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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

considering "waving the white flag"

Posted by on Sep. 29, 2013 at 9:25 PM
  • 12 Replies

Dylan fell asleep last night before we had a chance to give him his medication and what did that mean for today? .....Pure Chaos!!!

He was bouncing off the walls since he woke up, he was talking at 90 miles a minute and was beat red with sweat pouring off his face before noon!

It was such an awful day! I love him..i do.. but today i wanted to run away..just pack a bag and run!

I'm feeling defeated! Feeling like there will never be answers.. never be specialists that know what is going on or how to control it!

I feel like this is it.. it is what it is.. i'm destined to live the rest of my life in chaos with my son!

..and yes.. i feel isolated from all my friends.. i envy that the most stressful part of their day is work or a pile of dishes in the sink! They will never understand what stress really feels like.

I ended up in the ER 2 nights ago because i had all the symptoms of a heart attack! I screamed for my husband because i thought i was dying. My arms went numb, my chest felt like it was being squeezed by a ton of bricks and my heart was pounding so fast i thought it was going to explode out of my chest. All i was doing was sitting at the computer checking emails and BAM!..

Turns out it was a major anxiety attack. WTH!!! out of nowhere and here i thought i had it all together.

Maybe the fighting and the praying and the wishing things will get better is all for nothing. I know in my heart i have to keep pushing.. but maybe my body is telling me enough is enough..

Sorry for the vent.. it's been a hell of a weekend. sad

by on Sep. 29, 2013 at 9:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
HelloSweetie
by on Sep. 29, 2013 at 9:36 PM

Oh mama I am so sorry. I wish I could hug you. I've been there and I have terrible anxiety. <3

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Sep. 29, 2013 at 10:00 PM

Hugs mama.

 

ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Sep. 29, 2013 at 10:31 PM
2 moms liked this

Sometimes your body can only take so much and when it's done, it leaves your spirit battered and broken. I strongly feel that many of us moms need therapy just as much as our children so we can all get successfully through our hardships. Hold on mama, and if you really start struggling just to keep your head above water find some help. There is nothing wrong with getting counseling and if you ever do, you might wonder why you waited so long to do so.

hugs

Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Sep. 29, 2013 at 10:43 PM

Hugs mama.  The stress and pressures of SN kiddos definitely brought out the anxiety in me, and I spent a few times in the ER a couple of years ago.  I've been on blood pressure pills now for 2 years and many of those symptoms are much better or gone.  They say do meditation, yoga, exercises to help lower your stress.  All great advise, who has time?!  Not me with the kids and schedule we keep.  Maybe someday.  Hope you get feeling better and the anxiety under control.  That feeling is no fun, and you do not need more to stress about!!!

EthansMomma2010
by Bronze Member on Sep. 29, 2013 at 10:56 PM
I strongly agree with this. It can cause real PTSD to deal with this.

Quoting ineedcoffeemom:

Sometimes your body can only take so much and when it's done, it leaves your spirit battered and broken. I strongly feel that many of us moms need therapy just as much as our children so we can all get successfully through our hardships. Hold on mama, and if you really start struggling just to keep your head above water find some help. There is nothing wrong with getting counseling and if you ever do, you might wonder why you waited so long to do so.

hugs

shooting_star21
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 5:35 AM

Momof4AEMW: exactly! Who has time!?? ive been told by my doctor that i need incorporate exercise into my days to help with my stress level.. great..but when??

and same thing about the counseling.. i would LOVE to see someone. Just sit down with someone and pour out all of my fears and stresses, but again.. when? If i'm not working full time, i'm running to a specialist appointment with dylan and on top of that, i'm in nursing school!

The scariest part of this is i don't know when the next attack will happen. I know i'm not going crazy..but i sure feel like i am. :(

I just don't know what to do anymore.

Thanks for listening mamas.. you're the best.

 

johnns
by Johnna on Sep. 30, 2013 at 6:20 AM
I'm with you mama! I had a huge post written yesterday about the tuff week I had with Sally, teens, my dad....Yeh and lost signal. Took me 20 min to write all that crap out! I felt better just getting it out.

My week had therapy written all over it! I'm waiting on new insurance cards- the kids have been covered but not me in years! I've got a list for a Dr! I'm 44 and feel like I'm falling apart. Being away from my DH is not helping. Its starting to show at my house that were a parent short. Teen boys need their daddy, and little Sally has become aware of her daddy being away and cries at least once a day for him! We plan to move, I just feel so mentally & physically drained, I don't know
how iI will get us there!
Its stress, and us mommies have to be able to take care of oourselves. Its not easy- its got coo coo's nest written all over it!
I'm so hoping for a better week.
I hope you have one to. If I were there with you, I would so watch your little one to give you some space. Hugs- hang in there!! This too shall pass, right? God I hope so for all of us!! Lol
SamMom912
by Gold Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 7:42 AM
Can you eat lunch at your desk when working and take a walk during your lunch time. Or eat quick when you get back from short walk? If u get 45 min for lunch- walk for 30 eat for 15?
Take less classes?
Im afraid your body is telling u "too much"... And you cant give up ur kid and you cant give up working ( i assume u need the money?) can u talk with your boss about cutting back 3-5 hours a week- temporarily- for your health?
ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Sep. 30, 2013 at 7:50 AM

I understand counseling seems like an unattainable option when there's no time. One option is online live counseling. Issue there is probably money.... I have no idea if they accept insurance or not. 

But one thing you could do to help your stress is to buy GABA and Taurine supplements to add to your diet. They are used as a natural way to treat stress .... my brother has OCD and used to have alot of panic attacks. He was on several different meds, none really did the trick. Switched to natural remedies and hasn't had a panic attack in over a year.

TheJerseyGirl
by Michele on Oct. 1, 2013 at 5:12 AM

 You're supposed to vent here! Life is hard and somedays unbearable!

That attack had to be so scary! I carry lots of stress and let things get to me that shouldn't. I don;t like the idea of meds but I'm sure something for stress would be helpful ..for both of us!LOL!

Life is so uncertain...all we know is that we have these kids who will completely depend on us and the thought of the future is unknown and scary...no wonder we have anxiety!

Hugs, momma...I hope today is better! Don't forget his meds!!!LOL!

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