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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

One of those nights

Posted by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 1:12 AM
  • 11 Replies
I love my children beyond explanation. My youngest is on the spectrum and my oldest has sensory processing(we are also in the process of evaluations for ADD/ADHD. I try so hard to maintain my patience and understanding that sometimes they can not help it. They are amazing kids.

We have a continent issue with the brotherly love thing of taking each other's things and starting fights with one another.

Tonight was a bad night for me. I suffer from chronic back pain and impacts my mood sometimes. Tonight they started with their normal stuff. My oldest took the youngest nerf bow and arrow. The youngest of course flipped out. I asked the youngest why does he does this when he knows how is brother will react.

I decided to try to talk with both of them about what we can do as a family to work together. My oldest tried so hard to listen. The youngest decided to have a disrespectful moment and not listen. I got upset and told them that I was done talking and needed a few minutes to myself.

I feel extremely terrible. My oldest got extremely upset because I was crying. I should learn to control my reactions better. I just want to go in and hug them while they are sleeping. I apologized to them for getting upset.

Sorry for such a long post. I just needed to get this off my chest
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 1:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
HippoCat
by Hadley on Sep. 30, 2013 at 1:21 AM

I think you did the best possible thing you could have. You tried to discuss it and you removed yourself when it got to be too much so that you could get a better perspective of it. I think it is good to let your kids see you cry occasionally. Our little ones have a hard time learning about emotions right? So, the best way to teach them is to let them see our emotions and then explain them. 

I always feel like I am not handling things right and I always feel so guilty when I feel like I freak out. I do the same thing and just want to go in and hug them when they are sleeping. Don't beat yourself up. I think you did a good job. 

Angelmevans
by Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 1:34 AM
1 mom liked this
Thank you for understanding. I know it is hard. I just have to tell myself there is no such thing as a perfect mom. We all have our days.


Quoting HippoCat:

I think you did the best possible thing you could have. You tried to discuss it and you removed yourself when it got to be too much so that you could get a better perspective of it. I think it is good to let your kids see you cry occasionally. Our little ones have a hard time learning about emotions right? So, the best way to teach them is to let them see our emotions and then explain them. 

I always feel like I am not handling things right and I always feel so guilty when I feel like I freak out. I do the same thing and just want to go in and hug them when they are sleeping. Don't beat yourself up. I think you did a good job. 


Jenifr
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 4:09 AM
Sorry to hear that. *virtual hug*
shooting_star21
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 5:39 AM

I think you did exactly what you should have. Several times i tried to talk the situation out and when it was going nowhere and i was getting more frustrated, the best thing i could have done was remove myself from the situation.

It's a sucky feeling..i know.. but mama, you did everything right.

 

hugs

Angelmevans
by Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 6:28 AM
Thank you so much. I just wish sometimes I could handle it and not get upset. I just feel guilty and you know that mother guilty is terrible sometimes. 😺
darbyakeep45
by Darby on Oct. 1, 2013 at 5:46 AM

Hugs!  Hope last night was better:)

jowen905
by Jan on Oct. 1, 2013 at 8:40 AM

I know just how you feel.  I try to be as patient as I possibly can, all the time.  But this past weekend we were at a fair and my son just kept asking the same questions over and over.  I got sharp with him which I know really hurts his feelings.  I apologized and gave him a hug, but I hate that sick feeling I get when I KNOW I didn't have to react that way, I was just being selfish!  But we do have to realize we aren't perfect, but sometimes I just want to smack myself in the mouth!

wildchild.com
by Janine on Oct. 1, 2013 at 2:02 PM
Awe hugs mama!
wildchild.com
by Janine on Oct. 1, 2013 at 2:05 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting jowen905:

I know just how you feel.  I try to be as patient as I possibly can, all the time.  But this past weekend we were at a fair and my son just kept asking the same questions over and over.  I got sharp with him which I know really hurts his feelings.  I apologized and gave him a hug, but I hate that sick feeling I get when I KNOW I didn't have to react that way, I was just being selfish!  But we do have to realize we aren't perfect, but sometimes I just want to smack myself in the mouth!

This is so true...but I think this is why we're such good moms.We try so hard, we acknowledge when we're wrong & we never give up!
Jenibob
by Bronze Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 3:36 PM

It's ok, we're human after all!  Don't beat yourself up.

 I had a crying jag while on vacation, my emotions were on overload and my tolerance was at zero.  This happened while walking to a store with my DD son.  He looked at me and he "got it".  It was such a surreal moment.  I don't make a habit of having a meltdown or crying in front of my son, nor do I recommend others do it.  That example taught me good things can come out of our worst moments.,,life is all about learning.

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