Family member passed, son isn't coping well
Ok I need to rewind a little here, my sister-in law was having trouble with her period. It went on for 2 months straight. She went to the doctor and they discovered she had Uterine cancer. That was in August. She had surgery in September to remove it and she also had a total hysterectomy. A couple weeks passed and she wasn't getting better. She was in constant pain. She went back to the ER because of severe pain and they rushed her back. She was also having trouble breathing Dr. did some tests and they determined that the cancer spread in that short amount of time. They weren't even sure how long she had. My kids were very close to her. Before she passed my husband and I explained the situation to our kids. We also asked them if they wanted to see their Aunt before she passed. We didn't want to force them to go see her and we didn't want to not let them go. We left the decision to them. They both agreed that they wanted to see her. When we went the next evening she was unresponsive and on oxygen. We told her we loved her and said our goodbyes. She passed the next day.2 days after going to the ER, 22 days after her surgery, she was only 45.
My daughter was upset for a few days but felt better after the funeral. And yes, we let them go to the funeral. That decision was their's to make as well. My son hasn't been coping well with it at all. He still cries, and asks why she had to die. She passed 8 days before his birthday which made it extra hard on him. He will get upset, just out of the blue. The other day he was watching Mythbusters on Netflix and they were testing some myth about being buried alive. They were looking at caskets and one looked exactly like the one she was buried in. My son noticed and actually rewound the video to show me and got extemely upset. I hugged him and consoled him and of course had him turn on a different episode after that. I know he needs some counseling. Right now we are still waiting on my husband's health insuarance to kick in. I know he needs to talk. But I really don't know what to say or where to begin. I think it would be a little easier to discuss if he wasn't autistic. Trying to get him to talk about things that bother him is very hard. I wish I knew a way to help him. Maybe my husband needs to be the one to just sit with him and talk to him about it. It's hard enough to deal with the death of a loved one, but dealing with it and having autism has to be much worse. Any ideas from the other mommies here?