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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

aggression

Posted by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 12:41 AM
  • 19 Replies

My five year old just started school this year. So far its been a nightmare.. but the new thing is he is being very aggressive to the other kids. He is very overwhelmed they are taking him out for breaks.. doing  work with him.. etc.. they have him out two afternoons and he comes home early two afternoons to lessen his time in the class..


is there anything I can be doing other then talking to him about hitting.. which I do all the time.. it doesn't seem to be helping :(

by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 12:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jconney80
by Bronze Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 1:02 AM

Do you get ABA therapy? Could you work in the school with your therapist? I know some parents do this.

acaisha
by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 1:07 AM

I don't know what that is .. sorry

SamMom912
by Gold Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 7:51 AM
The hitting isn't the problem.. The hitting is the reaction to the problem. Figure out whats going on before the hitting- solve the problem.
As he gets older his frustration tolerance ( which is low) MAY increase.. His impulsive behaviors MAY become less as well.
Does your son have sensory issues?
aandt1999
by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 7:59 AM

I am sorry, I am going through something similar. My son has gotten wonderful remarks sent home each day so far (also kindergarten) and then Monday- "very rough day, biting, hitting , scratching others." What?! He doesn't do that! Then yesterday the same thing on the bus. I don't know. They have talked about using a weighted vest in school for when he is really over stimulated. They also have him do different exercises that help him by using his muscles, think pushing hard against a wall or doing the crab crawl on the floor. Seems to calm him down a bit. But like I said to the teacher and bus driver, he isn't like other kids. I can say, "no hitting" all day long, and he will reply with something completely unrelated like, "I had milk today." He doesn't communicate the way others do. The teacher knows that but his bus drivers.....ugh. They are a different story. I think they figure if he knows one thing, he must know another...doesn't work that way though. I hope you figure out something that works for your son. We are figuring out what at home therapies might help ours right now so I can't really offer more than this right now. 

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Oct. 24, 2013 at 5:03 PM

Good advice...good luck!

Quoting SamMom912:

The hitting isn't the problem.. The hitting is the reaction to the problem. Figure out whats going on before the hitting- solve the problem.
As he gets older his frustration tolerance ( which is low) MAY increase.. His impulsive behaviors MAY become less as well.
Does your son have sensory issues?


emarin77
by Silver Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 5:32 PM

Teach him to use his words, sign, IPad when angry, "we do not hit."  You repeatedly have to do this.  Positive/negative reinforcement helps with this, make a behavieral chart for him. 

My husband and I did this for my son when he was 3 and he is 5 now and doing so well in kindergarten now.

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 5:45 PM
1 mom liked this

 


Quoting SamMom912:

The hitting isn't the problem.. The hitting is the reaction to the problem. Figure out whats going on before the hitting- solve the problem.
As he gets older his frustration tolerance ( which is low) MAY increase.. His impulsive behaviors MAY become less as well.
Does your son have sensory issues?

I guess the "real" issue is that he doesn't know how to react appropriately to frustrations

 

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 5:50 PM

 


Quoting SamMom912:

The hitting isn't the problem.. The hitting is the reaction to the problem. Figure out whats going on before the hitting- solve the problem.
As he gets older his frustration tolerance ( which is low) MAY increase.. His impulsive behaviors MAY become less as well.
Does your son have sensory issues?


 

I found this social story online, i'll post it to show you.

Stories really help my son.

Calm down time is a board book recommended by a fellow mommy in this board. (i forgot who, ages ago) and its been a life saver for me and my kiddo.

Maybe hands are not for hitting.

But the REAL way to solve it is to do what SamMom is suggesting... find out *why* he is hitting and help him solve the problem.

Good luck mom.

Bobcatridge
by Carol on Oct. 24, 2013 at 8:15 PM

I agree with this.  The hitting is a response.  When my daughter was in first grade she had similar problems.  Actually she had two responses to frustration - one was to just start screaming at the top of her lungs and the other was to pinch the annoying child.  It took awhile to figure it all out.  My daughter had sensory issues and the classroom was too chaotic and noisy for her.  They expected the 1st graders to work in groups and she didn't have the social communication skills to do this.  I was told repeatedly it was all her behavior issues.   I believed that until in 2nd grade I started a brownie troop and I got to see the social communications in action.  It is true she had poor social communication skills, but these kids would purposely torment her until she either burst into tears or ran from the room.  By then she had learned not to pinch.  Figuring out the reason can help decrease the problem.  As my daughter grew older she learned to tolerate frustration at school - she just meltdowns immediately after school.  By the way, the chaos and noise in the classroom decreased dramatically every grade so that helped with the sensory issues.

Quoting SamMom912:

The hitting isn't the problem.. The hitting is the reaction to the problem. Figure out whats going on before the hitting- solve the problem.
As he gets older his frustration tolerance ( which is low) MAY increase.. His impulsive behaviors MAY become less as well.
Does your son have sensory issues?


 

Savvylulu
by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 8:25 PM
could u tell me more about this method ? my boy is Four.


Quoting emarin77:

Teach him to use his words, sign, IPad when angry, "we do not hit."  You repeatedly have to do this.  Positive/negative reinforcement helps with this, make a behavieral chart for him. 


My husband and I did this for my son when he was 3 and he is 5 now and doing so well in kindergarten now.


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