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NT Siblings

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 12:16 AM
  • 7 Replies

 

My 11yo NT daughter always seems to be provoking my 10yo autistic daughter. Of course my 10yo dd always gets in trouble because she tends to react aggressively.

My oldest should know better, but she just eggs her sister on at times. Saying things that she knows makes her mad etc. . . . I know her sister needs to learn to deal with this stuff without getting violent, but does her older sister really need to encourage even more episodes? Some sibling rivalry is to be expected, but this is so exhausting . . . .

Sorry just needed to vent!

by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 12:16 AM
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Replies (1-7):
SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 2:02 AM

Yeah, im thankful I have 1 kid.. 

It has to be hard. My friend has two sons close in age.. Older ASD, younger NT.. And younger just pushes olders buttons left and right... And yes, pushes and pushes to where ASD will be violent as well... Pushed beyond his capabilities, he acts out physcially. Its hard. 

It takes two to tango... Remind your NT dd that IF she pishes too hard her ASD sister will hit her.. No, its not right, but its kind of expected. Your ASD DD needs to find things she can do when she is frustrated thatbare appropriate... But your NT DD needs to learn NOT to poke the already mad bull.. Right? 

I equate it to my parents blaming me when I would leave my toys on the floor as a kid.. And the dog would chew my toys. It wasnt the dogs fault, when toys are left on the floor, the dog chews. It was my fault. i knew better. (Not comparing your asd dd to a dog... Please dont be offended..) 

I cant imagine how hard it must be for you... i watch my friends sons and know how exhausting... HUG... It will get better.. As your asd dd learns how to handle her frustration better.. As she gets older...and hopefully, your nt dd will see she has a choice she can keep exaccerbating your asd dds reactions and make her blow up.. Or she can diffuse the issue by handling it differently.. That too will come with maturity. 



darbyakeep45
by Darby on Oct. 9, 2013 at 5:37 AM

Hugs mama!  I only have one child:)

bigmama423
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 5:20 PM

I wish I had some advice, but unfortunately I do not. I deal with the same thing, my boys are 4 & 8, my girls are 2 & 7. My 8yr old and 4yr old go at it almost always, then my 4yr old acts the same towards my 2yr old..so yeah it's a never ending cycle here...

Christa4924
by Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 7:11 PM

 Exactly!  And anyone watching or hearing about it automatically feels sooo bad for my NT daughter.  She can be quite melodramatic when her sister hurts her.  When she starts to push her buttons, I warn her that if she gets hurt, not to expect any sympathy from me.  It doesn't seem to help though - maybe getting her sister in trouble is all she wanted!

No offense taken on the dog analogy!  It makes sense . . . maybe I'll explain it that way to her.

Quoting SamMom912:

Yeah, im thankful I have 1 kid.. 

It has to be hard. My friend has two sons close in age.. Older ASD, younger NT.. And younger just pushes olders buttons left and right... And yes, pushes and pushes to where ASD will be violent as well... Pushed beyond his capabilities, he acts out physcially. Its hard. 

It takes two to tango... Remind your NT dd that IF she pishes too hard her ASD sister will hit her.. No, its not right, but its kind of expected. Your ASD DD needs to find things she can do when she is frustrated thatbare appropriate... But your NT DD needs to learn NOT to poke the already mad bull.. Right? 

I equate it to my parents blaming me when I would leave my toys on the floor as a kid.. And the dog would chew my toys. It wasnt the dogs fault, when toys are left on the floor, the dog chews. It was my fault. i knew better. (Not comparing your asd dd to a dog... Please dont be offended..) 

I cant imagine how hard it must be for you... i watch my friends sons and know how exhausting... HUG... It will get better.. As your asd dd learns how to handle her frustration better.. As she gets older...and hopefully, your nt dd will see she has a choice she can keep exaccerbating your asd dds reactions and make her blow up.. Or she can diffuse the issue by handling it differently.. That too will come with maturity. 

 

 

 

tanylisa
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 7:36 PM

My son ASD son is 4 1/2 and my other little one so far is NT and he is 20 months, my older DS is constantly all over his little brother, taking his toys away, and just generally aggraving him all the time so I hear constant fussing and crying from my 20 month old and when I tell him to lay off his brother he pretty much screams at me that I'm yelling at him and his ears hurt then he starts crying :/ very exhausting for sure!

mamacam7
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 7:39 PM

My 8 yr old autistic son and my 6 yr old ADHD son egg each other on all the time... My 6 yr old seems to be the leader and my 8 yr old follows in his footsteps. I also have a almost 5 yr old dd and 3 yr old son. If it's not one it's the other.

TheJerseyGirl
by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 6:03 AM

 My 16 year old daughter is like this with D...OMG the yelling I have done in the past!

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