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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Hi! Advice?

Posted by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:35 AM
  • 13 Replies
I don't post here often I just kinda lurk. We'll my daughter has aspergers and is in kindergarten. She has an aide the whole time at school 1:1 most of the time and 1:2 3 hours a week. Alex is crazy smart so is bored and gets into trouble. The aide and teacher both know its because she's bored and they try to compensate for if by doing 1st grade reading and math. The teacher said if she was neurotypical she would recommend she be advanced.

Anyway when she gets bored and gets into trouble she gets sent to room 10 (the special ed class with the head E.R.R. Teacher, we'll call her Mrs. M. This morning Mrs. M came by and said hi just as it was time to go into class. Alex squealed and hid behind me. This is NOT like Alex. I personally don't like her either for a past incident. Alex just says she doesn't like her but that is an extreme reaction for Alex. Usually she just won't look towards the person and completely ignore them then misbehave more for them.

What can I do? My gut says something is off but I don't know what!
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SamMom912
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 1:04 PM

Id wonder what was going on. 

Snce she is an aspie (like my kid) id be asking later.. Unaccusingly, "hey, I noticed this morning you were hiding behind me when Mrs,M said hi. Whats up? ... Then Id let HER fill in the blanks for you. Ive gotten SUPER good at playing detective... Not giving answers, JUDT getting info.

Xandriasmommy
by New Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 1:28 PM
I'm going to try agIn but in the past I've always just gotten, "I just don't like her."

Quoting SamMom912:

Id wonder what was going on. 

Snce she is an aspie (like my kid) id be asking later.. Unaccusingly, "hey, I noticed this morning you were hiding behind me when Mrs,M said hi. Whats up? ... Then Id let HER fill in the blanks for you. Ive gotten SUPER good at playing detective... Not giving answers, JUDT getting info.

SamMom912
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 1:55 PM


So... You dont like her... What is it about her you dont like? Her dress? Her hair? ( you could get silly and say funny thing she may not like...)... To ease the tention and get the flow of convo... 

Then see what she says...


Quoting Xandriasmommy:

I'm going to try agIn but in the past I've always just gotten, "I just don't like her."

Quoting SamMom912:

Id wonder what was going on. 

Snce she is an aspie (like my kid) id be asking later.. Unaccusingly, "hey, I noticed this morning you were hiding behind me when Mrs,M said hi. Whats up? ... Then Id let HER fill in the blanks for you. Ive gotten SUPER good at playing detective... Not giving answers, JUDT getting info.



Xandriasmommy
by New Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 1:58 PM
/I'll try! Thanks!

Quoting SamMom912:


So... You dont like her... What is it about her you dont like? Her dress? Her hair? ( you could get silly and say funny thing she may not like...)... To ease the tention and get the flow of convo... 

Then see what she says...



Quoting Xandriasmommy:

I'm going to try agIn but in the past I've always just gotten, "I just don't like her."



Quoting SamMom912:

Id wonder what was going on. 

Snce she is an aspie (like my kid) id be asking later.. Unaccusingly, "hey, I noticed this morning you were hiding behind me when Mrs,M said hi. Whats up? ... Then Id let HER fill in the blanks for you. Ive gotten SUPER good at playing detective... Not giving answers, JUDT getting info.




SamMom912
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 2:22 PM

I think what I was trying to say is only your DD has the info you need.. And you have to get it out of her. Youcan speculate .. But only she knows why she doesnt like her.... It may be valid.. It may not... But I think without her info, its hard to go to the school and say anything... Or ask for a change... It may be something silly, like her perfume... That your DD doesnt like the smell of... Or she may have really yelled at her for something and your DD holds a grudge.. Again, speculations... So get some good hard facts.. And then youll be better informed to make a good call to the school. 

Hhgs! Our kids are tough.. Bt we are lucky.. They are verbal and can express themselves (if the questions are not to general- general questions get general answers... Specific questions get specific answers. 

I know you want to help your DD.. And youre probably on to something IF YOU dont get a good vibe... And its SO HARD cause we are not there with them.. So we dont have their experience to make good decisions. 


Xandriasmommy
by New Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 3:43 PM
That makes sense! I'm still learning how to do the whole school thing let alone with an IEP!

Quoting SamMom912:

I think what I was trying to say is only your DD has the info you need.. And you have to get it out of her. Youcan speculate .. But only she knows why she doesnt like her.... It may be valid.. It may not... But I think without her info, its hard to go to the school and say anything... Or ask for a change... It may be something silly, like her perfume... That your DD doesnt like the smell of... Or she may have really yelled at her for something and your DD holds a grudge.. Again, speculations... So get some good hard facts.. And then youll be better informed to make a good call to the school. 

Hhgs! Our kids are tough.. Bt we are lucky.. They are verbal and can express themselves (if the questions are not to general- general questions get general answers... Specific questions get specific answers. 

I know you want to help your DD.. And youre probably on to something IF YOU dont get a good vibe... And its SO HARD cause we are not there with them.. So we dont have their experience to make good decisions. 


emarin77
by Silver Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 5:34 PM

I would be interested why he doesn't like her too.  Make an appointment with the principle to discuss your worries.  I suggest the advance classes to help with managing his behavier.

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Oct. 7, 2013 at 6:02 PM

I would meet with the teachers/staff to discuss this.  Hugs!

Xandriasmommy
by New Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 6:27 PM
Okay after talking with her, she thought she was being sent to room 10 from the get go.

Quoting darbyakeep45:

I would meet with the teachers/staff to discuss this.  Hugs!

patnic
by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 7:57 PM
1 mom liked this

I'd like to address how she is crazy bored.  What else can they give her to do, so she isn't bored?  I do have a teaching degree, so I know the teacher has 20+ other kids to look after, but I think they can do more than just increase her levels in reading and math.  Here are some ideas, that could keep her busy instead of her acting out because she is bored...

Read to struggling readers

Sorting books alphabetically (although, would she get mad at the kids if they messed them up?)

Clean desks

Go on power walks

Organize something

Social skills - "what to do when we are bored in class" or have a social worker/counselor coach her in class when she is bored.

What type of behavior management does the teacher have?  Perhaps, if your daughter knows, when I go to "red" (for example) she has to go to the Special Ed room, maybe she'll stop misbehaving because she doesn't like that teacher.  Create a social story for her, so she knows, if you misbehave and go to red, etc...

Maybe she needs a fidget or something?  I just hate to see a child get in trouble because they are bored.





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