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wow.. did she really say that?

Posted by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 7:44 PM
  • 8 Replies

I love my friends and don't expect them to understand fully what i go through on a daily basis. But, today while talking with my one friend, I swear it felt like she slapped me in the face! I have been a little "distant" lately because of everything going on with dylan. He's been so out of control lately and his meds aren't helping. It's been a hard couple of weeks. So, anyways, she was talking to me and said "Becca it's been a couple years since dyl's diagnosis, you should be use to this by now and dealing with it so it doesn't interfere with your life." let me get this straight.. because it's been a couple of years since he was diagnosed and our world turned upside down, I should have just "gotten over it" by now!!? Did she seriously just say that to me??

What she doesn't understand is that every day that we deal with a new issue makes me feel like i'm back in time at that day that he was diagnosed. The day that we felt relieved to have a name to call "it" but at the same time devastated that our life that we had planned out wasn't going to quite happen the way we wanted it to.

I love my little boy more than life itself... and yes, i will eventually learn how to cope and deal with our "bad" days.. but get over it?? ... get over his diagnosis of an ASD??.. no sweat heart.. that i will never learn how to do. frown mini

by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 7:44 PM
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Replies (1-8):
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:03 PM
This is nothing to "get over." Its just a part of your life. People will understand that or not. I lost many friends over the years...
by Platinum Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:46 PM
Hugs... That was insensitive of her.
Every day something "hits" me about the life we lead.. How my son cant handle more then 3 errands a day ( wow it must b nice to have typical kid who can).
My son cant ride a bike ( watched families on vacation ride their bikes) my son dislikes playing in the sand on the beach ( sensory).. Cant ride a regular bus.. Cant be in a regular classroom.. Every day there are reminders that our kids are different and this parenting of a typical kid with typical problems gets mourned...
Im so sorry she was indifferent. Callous.
by Bronze Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:54 PM
1 mom liked this

Sorry!  It's so much more than a diagnosis.  That was the easy part, naming the craziness.  This is a lifestyle.  She doesn't understand.  Hang in there :O

by Jen on Sep. 2, 2013 at 9:00 PM
Unless she has been through it, she can't understand. You should tell her that.

Does she have kids? Tell her that what she said would be the same as you telling her that she has no right to complain about her kid driving her crazy about not doing chores or fighting with siblings since she's been their mom for 5, 6, 10 yrs. WTF can't she figure it out?
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by Platinum Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 9:02 PM
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People who don't have a child on the spectrum don't really understand what we go through. Everyday is something new. What may set them off one time may not the next. Something as little as a light in a store can set our children off and others don't understand it. Try not to take it personally and let her know what she said really hurt. That you would like support not negative advice 

by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 9:18 PM

LOL yeah here let me have my kid not interfere with my life.  NT or ASD it don't matter - that's what kids DO.  You think you have things figured out and they flip the script on you every time. 

I think in some ways it gets harder as our kids get older b/c it becomes more obvious which areas of difficulty they'll triumph over and which they may not.  And as you look towards the future it can look scarier and scarier the older they get. 

by Carissa on Sep. 2, 2013 at 9:58 PM

That was insensitive of her :/

by Janine on Sep. 2, 2013 at 10:14 PM
Wow I'm so sorry she just doesn't get it. Some people just can't seem to grasp what autism is. Everyday is a challenge for our kids & ourselves. Sounds like your friend needs to take a class on sensativty.
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