Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Welcome to Autism: Support Across the Spectrum! Please introduce yourself... Get started here!

Posted by   + Show Post

Hi,

Thank you for joining the Autism: Support Across the Spectrum group!

This is a great place to find support, advice and friendship from other moms just like you!

You'll find moms chatting by posting and replying on the group. Please make yourself at home and join in!

  • To add a New Post to a group, click on the "Add a Post" button at the top of the group.
  • To add a Reply to a post, click on the "Reply to Post' button at the top of the post you're replying to.
  • If you're responding to someone's reply, click on the "Quote" button at the bottom of the reply that you're commenting on and then add your reply.
  • Once you start posting and replying on the Groups, you can follow up on your conversations using the links under the 'My Activity' tab at the top of every page.

Please introduce yourself in the replies below and then say hello to some of the other moms who've introduced themselves recently. You can 'Quote' their replies so they know you're talking to them and you can 'Like' their replies, as well. Feel free to send out some friend invitations by clicking on the 'friend Invite' link at the bottom of their reply.

If you have any questions, please let me know. I'm always happy to help!

have a nice day  Amy

PS - Here are some helpful links: 

If you ever have a question or need any help, feel free to send me a private message. 

We really want you to have a great time in this group!

by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 2:44 PM
Replies (301-310):
mypbandj
by Jen on Nov. 18, 2013 at 10:52 PM

Hi Lillette. You do have your hands full! 

I have three kids; one on the spectrum. You must be a pro at this by now! I'm sure you will have a lot of expertise to share with group. Please feel free to jump into a conversation anytime. 

Quoting lillettemomma:

Hello I'm lillette I am a 28 year old mom of soon to be 4 babies....I have hf autism (aspergers) bipolar disorder ocd and multiple sclerosis....my oldest is 5 and I believe he has hf autism (aspergers) but his dad has full custody and doesn't believe in autism so I can't have him tested or anything.......my next oldest daughter is 2 (3 next month) and has a - typical autism, speech and language disorder, spd, and a processing disorder......my next youngest is almost 2 (january) and has a speech delay, spd, and a processing disorder.....we are in process of getting her evaled for autism..... and I am about 14 weeks pregnant with baby #4.... Also my fiance (daddy to the younger 3) has paranoid schizophrenia and explosive rage disorder...... we are by no means a typical family but we make it work the best we can


mypbandj
by Jen on Nov. 18, 2013 at 10:57 PM

Hi Jess. Welcome to the group. I just got goosebumps reading your into! OMG I am horrified at what happened at your children's school. That is just WRONG! 

How did you handle it? Did you share the tape with the school or confront the teacher? What did they do? 

I just read a story online that was similar. A child was claiming the teacher was bullying the kids so the dad sent them to school with a recorder. They got it all on tape! Then the dad went in and had a meeting (didn't tell them they had a recorder) and told them what his kid had claimed the teacher had said. Of course she denied it. The school promised an investigation and as expected, nothing was done. The school said that it was his word against hers. 

So he showed up with the tape. They had another meeting and he played it. The teacher almost fell over. LMAO. The administrator asked her to leave the meeting and they apoligized. All that sounds good and all but the teacher wasn't fired. I think she should have lost her job over that. They just gave her a new class. PASS the TRASH is what I call that. 

Quoting Jesslynne_81:

Hi, my name is Jess. I have a 12 year old son who was diagnosed as Autistic when he was 11, He was previously misdiagnosed with ADHD at the age of 5, He was on several different meds (at different times) but none of them helped. Some made him depressed, some violent, some made him almost zombie-like, and one caused him to gain over 30 pounds in just a couple months. All of them changed him. He wasn't the same happy-go-lucky boy I knew. My husband and I took him off all meds when he gained all the weight and took him to a new doctor and explained to the doc that we didn't believe ADHD was the issue and after a couple weeks he was rediagnosed with high functioning autism. Our son was in a couple special needs classes, and had an IEP but nothing was working for him. Teachers begged us (some practically demanded) to put him back on meds. We refused. They refused to adjust his IEP so that maybe he could get better help hin school. We found out last year after sending him to school with a recorder because he told us he was being bullied, that it was his special needs teachers that were doing the bullying. When we heard one teacher SCREAM at him for reading something on the board out loud, (he has to read things out loud in order to understand what he is reading) we pulled him and his sister out of school and began homeschooling. I have been homeschooling since February. We might spend several hours on one subject but if that's what we have to do then that is exactly what we will do. I love my son. Autism and all. He doesn't need to change and conform to everyone else's learning and teaching style. He will learn, his way, and however he wants.   


mypbandj
by Jen on Nov. 18, 2013 at 11:01 PM

Hi and welcome to the group! My first suggestion would be for you to get the book called: Common Sense Parenting for Toddlers and Preschoolers. Its my favorite discipline method because 1) it's easy to read and 2) it gives you an easy to follow formula to get things done and 3) it's evidence based. 

I think it would be helpful for you to even take a parenting class if you could find one. Love and Logic are frequently offered (although its not my favorite). Please don't take offence to my suggesting parenting books and such, I do not mean to offend. I just am a strong believer in learning as much as you can...having as many tools as possible. Parenting (and grand-parenting) is HARD! And I think we all can use all the help we can get!!

Quoting GrannyJoToo:

Hi, I am a great grandmother of 3 ages 8, 4 and 2 1/2.  They, along with their parents, have been living with me and I am desperate for help coping and hopefullly averting some of the bad behavior.  The 8 year old boy has Autisum Spectrum Disorder, the 4 year old girl has similar tember tantrums (often repeating verbatum meltdowns of older brother)  and she is very mean to her 2 year old brother.  Oldest has meltdowns, 4 year old copies behavior, 2 year old copies big sister. 

I don't know where to begin:

Typical morning:  I am usuallly the one getting up with the children, giving them breakfast, dressed and taking them to school.  Day starts at 6:45 on school days (I say that but the 8 year old often crawls in bed with me much earlier than that pleading "GrannyJo please feed me, I am starving.  I am not going to make it.  GrannyJo, get up." I send him down to the table and ask him to please be quiet and I will be right down. (Right, asking him to be quiet is a trigger to be anything but)  I give him his medicine and ask him to take it , he promply says no.  I ask him if he wants milk and while I am pouring it he says no, I want juice.  I say, you asked for milk so you have to drink this because we cannot waste it.  (He often changes his mind with whatever you are doing for him, cut his meat, no don't cut it, gravy on potatoes, no I don't want gravy) Then the screaming starts. "Be quiet, go to you room and get dressed for school." and he says No, I am not going to school, I am never going to school.

This morning I accidently spilt his milk and he starts screaming at me, get me some more milk right now and don't you ever do that again. I tell him it was an accident and that he still has milk in his glass and when he drinks that I will get him so more.  And the screaming begins again with the disrespectful demands. And I mean he screams so that I am sure the neighbors think we are killing him. Then, at times, I find myself screaming back which I am sure serves no purpose. When he realizes that I am unhappy with his behavior he often comes back and says I'm sorry, I love you but by then I am sure my blood pressure is peaking.  We won't even get into doing homework or picking up his toys.  lol

I know that the way I react to these situations has a lot to do with how he reacts but sometimes it is hard to not to react to disobient, disruptive, disrespectful behavior.  I feel so at a loss for how to deal with these special little people.  I know they can't always control their actions and if I can learn how to control my attitude maybe, just maybe it will help change his. 

Any suggestions, hints, are welcome...I feel so uneducated and helpless...times have change since I raised my children.




mypbandj
by Jen on Nov. 18, 2013 at 11:05 PM

Hi and welcome! About the South Dakota thing, you might want to make a new post about that in the group. I think more people will see it there. I live in KS. 

I also have a teenage son on the spectrum. He is also high functioning and has similar issues as your son. I think that having two brothers so close in age is probably both a blessing and a hardship. Blessing because he has built in friends and buddies. Hardship because he is going to watch them do the things he wants to do too. 

I have a daughter who is a soical butterfly. I think in a way it is easier on my son when she goes off places because she is a girl and doing things he doesn't want to do anyway. But I know he wants friends but just can't seem to make any. It makes me sad and hurts my heart. 


Quoting Vento2013:

Hello,


I am the mother of six boys.  Its a mixed family.  3 of the boys coming from my husbands side and 3 coming from mine.  My youngest and the youngest of all of the boys is Autistic.  Thankfully he does not seem to have any secondary.  The problem that I am having now is that we have four of the boys full time and then all six over the breaks.  So my youngest who has Autism has just turned 11 and is in the 6th grade.  His next older brother is in the 7th and his third older brother is in the 8th.  So there all in the same school.  Tristan has never expressed an interest in anything outside of his brothers and us as his parents.  We take him to church and youth groups and you has "friends" at school but  none that really understand him.  They will say hi to him but do not have in depth conversations with him.  He is High Functioning but has major social issues when it comes to making friends in his peer group.  He does tend to drool just a little bit still and is hard to understand when he gets excited.  He also can obsesses over a subject tell his "friends" are really sick and tired of hearing about that particular subject and want to move on.  All Junior High stuff.  My worst nightmare has come true and he has emerged from his cocoon and now wants to be a social butterfly like his brothers.  We are a very outgoing family and Tristan never wanted a whole lot to do with it even though he has a huge heart.  Now he has hit puberty and he wants a friend.  He told me this morning with tears in his eyes that he wants a real friend, one he can talk to and can be "just like him".  I knew this was going to happen one day but I'm not prepared.  He is so lonely and wants more.  I am thinking of putting him in a Social Class but it costs around 400 and our insurance wont pay for it.  Ive tried going through our church but the support group is made up of mothers that have young, young kids or already adult kids.  The couple of mothers that I have run into are always so busy and are as reluctant for there children to go somewhere as I am.  Does someone have some advice for me,  And does anyone on this site live in South Dakota?


mypbandj
by Jen on Nov. 18, 2013 at 11:09 PM

Hi. Welcome to the group! I have a son on the spectrum who is now 16. It took us until he was seven to get a Dx. He too was (and still is) very smart! I When he was just a toddler and preschooler, I overlooked the behavior because he was SO smart. Much smarter than any of my friends kids. But he didn't fit in. I just thought it was the other kids being mean. But it happend with all kids. My poor boy. He just didn't know how to make friends. 

What grade in your daughter in? 

Quoting Hersolomommy:

My little one was formally disagnosed this fall. I have felt for a long time she was different then other kids her age. But she was so smart, so advanced in other areas when she was a toddler that we just felt she would catch up. It wasnt until she turned four that her speech became delayed and she started showing signs. We didnt know what they were at the time, she didnt have the typical signs that would send off alerts. They were hit and miss. It took us almost two years to finally get a DX. She is in school now and with the DX from the DRs and her school being on board, we are hopeful that we can get things in order. She is hyper active, speech delayed, and has very big issues with behaviour. Even with the DX I sometimes feel like ok what now? At school there is a plan but now its trying to find out where do we go from here at home.


mypbandj
by Jen on Nov. 18, 2013 at 11:14 PM

Welcome to the group Debbie! My name is Jen and I feel your pain about the school. I have a 16 yr old with high functioning autism and I've fought the schools since he was four. 

I now have a 3 yr old and we are going thru a similar situation. I had him evaluated because I worried about his language but the school did one test and found that he was average. Sixteenth percentile. I can't beleive that is "average.' I've had to take him to a private school that focuses on language. He's come SO far in just 10 weeks or so. BUT he recently qualifed to be in a study where they are helping language delayed kids - so after testing him just a few weeks ago, with all his progress, they found him to be language delayed! Why can't the school district see that? 

My best advice for you would be to ask them for testing and if you disagree, tell them you want an independant educational evaluation at their expense. You have that right. Look it up at wrightslaw.com. Schools know what tests they can do on kids that will fair the best results - meaning they don't have to give services. Go private for an eval if you have to. 

One thing I learned is that I am the only person on this planet who is going to be my child's advocate. 

Quoting dsimp4:

Hi, I'm Debbie,
I raised two boys that we recently found out are autistic. Now I'm raising a grandson that was diagnosed in July. I didn't know when I raised my boys anything about autism. So now I'm learning about it thru my grandson. Braydin is 8, he will turn 9 next month. I only wish I knew years ago what little I've learned since July. I'm having issues with his elem school. I can't seem to get them to recognize that he is autistic and needs a more consistent schedule, along with the fact they have him mainstreamed for everything, even though he has issues with anything having to do with reading and language. He is on an IEP that he has had the past 2 years, but now this school has cut him down to 20 min a day for help w reading only. He can't answer any of the who, what, when, where or how questions, even after a very short story. My problem comes in with, if you don't ask for specific help they won't give it to him or me. I don't know what to ask for and can't seem to find anywhere around where I live to help me know what to ask for or how to ask for it. Any and all advise would b greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.


mypbandj
by Jen on Nov. 18, 2013 at 11:16 PM
1 mom liked this

HI Jen, I'm Jen too! I also have three kids and I used to live in VA. LOL

What part of VA are you in? Im in KS now. My kids are 16, 13 and 3. 

Does your daughter have an IEP at school? 

Quoting jaytee:

Hi! My name is Jen. I have three kiddos. My 10 year old was diagnosed with ASD in June but the doc didn't put that on the official diagnosis report. I'm working on getting that changed. She will be starting OT and speech therapy soon (hopefully, gotta work stuff out, our insurance covers nothing under the autism umbrella or developmental delay). We live in VA. I have been married for a little over a year to my amazing husband. My other two kiddos are 12 and 5.


Ben2011
by New Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 3:36 AM
3 moms liked this
Hi my name is Carol I have one son Ben who is 23 months and somewhere on the spectrum (exactly where is TBD). Right now everyday feels like such a struggle with really good moments and really bad ones. We started early intervention at 17 months but I'm not sure how much it has accomplished. We have aba everyday speech and OT once a week and we will be starting pt soon. Ben is a squirmy wormy with lots of sensory issues. His language is delayed but his motor skill development is pretty typical (except he still falls a lot). He has quite a few different Stims and bounces around like a ping pong ball unless he is hyper focusing on drawing or his lacing bead set (his newest obsession). Like most ASD kids he will focus on things he wants to but if he doesn't want to good luck getting him to stay in the room. I love my little squirmy wormy more than anything but I feel so isolated and lonely. I find it hard to get together with friends and family because he runs away and I spend the entire time chasing him and bringing him back and he runs again. Even at our house if friends come over with children he gets territorial and acts out running around. I tried a stroller walk with friends and he screamed and bucked that I couldn't enjoy it.
Folkgal13
by on Nov. 19, 2013 at 7:53 AM
1 mom liked this


I love the gap! The older two are eager to help, and I'm happy to have the extra set of hands. It neat watching Hayes (my oldest) interact with the baby.

Quoting mypbandj:

Hi Amanda! Welcome to the group. 

I also have three kids: 3, 13, and 16. How do you like having such a gap between kids? I personally LOVE it! Although everyone assumes my youngest was an accident. He wasn't. ;)

My oldest has aspergers and was Dx at age 7 although I knew it earlier. I didn't realize something was off though until he was around four. 

Quoting Folkgal13:

Hey there my name is Amanda. I'm a mom of three ranging in ages 11,9, and 3 months. My oldest Hayes has been diagnosed with autism since he was 2. There have been a lot of ups and downs in the last 9 years but I wouldn't change it for the world. Now that we are approaching adolescents I feel like I'm retraining myself some days. It's a whole new set of challenges! Anyhow just wanted to say hey:-)




Reina13
by Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 10:08 PM

 Hi Carol. You sound like you are a very busy mommy with your little squrimy wormy. :)

How does he enjoy his therapies? Does he interact well with the therapist?

Quoting Ben2011:

Hi my name is Carol I have one son Ben who is 23 months and somewhere on the spectrum (exactly where is TBD). Right now everyday feels like such a struggle with really good moments and really bad ones. We started early intervention at 17 months but I'm not sure how much it has accomplished. We have aba everyday speech and OT once a week and we will be starting pt soon. Ben is a squirmy wormy with lots of sensory issues. His language is delayed but his motor skill development is pretty typical (except he still falls a lot). He has quite a few different Stims and bounces around like a ping pong ball unless he is hyper focusing on drawing or his lacing bead set (his newest obsession). Like most ASD kids he will focus on things he wants to but if he doesn't want to good luck getting him to stay in the room. I love my little squirmy wormy more than anything but I feel so isolated and lonely. I find it hard to get together with friends and family because he runs away and I spend the entire time chasing him and bringing him back and he runs again. Even at our house if friends come over with children he gets territorial and acts out running around. I tried a stroller walk with friends and he screamed and bucked that I couldn't enjoy it.

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN