Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Paying for my mistake..vent

Posted by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 2:37 AM
  • 59 Replies

My son is a selective eater and eats about 10 foods. On saturday, he wanted to eat french fries. We bought them and they were hot. He was impatient and kept saying "fries" repeatedly. So I handed him one after waiting for about 5 minutes. Unfortunately it was too hot for him and he threw up. I ate it and it was bearable. Since then he has started spitting out all food. Today he has eaten a slice of bread and had 15 ounces of milk. Usually he has 4 meals (pan cakes/bread-butter/nuggets/home cooked muffins/dry cornflakes). He has been asking for a fried snack called cheeseling, his favorite, all day. That is the only food he eats on his own. Usually we give him the snack in between meals, but I wouldn't want him to eat it instead of a meal. Already he doesn't eat healthy food. I try my best in the limited food choices. I am at a loss, I feel like I am paying a price for my mistake of giving him a hot fry. Am sure he will wake up at night crying as he has not eaten anything all day. My heart breaks to not give him cheeselings but I if I give him what if he never eats anything else. As it is he eats only 10 foods. His food has always been the most stressful part. His milk had to be at the right temperature or he would refuse the feed as a baby. We had a chart of ounces- number of seconds stuck on the fridge to get his milk at the correct temperature. I remember trying several types of baby food before he accepted his first...sigh...actually his food issues started a week after birth when he refused breast milk, since then it has been a struggle to feed him...will it ever get better I wonder.. Just needed to vent.

by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 2:37 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Ilovemybbgrl
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 2:41 AM
Does he have any sensory disorders?
Simran81
by Bronze Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 3:38 AM


I don't know, he is not yet daigonised. He gets OT once a week, but hasn't helped him with his food.

Quoting Ilovemybbgrl:

Does he have any sensory disorders?



want10more
by Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 3:40 AM

keep giving him only healthy options. he won't starve. tho he'll want you to think he will. when he's hungry enuff, he'll eat the healthy food. it'll take some time, and he's gonna guilt you like crazy, just don't give in.

heathers5500
by Bronze Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 3:43 AM

How old is he? and has he been evaluated by a Speech Therapist that also specializes in Feeding therapy?  if not get him an eval and into Feeding therapy


darbyakeep45
by Darby on Nov. 20, 2013 at 4:52 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree here.  Hugs mama!

Quoting heathers5500:

How old is he? and has he been evaluated by a Speech Therapist that also specializes in Feeding therapy?  if not get him an eval and into Feeding therapy



ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Nov. 20, 2013 at 12:52 PM
3 moms liked this


I disagree ..... he will starve himself. I know, I starved myself as a child ..... I was in the hospital several times for malnourishment and dehydration because I would refuse foods for days and then refuse to even drink anything. I had food allergies nobody knew about because I didn't break out but they caused me severe stomach pain and the pain of hunger was more bearable than the pain the food caused.

Now I know that is different than what your son is experiencing but still, kids will refuse to the point of starvation. He probably needs feeding therapy ..... I'm sorry the hot fry made him afraid of food, my daughter did that once, thankfully switching what the fries looked like (we went from standard fries to the shoestrings) made her accept them again.  I would give him the snack he wants ..... not all day long, but enough of them to keep him from waking up at night in pain from hunger .... that pain and the lack of sleep will just make him want to fight more because he'll have less control over his emotions. When you're tired and hungry you don't think straight right? He needs comfort in food right now and that's his snack .... once the comfort is there, maybe it'll make him comfortable enough to try the other foods again.

Quoting want10more:

keep giving him only healthy options. he won't starve. tho he'll want you to think he will. when he's hungry enuff, he'll eat the healthy food. it'll take some time, and he's gonna guilt you like crazy, just don't give in.



HippoCat
by Hadley on Nov. 20, 2013 at 1:24 PM
2 moms liked this

I am reading the book "Just take a bite" right now and it is AWESOME!! I've seen it recommended on here before, but am finally getting a chance to read it. It helps you understand why your child might not be eating well and gives you ideas that might get them to try more stuff. I haven't tried any yet, but am hoping the book will help us. If nothing else it is just giving me a better understanding if my son. I have been learning (over time) that he is one sensory loaded kid. I didn't realize that sensory stuff, other than texture, can play a role in eating too.

Simran81
by Bronze Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 7:51 PM

He will turn 3 in Jan. I spoke to his OT therapist. She said she can do more feeding stuff but problem is there are 2 other kids and lot of toys in the OT room. That is a lot of distraction for my son. He gets speech therapy separately. Does insurance cover "feeding therapy"? Do you need a prescription from the doctor?


Quoting heathers5500:

How old is he? and has he been evaluated by a Speech Therapist that also specializes in Feeding therapy?  if not get him an eval and into Feeding therapy




lucasmadre
by Kari on Nov. 20, 2013 at 7:53 PM

First don't blame yourself for anything. This is part of what so many of us go through. I am hoping they out grow it, my son ate everything, then nothing, now he is getting better again. I don't know. My mom says I ate nothing but grilled cheeses for a year but now I will try anything and have no food hang ups at all. Maybe if he gets hungry enough he will eat again? It helps when my son is involved in the making of his food. Maybe you guys could make something together he used to like??? Sorry, please don't blame yourself. xo

Simran81
by Bronze Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 7:58 PM

I agree with you, I gave him his comfort foods today. Then he ate a lot of the snack, he was so hungry.We showed him fries again and he was terrified. He managed to have a few fries with lot of distractions. Hopefully he will get over his fear. He has an excellent memory and that makes things difficult. Please can you tell me a little more about feeding therapy. How do I get a referral, does insurance cover it, how it is different from what our occupational therapist is doing (she makes him touch different textures, play with food, etc).

Quoting ineedcoffeemom:



I disagree ..... he will starve himself. I know, I starved myself as a child ..... I was in the hospital several times for malnourishment and dehydration because I would refuse foods for days and then refuse to even drink anything. I had food allergies nobody knew about because I didn't break out but they caused me severe stomach pain and the pain of hunger was more bearable than the pain the food caused.

Now I know that is different than what your son is experiencing but still, kids will refuse to the point of starvation. He probably needs feeding therapy ..... I'm sorry the hot fry made him afraid of food, my daughter did that once, thankfully switching what the fries looked like (we went from standard fries to the shoestrings) made her accept them again.  I would give him the snack he wants ..... not all day long, but enough of them to keep him from waking up at night in pain from hunger .... that pain and the lack of sleep will just make him want to fight more because he'll have less control over his emotions. When you're tired and hungry you don't think straight right? He needs comfort in food right now and that's his snack .... once the comfort is there, maybe it'll make him comfortable enough to try the other foods again.

Quoting want10more:

keep giving him only healthy options. he won't starve. tho he'll want you to think he will. when he's hungry enuff, he'll eat the healthy food. it'll take some time, and he's gonna guilt you like crazy, just don't give in.





Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN