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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Meltdown in the store.

Posted by on Nov. 2, 2013 at 2:49 PM
  • 22 Replies
We went to help my 14 yr old spend her money to get some shirts. I was taking Nicolas through the store getting a couple of other things while she looked. I picked up a banner for his bday party. That started it all! He wanted his bday cake now. Started yelling that he wants cake and loves it! I told him that when it is time for his party, that we will get cake. But not today. So, he went from yelling to screaming and he wouldn't go out to the car with 14 yr old while unpaid for stuff.

So, I quickly paid for everything while he is screaming. Then put him in a football hold and walked out of the store. That was so hard for me. He usually isn't that bad in the store. I hate to be center of attention. Especially with all the people looking at me like I'm unfit!
by on Nov. 2, 2013 at 2:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Jodee24
by Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 3:53 PM
Ignore the people. I try to picture me and my daughter all alone no one else is around (when she's having a meltdown in public) its so hard I get it. My daughter flips shit any time the car stops, stroller stops and shopping cart stops. Lol not fun shopping with her. Sorry u had a bad moment shopping. Hugs!
wildchild.com
by Janine on Nov. 2, 2013 at 4:46 PM
Awe hugs mama...I know the feeling all to well. My son is 8 now & I've learned to ignore the stares & focus soley on my son & his safety. People can judge all they want I know we are doing the best we can do so those people can suck it!
darbyakeep45
by Darby on Nov. 2, 2013 at 5:14 PM

Hugs mama...we've all been there.  Ignore other people...they aren't worth your time.

mcclanto
by Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 5:18 PM

I understand the feeling.  I never want to draw attention to myself, so if my DS does something in public it mortifies me.  Try to shrug it off and remember lots of people have been there.  If I see it happening to someone else I don't stare and if I'm nearby I give a smile and say, "Don't stress, we have all been there."  Someone did that for me once when I was dragging my DS to school, it was a releif to know not everyone was thinking the worst.

Krissyc75
by Kristin on Nov. 2, 2013 at 5:51 PM
I can relate at times what you went through, even though my son is much younger he likes to dictate while he's in the cart what isle and direction we are going down otherwise he becomes unglued. I sometimes can talk him through it but other I can't. People will always look and judge but what I've learned is to try and put that wall up between you and your son and not let others get to you. You will get looks and such but no one will understand unless they've walked in our shoes.
Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Nov. 2, 2013 at 6:14 PM
Thanks everyone. You don't know how much your comments meant! I actually started tear up, just knowing that you understand. :)
Owl_Feather
by Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 6:15 PM

we have ALL been there!!!!! Hang in there!

MunchiesMom324
by Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 6:17 PM
I get it. Ds1 (10) had a meltdown at a church trunk or treat. Too many people, too much noise.threw himself.on the floor, screaming.

It was *fun*. Thankfully at least one onlooker knew what was going on bc she works at the school and knows him well.
SamMom912
by Gold Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 9:04 PM

I hate when I make that mistake... LOL... I do it a lot too.. You know the one, where you dont just pawn off the issue until later... Like.. omg, do you think ai am carrying your cake in my pocket? Is it in my purse? Lets go ask sister if she has cake... And then get wrapped up in the distration of laughing and giggling.. I hate when I forget, and drop the NO hammer on an issue I can feel MAY be escalating...that NO word.. That ABSOLUTE rigidity always sets off my guy too.. I wish it werent so... So Im just finding other ways to pacify him.. To pawn the upset until we are out of the public, (without necessarily giving in...but at keast acknowleding how important this seems) With the "i dont have... Or the "lets see if we can figure that out in a little bit right now we need to...."or just some other postponement or distracting...

sometimes my son doesnt fall for it and fixates, perseverates and gets agitated... And that may be what happened to you today... But i just hate when stuff like this happens... I wish they could just be ok with the ups and downs of life... 

Hugs mom.... 

 

Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Nov. 2, 2013 at 9:22 PM
I have always been pretty good at distracting Nicolas. But the thing of trying not to say no directly is where I need to work. But I did try to get him to do something else. I told him that we were going to another store to get bananas. When that didn't work, I knew he wasn't gonna give up. He screamed in the car and just went home. I wasn't gonna have another episode in a different store. It took me giving him a drink and a snack for him to calm down. It seems like his behaviors are getting a little worse, and I really don't know why. I am hoping with all of us getting back to how it used to be at home, that things will start to even out again. :)
Quoting SamMom912:

I hate when I make that mistake... LOL... I do it a lot too.. You know the one, where you dont just pawn off the issue until later... Like.. omg, do you think ai am carrying your cake in my pocket? Is it in my purse? Lets go ask sister if she has cake... And then get wrapped up in the distration of laughing and giggling.. I hate when I forget, and drop the NO hammer on an issue I can feel MAY be escalating...that NO word.. That ABSOLUTE rigidity always sets off my guy too.. I wish it werent so... So Im just finding other ways to pacify him.. To pawn the upset until we are out of the public, (without necessarily giving in...but at keast acknowleding how important this seems) With the "i dont have... Or the "lets see if we can figure that out in a little bit right now we need to...."or just some other postponement or distracting...

sometimes my son doesnt fall for it and fixates, perseverates and gets agitated... And that may be what happened to you today... But i just hate when stuff like this happens... I wish they could just be ok with the ups and downs of life... 

Hugs mom.... 

 

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