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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Is it common for kids to have no issues at school and then save it all for home?

Posted by on Nov. 15, 2013 at 12:28 PM
  • 32 Replies

 I had my sons (3) preschool teacher conference last night and they do not see a lot of the behaviors we struggle with at home.  He does not sensory seek there or have meltdowns (he does shut down occasionally though, usually during circle time), he doesn't have trouble transitioning and doesn't show much rigidity. He stims occasionally but doesn't yet interfere with learning. He interacts with the children appropriatly, but only if they approach him or ask him a question. He doesn't seek them out to play or ever initiate conversation on his own.

At home he acts crazy needing to be squeezed and jumping off things and stimming like crazy when he gets home. He gets aggressive with peers in the house (I do childcare in my home). His OCD like tendencies are in full force and he has to have everything the same way and melts down when things don't go the way he planned or if plans change.

I feel like his special Ed teacher must think I am a whack job! Any one else deal with this?? He is in a very small class of 7 students. It's an integrated class mixed with 3 and 4 year olds, some have delays and dx and others are NT.

Thanks!

by on Nov. 15, 2013 at 12:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Charizma77
by Carissa on Nov. 15, 2013 at 12:32 PM
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Yes! Ashton has never had behavioral issues at school but we have had a couple of years where he was having a really hard time at home and I asked his teachers for advice and they told me they didn't see any of the behaviors I mentioned and their biggest issue was he didn't talk enough or loud enough. I was like "are we talking about the same child". That is why we have a behavioral therapist work on him at home a couple hours a week and they show us how to work with him and that has helped a lot. 

JTMOM422
by Brenda on Nov. 15, 2013 at 12:34 PM
2 moms liked this

This is perfectly normal. Home is his safe place. It's where he can be himself. At school there is a routine that he has to follow and he holds his stims in. At home he knows he can just let it all out. My son is this way. He does not tip toe or run in circles or jump off of things at school but once he gets home he does it. His ABA says it's because he feels he can be himself at home.

JTMOM422
by Brenda on Nov. 15, 2013 at 12:35 PM
1 mom liked this

We also give my son time to stim when he gets home from school so that when it's time for his therapies he can sit through them and follow directions. We use a trampoline, a ball that he sits on or even rough play helps him to get the stimming out.

binz322
by Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 12:45 PM

 Thanks, you ladies made me feel better! My son is not yet dx officially with anything other then SPD by his OT and school. He is categorized by his Developmental pediatrician as "Autistic like behaviors, monitoring for and ASD" or something like that. He just turned 3 in September. We have a sensory diet in place that his OT helps with to address his sensory seeking at home. We do the brushing protocol and he wears a pressure vest to school. We also do either bike riding, swinging, or trampoline before getting on bus. I guess this all must help him keep it together at school. :)

I just felt like we weren't talking about the same kid last night at the conference! He is complete opposite there. Really quiet and hardly says boo!

kajira
by Emma on Nov. 15, 2013 at 12:50 PM
2 moms liked this

Yes, and as an autistic adult, I hold it in until i'm in private. It's learned. You learn not to show signs or behaviors around social situtions like in school... however, when the social situations exceed his abilities, they may start seeing more issues at school too.

johnns
by Johnna on Nov. 15, 2013 at 1:03 PM
1 mom liked this
Its common even in NT children to behave differently at school than at home. I'm sure his teacher is aware of this.
Its a 'good thing' he's doing well at school. As the school year continues, I bet you see a difference at home as well.
Good luck
SamMom912
by Gold Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 4:36 PM
1 mom liked this

You bet, its SUPER typical... And consider yourself lucky. Lol

my kid "leaks" at school.. Not a full blown melt down.. But little "leaks" of grumbles, rudeness or hiding because the demands of the day are too much. 

Think of it as holding his breath ALL day long and then... Home, exhale and CRAZY! lol... 

SamMom912
by Gold Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 4:37 PM

Not to scare you, but my son held it together until kindergarten. The bigger classroom, the harder the demand,, the more he leaked. 

wildchild.com
by Janine on Nov. 15, 2013 at 4:51 PM
Absolutely! My son acts like a different kid at home. The school is actually.just recently seeing some of the behavior I live with on a daily basis. My son is comfortable with them now & they can not believe some of his behavior. For the past month my son is putting them to the test!
A_McCool
by Bronze Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 5:22 PM

Yes.  I did the same thing.  I remember the lectures from my parents about how if I could behave at school why couldn't I act like that at home, too. 

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