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Behavioral issues at school :-/

Posted by on Oct. 2, 2013 at 11:20 AM
  • 6 Replies

I just don't get it.  My son did really well last year-as a matter of fact, everytime someone in the elementary school saw me (that knows him), they would make a point of telling me that fact.  This year is his first year at the middle school, and there have been non-stop problems-putting his head down on his desk, talking back to teachers, refusing to do work, getting into arguments with other students because they're annoying him (his words).  He's super argumentative.  Hell, just yesterday he was arguing about an emu being bigger than an ostrich, and even when we looked up information to show him that he was wrong, he refused to believe it.  He was also arguing with my oldest about whether or not Peru is below the equator, and when my son pulled up a map to show him, he said he's seen 'millions of maps,' and this one is wrong.  I'm ready to pull my hair out!


He just argues about EVERYTHING, and is never wrong, even if you show him proof, otherwise.  He left a gallon of milk out and the cereal after he ate, and the dog got to both (she can unscrew covers), and was adamant that he didn't leave it out (even though he was the only one who had cereal/used the milk), and got mouthy, saying "Oh, I must be making up memories of putting the milk away."  Automatic time out and loss of computer/tv/video games for the day after that, which he thought was overkill.

Another example:  He's recently lost a couple teeth, and my oldest found one in his room (gross, I know).  He told my other son to get it out of his room, and he's adamant that it's not his.  "What, every tooth that is found is automatically mine??"  Well, yes, if you are the only one losing teeth, that would be the logical explanation.  It turned into this huge argument with them yelling back and forth at each other, with him saying he shouldn't have to get it because it's not his....

Anyways, I've already had his 504 meeting with the school, an unscheduled, surprise meeting with the principal last week because of behavior issues, which resulted in the decision to schedule another 504 meeting, and now one of his teachers wants to have a sit down with the both of us to discuss her expectations in the classroom after having had a really bad day with him.  I'm super close to just pulling him out and homeschooling, it has been that bad this year.  I just don't know what to do at all....

wedding tickers








 

by on Oct. 2, 2013 at 11:20 AM
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Replies (1-6):
easthomas
by New Member on Oct. 2, 2013 at 12:26 PM

So how did my son end up in  your house?  Just kidding, but  you are not alone...If it helps, mine seems to be occasionally not going to that argumentative place just because he can . . . This is actually not that unusual if  you think about the "little professor syndrome."  He needs an FBA and a BIP concerning this "defiance/         argumentativeness" ....feel free to ask for further definitions...sorry hand injured today or would just type it now...

easthomas
by New Member on Oct. 2, 2013 at 12:27 PM

The change can include hormone fluctuations and the big change from elementary school to middle school...it takes some getting used to.... :)

jowen905
by Jan on Oct. 2, 2013 at 1:32 PM

Quoting easthomas:

The change can include hormone fluctuations and the big change from elementary school to middle school...it takes some getting used to.... :)


I completely agree! My son started middle school this year and it is such a big change from elementary school as you well know. And he is in the midst of puberty which only adds fuel to the fire! My son's been a bit argumentative, but not too bad. I have to really remind myself not to get sucked in to his arguments and keep my patience (difficult!). I've had some talks with him (when he's in a good mood) about how difficult things can be and that he has the right to be frustrated but not rude. And I give him examples of issues I had in school, too much homework, etc. I think it helps him when he feels that I'm on his side and that I know how frustrating and overwhelming things can feel at times. Best of luck to you - maybe he needs more downtime, or can the teachers shorten his assignments or give him more time to complete them? Do you think he's just feeling overwhelmed?
lhiannan
by Member on Oct. 2, 2013 at 1:43 PM

Homework hasn't been the issue, that I know of.  It's class assignments or him just plain arguing or disrespecting his teachers if they say something he doesn't like.  I'm going to request another fba (he had one a few years ago for other issues, mainly to prevent meltdowns when he was younger).  I'm honestly not opposed to homeschooling him, but he likes to see his friends.

Quoting jowen905:


Quoting easthomas:

The change can include hormone fluctuations and the big change from elementary school to middle school...it takes some getting used to.... :)


I completely agree! My son started middle school this year and it is such a big change from elementary school as you well know. And he is in the midst of puberty which only adds fuel to the fire! My son's been a bit argumentative, but not too bad. I have to really remind myself not to get sucked in to his arguments and keep my patience (difficult!). I've had some talks with him (when he's in a good mood) about how difficult things can be and that he has the right to be frustrated but not rude. And I give him examples of issues I had in school, too much homework, etc. I think it helps him when he feels that I'm on his side and that I know how frustrating and overwhelming things can feel at times. Best of luck to you - maybe he needs more downtime, or can the teachers shorten his assignments or give him more time to complete them? Do you think he's just feeling overwhelmed?


amonkeymom
by Amy on Oct. 2, 2013 at 3:55 PM

I was just thinking this as well.  My son just moved to middle school this year as well and I've noticed some changes in his behavior.  Some can definitely be attributed to hormones and others I'm chalking up to the changes in his life lately (moving, new school, etc).

Quoting easthomas:

The change can include hormone fluctuations and the big change from elementary school to middle school...it takes some getting used to.... :)


darbyakeep45
by Darby on Oct. 2, 2013 at 5:45 PM

Hugs mama!

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