Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Frustrated with school!

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2013 at 4:54 PM
  • 31 Replies
1 mom liked this

I just got off the phone with the director to the private preschool.

I picked Nicolas up from school and he had chocolate pudding all over his face. You can tell he is not happy. So before I can say anything, she starts telling me how the pudding is messy and he does better with chips. I tell her that I send what I have. Then she tells me that they have to wipe his self and she can't do it. I then ask her if she could have given him a wet cloth or something? She then just tells me that he had a really bad day and had several tantrums.

I was beyond myself at this point. I go to put Nick in the truck and he has a meltdown saying he is messy boy! I ask him who said he is messy, and he tells me his teacher. He won't get in the truck!!! I have to pick him up telling that I will wipe his face when we get home. (I just took the wipes out of the truck because of the cold) he is crying and upset.

I truly feel like Nicolas is being ignored and mistreated in the class. When he walks in, the teachers don't speak to him. He tries to communicate with them but they either ignore him or give a "ya" answer. Last week he was so excited that I got him a new coat with his bday money. He went in saying new coat! They didn't acknowledge him. Then today another child got a new coat and they made a big deal out of it! Nick again turned around and tried to show off his coat but no response. It kills me to think that this is how he will be treated for being different!

Plus the teacher hasn't done anything that we agreed on. She was supposed to make a big schedule for the whole class. So Nicolas can see what will be next. She hasn't!

Thanks for letting me rant! The director said she is going to talk to the teacher tomorrow. I told her that something has to be done!

 

by on Dec. 3, 2013 at 4:54 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Dec. 3, 2013 at 5:06 PM

I would consider having him put in another class and if there isn't, pulling him from that school. Sounds incredibly frustrating and would be a horrible headache but your son is not being treated right and that's just not fair to him. I hope you and the director can get through to the teacher but with what you've said before ..... I'm hoping and praying for you she does change, you just have to look at other options if it comes to that.

My daughter doesn't start preschool until next fall and I'm already nervous about it, praying I find a place where people are accepting of her and really try with her. Good luck mom and hugs. It must feel awful seeing your sweet boy being treated unfairly.

Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Dec. 3, 2013 at 5:28 PM
I wish they had another afternoon class. My next step will be to ask for him to switch from the afternoon to morning. And if I do that then he will only be able to go once a week instead of 2.

There aren't many options where I live that is reasonable. I will be telling infants and toddlers to never recommend them to another one of their families. It is just too much. I hope that we can get through to her, because the director said as a last resort, I can go in the class. So, if it happens again I will be telling her that I want to go in the class to give my son what he needs.

I was in tears on my way home. I couldn't believe that my baby boy is being treated like this from a TEACHER!


Quoting ineedcoffeemom:

I would consider having him put in another class and if there isn't, pulling him from that school. Sounds incredibly frustrating and would be a horrible headache but your son is not being treated right and that's just not fair to him. I hope you and the director can get through to the teacher but with what you've said before ..... I'm hoping and praying for you she does change, you just have to look at other options if it comes to that.

My daughter doesn't start preschool until next fall and I'm already nervous about it, praying I find a place where people are accepting of her and really try with her. Good luck mom and hugs. It must feel awful seeing your sweet boy being treated unfairly.

dawncs
by Dawn on Dec. 3, 2013 at 6:06 PM

I hate to say it, but it could be the wrong classroom placement for Nick. It is probably better for him to be in the morning classroom with the sounds of the teachers on comments and actions. They could do a lot more damage to him in regards to how he feels about himself and schooling if he remained in his current classroom placement. In addition, the teachers do not sound like they are trained or prepared to work with children on the spectrum. Their indifference to him could create problems for him socializing with the other kids or becoming an outcast which could worsen his social anxiities.

Dawn
Cookbook Writer and Internet Resource Research Writer
Check out my books at: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/dawnlucan

HippoCat
by Hadley on Dec. 3, 2013 at 6:18 PM

I am so sorry. That sounds terrible. I would be really upset too. It's really hard finding a new place for your child when options and money are limited. Do you know anyone around with a child on the spectrum that could recommend someplace?  Women in local support groups have lots of awesome advice and share places that have worked for them. I recently had to change Xander's daycare because he wasn't doing well where he was. He wasn't acting out, but just left to kind of fend for himself even though the teachers loved him. I was worried about the change, but he is really flourishing at the new daycare and we both love it. I never would have changed the daycare if their wasn't a need and now I'm so glad that there was because he s doing much better.

The situation is bad now and sounds like it might need to be changed, but maybe it's a step in the right direction and leading to a better situation for both of you. Hang in there mama, it is hard.

wildchild.com
by Janine on Dec. 3, 2013 at 6:45 PM
Hugs mama...that teacher doesn't sound very good. Ignoring your son that's horrible. I would be BS! Are there any other schools in your area? Or maybe even a different class? Good luck hang in there!
Maxsmommy123
by Jamie on Dec. 3, 2013 at 6:51 PM
1 mom liked this
Ugh that is bs!!! I feel so sad for him! Nothing sounds worse than a child that is trying to communicate being ignored!! I would see about switching.
BDSMI
by on Dec. 3, 2013 at 7:27 PM

Hugs I am so sorry to hear that your little one is being treated unfairly. on behalf of the teacher maybe she just lacks training. I have had a few teachers along the way that just simply do not understand autism (and a few that simply don't care) hopefully you can get him switched.

SamMom912
by Gold Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 7:28 PM

Youve known from the beginning that this teacher was not really on board in helping Nick. She is proving it every day. She doesnt know what to do aout his tantrums, she doesnt understand him, or his disorder,she is frustrated by this behavior she doesnt care to understand. I think youd and Nick would be best served in switching classes to a teacher who would be more receptive to understanding him, working with him and learning about him and how to help him. 

This woman sounds horrible. Im guessing she is old, set in her ways and her beliefs. Im guessing she thinks its behaviorially based and that his behavior is simple OTC kid. Where an EDUCATED person with an open mind would do their best to work with him and you to make it an atmposphere thats welcoming and caring... UNLIKE this class. 

Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Dec. 3, 2013 at 8:31 PM

 I was also starting to think the same thing about his socialization. If he is trying to talk to you, then I would expect for you to acknowledge him. Especially if you are a teacher that knows he is having issues with socialization and that is the main reason he is there!

Quoting dawncs:

I hate to say it, but it could be the wrong classroom placement for Nick. It is probably better for him to be in the morning classroom with the sounds of the teachers on comments and actions. They could do a lot more damage to him in regards to how he feels about himself and schooling if he remained in his current classroom placement. In addition, the teachers do not sound like they are trained or prepared to work with children on the spectrum. Their indifference to him could create problems for him socializing with the other kids or becoming an outcast which could worsen his social anxiities.

 

Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Dec. 3, 2013 at 8:38 PM
Thank you. And I am glad to hear that the change for Xander worked for the best. I think it is almost as hard for me to deal with the change as it is for Nicolas. :) This is one of the hardest things that I have had to do. I have to make sure he is being taken care of, so I am going to see what the director can accomplish. Then if she hasn't gotten an attitude change, and realized what Nicolas needs, then I am going to have to figure something else out. I just don't know where we will be able to go. We got the recommendation to go there from Infants and toddlers. So, I called the woman I still have contact with and told her to never recommend another family there.
Quoting HippoCat:

I am so sorry. That sounds terrible. I would be really upset too. It's really hard finding a new place for your child when options and money are limited. Do you know anyone around with a child on the spectrum that could recommend someplace?  Women in local support groups have lots of awesome advice and share places that have worked for them. I recently had to change Xander's daycare because he wasn't doing well where he was. He wasn't acting out, but just left to kind of fend for himself even though the teachers loved him. I was worried about the change, but he is really flourishing at the new daycare and we both love it. I never would have changed the daycare if their wasn't a need and now I'm so glad that there was because he s doing much better.

The situation is bad now and sounds like it might need to be changed, but maybe it's a step in the right direction and leading to a better situation for both of you. Hang in there mama, it is hard.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)