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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

UNHAPPY Birthday

Posted by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 2:39 PM
  • 14 Replies

He is 7.

he doesnt want a party. He doesnt want a present. He doesnt even want me to come to school with cupcakes/fruit/brownies/ anything.

he wants it to be a regualr day.

Is this weird? Is this depressed? What do you think?

by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 2:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KatyTylersMom
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 2:42 PM
1 mom liked this

I mean if he feels he has no friends to come to a party or enjoy cupcakes then maybe he's want to avoid making that obvious to everyone?  Sounds like he's just feeling lonely.  Maybe suggest a "family only" party so he'll know that everyone there loves him and will be there FOR HIM and HIM ALONE? And then work on helping him find activities and interests in common with some kids at and outside of school?

aidensmomma508
by Wendy on Sep. 10, 2013 at 2:42 PM

Sounds like he just wants his routine my son turned 7 too in August but he's nonverbal so it's different we just made him a small family party supper at Burger King then cake at the inlaws 

JTMOM422
by Brenda on Sep. 10, 2013 at 2:45 PM

Sounds like he just wants a normal day momma. Maybe have cupcakes for him when he gets home


SamMom912
by Gold Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 2:50 PM
He has 7 good friends.


Quoting KatyTylersMom:

I mean if he feels he has no friends to come to a party or enjoy cupcakes then maybe he's want to avoid making that obvious to everyone?  Sounds like he's just feeling lonely.  Maybe suggest a "family only" party so he'll know that everyone there loves him and will be there FOR HIM and HIM ALONE? And then work on helping him find activities and interests in common with some kids at and outside of school?


lady_katie
by Silver Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 2:57 PM

I would venture to guess that his idea of fun doesn't look like what we're used to, but being 7, he might not even realize that fully yet. He knows that he doesn't like the typical gifts/cake thing though. 

What does he like to do for fun on a regular day? 

Jenibob
by Bronze Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 3:05 PM
1 mom liked this

Sorry...Maybe ask him another time, your other post mentions he had an "off" day recently.  This may just be a temp. thing and next year he'll want a different type of celebraton.

Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 3:05 PM

I'm sorry, that's sad Mama.  I'd be thinking there is something going on too.  7 is still an excitable age for b-day treats and party fun, even if it is just family party.  I'd be wondering too.  My NT 10 year old still loves taking birthday treats - well until this year when they said they had to be healthy!  But he always wants his presents and party at home too.  I don't know.  It he shy and just not want the attention at school? 

jowen905
by Jan on Sep. 10, 2013 at 6:50 PM

What about letting him pick out something special to do on the weekend before his birthday, just the family, no additional pressure?  Or maybe let him decide what he wants for a special birthday dinner, at home if that's what he wants?  Maybe a gift card or a bit of money in an envelope with the understanding that he doesn't have to spend it until he feels right about it.  Maybe the thought of all the birthday hoopla is just too much for him to deal with this year - it's good, though, that he can let you know his feelings about itI bet next year will be different!

SamMom912
by Gold Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 7:02 PM
7 moms liked this


All these responses really got me thinking... And in a way.. Here is what Ive come to.. 

Im thinking that every year for the last (as long as he can remember) weve invited 12-15 of his friends to a place.. (Last year the gym for a big swim party, year before a  bounce house place, year before a gymnastics party..) always a lot of kids, always a lot of hoopla. The parties that we are invited to are the same way..(just with more kids! Lol) so THIS is the definition of a party in his mind..

and as much as he is good about asking for what he wants or needs... i dont think a "could me and 2 friends go to a movie and pizza?" Is a "party" so he didnt ask for that...

just before I went in and asked him what he wanted to do.. Nothing.., ok... How come? Cause its during the week. (Ok...) and my friends have karate and stuff after school during the week... (Ok.. ) Well, what about on Saturday, what would you want to do.


so his idea was this... Snce he has several freinds, he would like to have several little get togethers - he wants to swim at the gym with F and K.(twins) .. He wants to play video games and have a sleepover with C. He wants to go to a nearby lego place with j... So its kinda nice his idea... Celebrating alone with each friend... 

Quoting jowen905:

What about letting him pick out something special to do on the weekend before his birthday, just the family, no additional pressure?  Or maybe let him decide what he wants for a special birthday dinner, at home if that's what he wants?  Maybe a gift card or a bit of money in an envelope with the understanding that he doesn't have to spend it until he feels right about it.  Maybe the thought of all the birthday hoopla is just too much for him to deal with this year - it's good, though, that he can let you know his feelings about itI bet next year will be different!



wildchild.com
by Janine on Sep. 10, 2013 at 7:02 PM
Hmmm not sure. Our kids do think differently.(((hugs)))
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