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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Going insane

Posted by on Jul. 27, 2013 at 10:50 PM
  • 20 Replies
I feel like I am going insane. I want to walk away from my family and everything I have built just to get a break. I am in trouble and I don't know what to do.
by on Jul. 27, 2013 at 10:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Macphee
by Silver Member on Jul. 27, 2013 at 11:02 PM

Hugs Hippocat,

Give yourself a day to walk away and do something for yourself. It is normal to reach a limit. You are super mom, I'm sure. but the hardest thing for us moms is to allow ourselves to be human and feel negative emotion. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs.

I have put a movie on for my boys, gone in my room and cried for 2 hours before, just to get it out. I find that doing yoga 2x weekly, music, feel good movies help a lot.

HippoCat
by Hadley on Jul. 27, 2013 at 11:27 PM
Thank you. I stormed out of the house and I am sitting in a parking lot trying to figure out what to do. Maybe a nice dinner at a restaurant is in order:) just don't plan on going home anytime soon. Being alone is hard sometimes now- I feel like I have a nervous tick in my brain about my son all the time and I can't relax. I'm trying to figure out how to take more time for myself but somehow it never happens. Seeing that you replied to me calmed me down instantly. Thank you for your support and being a friend.


Quoting Macphee:

Hugs Hippocat,


Give yourself a day to walk away and do something for yourself. It is normal to reach a limit. You are super mom, I'm sure. but the hardest thing for us moms is to allow ourselves to be human and feel negative emotion. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs.


I have put a movie on for my boys, gone in my room and cried for 2 hours before, just to get it out. I find that doing yoga 2x weekly, music, feel good movies help a lot.


KatyTylersMom
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 4:29 AM

It's ok to need breaks.  And it's ok to not think about autism or your family for a while too.  I read books, watch movies, and crochet to take my mind off things but I understand what you mean with a part of your brain always being on "autism watch 2013" and thinking about your kiddo.  It's particularly hard when things are changing like I think you mentioned in another post that your son may start EI preschool - and that's tough for many reasons.  Tough because special education kind of drives home the fact that our kids are VERY different from other kids.  That they need much more and may always need that extra help.  IEPs are scary, the public schools can be scary, and just the general unknown and starting something new can be scary and overwhelming. 

So take that time to just sit and feel normal for a bit.  We all need to remember who we were before kids and when those kids have special needs it can be even harder to feel like our old selves. 

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Jul. 28, 2013 at 7:29 AM

Big hugs mama!  Hope you were able to have some time to yourself last night:)

amonkeymom
by Amy on Jul. 28, 2013 at 1:37 PM

Deep breath.  It's ok to take  break once in a while, it makes it easier to cope when you come back.

johnns
by Johnna on Jul. 28, 2013 at 2:31 PM
Very well put!


Quoting KatyTylersMom:

It's ok to need breaks.  And it's ok to not think about autism or your family for a while too.  I read books, watch movies, and crochet to take my mind off things but I understand what you mean with a part of your brain always being on "autism watch 2013" and thinking about your kiddo.  It's particularly hard when things are changing like I think you mentioned in another post that your son may start EI preschool - and that's tough for many reasons.  Tough because special education kind of drives home the fact that our kids are VERY different from other kids.  That they need much more and may always need that extra help.  IEPs are scary, the public schools can be scary, and just the general unknown and starting something new can be scary and overwhelming. 

So take that time to just sit and feel normal for a bit.  We all need to remember who we were before kids and when those kids have special needs it can be even harder to feel like our old selves. 


SamMom912
by Gold Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 2:39 PM
Much like your asd kid, you have limits.. Good to know when you get stressed- your a runner. Im a yeller- lol.. ( sometimes a curser!) ha!
We r all human.
Much like we teach our kids- when you're having a hard time, you don't think clearly, your stressed, take a time out ( they aren't punishment for them or us---) and do what u need to replenish.
DS likes the ipad, i like to play golf, dh he likes to fish. Dh has it hard though-- he works a lot, then he comes home to sometimes a stressed out place--- with little down time.
Work- they take
At home- our asd kids take-- and theres no replenishment.
Try to find a better balance for yourself. Hugs!
lucasmadre
by Kari on Jul. 28, 2013 at 3:07 PM
1 mom liked this

I have been there, right where you are now. Take a deep breath and make a plan. If you have the resources call in your support and take a few days alone in a hotel room watching tv and ordering room service. If not find another way to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. The whole ship goes down without the captain :) I know you are hurting right now but all it really means is that your body and mind are telling you that you haven't been taking care of the most important person...you.

The hardest part for me was learning to put my oxygen mask on first like they say on the airplane, if you aren't well how can you help your kids?

I am so sorry that you are where you are but know it is a chance to make a change for the better. Even if you are a single mom like me with a lot of pressure and worries you can still find a little time each day to take care of yourself. Keep posting and let us know what we can do to help.  XO 

lady_katie
by Silver Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 3:16 PM

*hugs* hope you're feeling better. I found that I had little choice but to scrape together any extra money that we had and pay out of pocket for regular respite care. I feel a lot better now, and I'm able to see things much more clearly. 

specmom2
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 3:22 PM

What kind of trouble are you in? I know I have felt like that sometimes. There is support in your area I am sure. I would do an internet search. In southern ca for example, we have Regional Center that can give you some good places to find support. It IS hard. YOU do need a break and if you need help to actively seek some face to face support I can help. I am very good at finding resources. I have been a single mom of two for a long time and it is hard. I can help you find suppport. I just have to know what area you live in and go from there. In the meantime, I will keep you in prayer.

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