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when something's wrong with my baby...

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:20 PM
  • 16 Replies

Hi ladies, sorry I haven't been around much lately. My son is having a real hard time transitioning into 4th grade. He is sullen, lots of repetitive movements and speech, argumentative, withdrawn...just to name a few signs of his current state of anxiety. Needless to say, when there is something wrong with my baby, there is something wrong with me.

Do you guys feel that way? I can't seem to make sense out of anything when he is out of whack. When he is good...everything is going my way.

Thanks~ xo

by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:58 PM

Oooh, im so sorry to hear! 

Is it the demands of school that are causing him to be so on edge? Id think the argumentative is him just acting out cause school is so much more demanding in the new year. How long has he been in school now. We didnt start til sept... So we have just had 4 weeks... And this has been a hard transition time too... 

I totally hear you on the if there is smething wrong front... Ugh.. Ive been having nightmares.. All involving Sam.. Being eaten by a shark, attacked by a gator, shot in the hallway... Im always within reach, but cant help. Much like in his days of 2nd grade at school.. i cant help him... And it is breaking my heart. 

Is your heart broken too? 

Or are you stressed cause he is stressed. Ya know, it hard.. Cause its a catch 22... They are tired, grumpy, edgy, acting up, acting out, stimming out... And how it effects us... And how we react... And its so intertwined. I know my guy needs me so much to help him with his emotions, that its exhausting having to do all that.. AND have my own. 

Hugs... Huge hugs... 

TheJerseyGirl
by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 6:00 AM

 I know what your saying, Kari!!

I'm sorry he's having such a hard time adjusting this year. Dillon had that last year..he moved up to middle school, lockers, switching every class, just a bunch of new adjustments and the routine became overwhelming some days.

Maybe he just needs a little more time.

but when your baby is upset, it hurts!

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Oct. 10, 2013 at 6:18 AM
1 mom liked this

Hugs mama!  I'm the same way...when things aren't going well with Brady, I'm totally out of it and can't seem to function until he's doing better.  

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 6:20 AM
1 mom liked this

totally. I feel the same way right now.

lucasmadre
by Kari on Oct. 10, 2013 at 7:05 AM

You guys are wonderful, just the support I was so in need of. I have a friend with a boy on the spectrum and she has the attitude to just keep your chin up no matter what. I know she means well and I KNOW she is right about doing my best to be positive but some times I just need to feel like someone understands the way it hurts...ouch. Kind of feel like I just broke up with my boyfriend and I am about 16...that kind of hurt!  Love you guys for the support, really.  XO

lucasmadre
by Kari on Oct. 10, 2013 at 7:07 AM

Oh your dreams brought tears to my eyes. Talk about EXACTLY how I feel. I am standing right here and watching him struggle and try as I might I just can't find the one thing out of a million that will help. Thank you for making me feel less isolated and so understood. Let's all keep writing about this issue, maybe it will make a difference. xo

Quoting SamMom912:

Oooh, im so sorry to hear! 

Is it the demands of school that are causing him to be so on edge? Id think the argumentative is him just acting out cause school is so much more demanding in the new year. How long has he been in school now. We didnt start til sept... So we have just had 4 weeks... And this has been a hard transition time too... 

I totally hear you on the if there is smething wrong front... Ugh.. Ive been having nightmares.. All involving Sam.. Being eaten by a shark, attacked by a gator, shot in the hallway... Im always within reach, but cant help. Much like in his days of 2nd grade at school.. i cant help him... And it is breaking my heart. 

Is your heart broken too? 

Or are you stressed cause he is stressed. Ya know, it hard.. Cause its a catch 22... They are tired, grumpy, edgy, acting up, acting out, stimming out... And how it effects us... And how we react... And its so intertwined. I know my guy needs me so much to help him with his emotions, that its exhausting having to do all that.. AND have my own. 

Hugs... Huge hugs... 


JTMOM422
by Platinum Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 8:34 AM
1 mom liked this

OMG yes I feel that way exactly. It's like I take on my son's mood. I can't concentrate on me because I am so desperately trying to make him happy and find out what the issue is and what I can do to help him. 

HUGS momma. Things will come around. I was shown the coolest app yesterday and I think it might help you. You can get these apps on android or iphone. They are breathing techiniques that your son can work on. It plays calming music and shows when to inhale and exhale. I tried it when I was anxious and it was wonderful. What I like about it is that its discreet. People would just think that you are looking at your phone and not really notice that you are doing the breathing technique to help you relax.

busymommy98
by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 8:37 AM

Totally get it mommy. My lil guy started middle school this year. Lots of tantrums and moodiness. Hang in there momma. One moment at a time. It is what we do. You need to vent, you know where I am at, k? hugs

jowen905
by Jan on Oct. 10, 2013 at 9:52 AM

I completely understand what you're saying.  When my son's going through rough patches, I'm right there with him.  It's sometimes hard to separate his struggles and his accomplishments from my own feelings of struggling or accomplishment.  I feel responsible for everything he is going through.  That's being a mom, I guess.  I try really hard to "present myself" as positive when he's struggling because it seems to really help keep him leveled out (but I don't always have success with that!).   Hopefully things will start smoothing out for him.  Hugs!

NiyasMom1
by Bronze Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 2:03 PM
I don't even remember having my own feelings anymore because since my oldest son was born 25 years ago, my emotions have been so deeply connected to what was going on with him and that continued with each of my other kids, all NT. I think it's worse with my youngest who is DD because I truly feel helpless sometimes. She can't tell me what's wrong when she's upset and the fact that the simple things that the rest of us take for granted is such a struggle for her, breaks my heart. This has really been the most emotionally draining experience of my life and I don't think that feeling will go away until I know that she's okay....
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