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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

off the rails....

Posted by on Aug. 5, 2013 at 6:58 AM
  • 9 Replies

The last two weeks have been super stressful for me. I have been preoccupied with the adult world and haven't spent as much one on one focused play time with my son as I usually do. He is very sensitive and asked last night if he could go to his dad's. He has never asked that before and it broke my heart. I know he is feeling neglected and I want to make it up to him and will, we have two weeks of vacation coming up. 

Do you guys ever go through this, the guilt of trying to juggle and realizing that you have neglected your child's emotional needs? He caught me crying last night doing dishes and he said "not again mom!" I am feeling like a failure. It is so hard to balance everything. 

Later on- thanks ladies for your words of support and encouragement. I have a sinus/ear infection and as soon as the antibiotics kick in I should feel a whole lot better. It can be just one additional thing (like being sick) that can make life seem unmanageable. XO

by on Aug. 5, 2013 at 6:58 AM
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Replies (1-9):
JTMOM422
by Brenda on Aug. 5, 2013 at 8:55 AM
1 mom liked this

Momma you are doing your best. You are one person doing the job of 2. You are a great mom to your son. When I read your posts I can see how important he is and how much the 2 of you love each other. There are so many women out there who would just think of themselves and go out partying and neglecting there child that way. As your son gets older he will see all that you did for him while he was growing up and know that you did your best for him. hope you guys have a great 2 week vacation

ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Aug. 5, 2013 at 9:37 AM
1 mom liked this

If you're crying enough for your son to take notice, you may want to seek some help. I think you are one of the moms on here that doesn't believe in medication but I will tell you that I suffered from severe depression most of my adolensce and early adulthood and sometimes you just need an antidepressant to kick start your system back into place. 

Maybe you're struggling more so recently with juggling everything and making sure you have time for your son because you're depressed. It creeps its way in and makes every task seem to much larger and so much harder than it has to be. A couple months ago I thought I had become depressed because I was crying everyday from shear exhaustion. I found it extremely difficult to keep up with the housework and interact with my daughter. I went to my dr for a follow-up appoint on my thyroid and found out my hypothyroidism was out of check. Once my new dosage fully integrated my system, I was a new person and able to take on everything. I'm not saying you have hypothyroidism, I'm just saying that something may be weighing you down, keeping you from doing everything your heart desires to do.

I hope your vacation helps lift your spirit and you can see life anew.

SamMom912
by Gold Member on Aug. 5, 2013 at 9:44 AM
Sometimes life gets in the way of all the things we have to do vs all the things we want to do.
Don't feel too bad.. Life balance is hard. Many people struggle with it! You are being pulled in so many directions...
When you cry do you feel better? I know a good cry can relieve some of the built up stress!
Hang in there. Hug!
Id just talk to your son and tell him you miss him too... You're looking forward to vacation when you can focus on him and fun too! Tell him how pesty work is getting in your way... Let him see you're human! That you have struggles and strifes too. Tell him its ok when you cry... Cause its ok when he ( insert stress reliever for him here).
Its just more proof we all act up when we r feeling too much. Our kids act up... And we do too.. Crying us just on the continuum of looking bad on this side if the spectrum-- where the yelling, screaming, hitting, biting just goes further down the line looking worse...
lucasmadre
by Kari on Aug. 5, 2013 at 5:05 PM
1 mom liked this

You are so smart. I wrote him a note this morning telling him that he is the most important thing in my life even if it doesn't always feel that way and that when we have our vacation together we are going to have a great time. It is ok to cry and I think it is ok for our kids to know that we have struggles too, as long as I am not worrying him. We had a good talk this afternoon and I think we are back on track. Thanks-  

Quoting SamMom912:

Sometimes life gets in the way of all the things we have to do vs all the things we want to do.
Don't feel too bad.. Life balance is hard. Many people struggle with it! You are being pulled in so many directions...
When you cry do you feel better? I know a good cry can relieve some of the built up stress!
Hang in there. Hug!
Id just talk to your son and tell him you miss him too... You're looking forward to vacation when you can focus on him and fun too! Tell him how pesty work is getting in your way... Let him see you're human! That you have struggles and strifes too. Tell him its ok when you cry... Cause its ok when he ( insert stress reliever for him here).
Its just more proof we all act up when we r feeling too much. Our kids act up... And we do too.. Crying us just on the continuum of looking bad on this side if the spectrum-- where the yelling, screaming, hitting, biting just goes further down the line looking worse...


TheJerseyGirl
by Michele on Aug. 5, 2013 at 7:58 PM

 Hugs, momma! I know I'm not the best I can be as far as one on one time with Dillon, but that boy knows he's loved like no other. Your son knows it too, dont be so hard on yourself. You've got other responsibilities and you haven't felt well...I hope the two of you have the most wonderful vacation! Plenty of time to be together! Hugs! Hope you feel better!

Blueluvr
by on Aug. 5, 2013 at 11:16 PM

 U almst made me cry reading this. I remember my mother working 2 jobs and trying to do everything for me and my sister .. and we jst never saw it as hard. She would cry and tell us sorry for being a bad mother.  Then scold us for things we had no idea was going on. But we're all humans. We all make mistakes and it was so much more serious to my mom that it was to us. We would all just shrug our shoulders and giggle and shake our heads.. same as your son, but we had the "she's crying again" look. But we were jst too young. But now that i'm older.. I think we all know the feeling you were feeling. Its ok.. Dads are awesome (most times) But something about moms.. we're jst so freakin awesome!!! We have super human strength and go for days with crazy sleep. Bend backwards for our children. Work hard and then, it hits us all at once.  Dnt be to ruff on yourself. Your doing great. ((HUGS))

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Aug. 6, 2013 at 7:08 AM
1 mom liked this

Hugs mama!  I'm sorry things are rough right now.  You are an amazing mama!

lucasmadre
by Kari on Aug. 6, 2013 at 7:40 AM

Thanks honey, you always have this calm and mellow perspective. I want to be more like you!!  XO

Quoting TheJerseyGirl:

 Hugs, momma! I know I'm not the best I can be as far as one on one time with Dillon, but that boy knows he's loved like no other. Your son knows it too, dont be so hard on yourself. You've got other responsibilities and you haven't felt well...I hope the two of you have the most wonderful vacation! Plenty of time to be together! Hugs! Hope you feel better!


lucasmadre
by Kari on Aug. 6, 2013 at 7:43 AM

I really appreciate your perspective as a kid of a single mom. I hope when my son grows up he will understand too. Thank you for your support and encouragement. I really am doing my best and in the end I am sure my son will see that. XO

Quoting Blueluvr:

 U almst made me cry reading this. I remember my mother working 2 jobs and trying to do everything for me and my sister .. and we jst never saw it as hard. She would cry and tell us sorry for being a bad mother.  Then scold us for things we had no idea was going on. But we're all humans. We all make mistakes and it was so much more serious to my mom that it was to us. We would all just shrug our shoulders and giggle and shake our heads.. same as your son, but we had the "she's crying again" look. But we were jst too young. But now that i'm older.. I think we all know the feeling you were feeling. Its ok.. Dads are awesome (most times) But something about moms.. we're jst so freakin awesome!!! We have super human strength and go for days with crazy sleep. Bend backwards for our children. Work hard and then, it hits us all at once.  Dnt be to ruff on yourself. Your doing great. ((HUGS))


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