come about in the last month or two.
Thanks for your help a head of time!