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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Doing the right thing, isn't always easy.

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2013 at 5:53 PM
  • 6 Replies

On the 15th of Nov. we had our dd, 11 years old, taken to the hospital for evaluation. She was aggressive here at home...once again towards me. That night she was transported to a youth center, since then we requested residential treatment for her. We got granted the request, but she has refused to go to the youth center that was approved, asking to stay where she is at. She says she feels safe, comfortable and like she finally fits in. So she's been there till we could figure out what to do, as the place she is at does not have an ASD program and their school/day treatment program is usually for high school kids.

Well they are working on making it so she can stay there, we are still waiting. She's been approved for 30 days to be reviewed to decide if she stays longer or comes home. It's starting to sink in that she is staying and it's starting to take its toll on her emotionally. She's depressed, missing home and what not.

As for me...I feel like I have a hole in my heart, like my home is empty, even though I have my hubby, my friend and my 3 year old here. It's not the same with out her. I miss her terribly and I want her home. I'm for sure depressed and I plan to see someone about this once our insurance kicks in.

We saw her for Thanksgiving, but had to go on campus to see her. When it was time to leave, she grabbed a hold of me and wouldn't let go. They had to pull her off of me and I had to walk away from her screaming for me.

This is the third time she has been in a facility and I feel much more distant from her this time then before. I don't call her every night like I did the last two times, every time I talk to her I break down, and or she is begging me to come get her. I want to hold her in my arms here at home, but I can't right now.


I've been thankful for my MOPs group, few people know what's going on and they are praying for us. Today two of them bought me a picture package. We had Antiquties done in MOPs this year and I won a sitting for free, so I took my kids. Thinking I was going to buy the cd for the little money I had, I went to look at them. I found out that wasn't going to happen. I had to buy a package. Two of the moms pitched in and with my little bit of money I had, we were able to get all the pics and the cd.

I'm blessed in that regard...so blessed to have them right now. But it doesn't make it any less easier and I so depressed that I'm not sleeping at night and all I want to do during the day is sleep.


I know this is the right thing right now, but doing the right thing isn't easy, especially now.

by on Dec. 3, 2013 at 5:53 PM
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Replies (1-6):
Maxsmommy123
by Jamie on Dec. 3, 2013 at 6:46 PM
Dang. I am sorry to hear that. Hopefully someone on here can relate. I would be depressed too!! I'm sure it's for the best but that doesn't make it easy :(
wildchild.com
by Janine on Dec. 3, 2013 at 6:51 PM
Oh honey my heart broke reading this (((hugs))) I'm so sorry. You & your family are in my thoughts & prayers (((hugs)))
BDSMI
by on Dec. 3, 2013 at 7:31 PM

Hugs we have actually thought about doing this for my son.  It is still an option on the table but I am having a hard time accepting it.  tonight he sits at the table because I am afraid he will hurt someone.  He has a hard time controlling his emotions.

Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 9:03 PM

Hugs, Mama.  I'm so sorry.  I have an almost 11 year old, and I can't imagine not having him here in the house.  

Anoronlight
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 11:02 AM

I swore I would never do this, but she to strong for me to restrain anymore. I get brusies and scratches all over my body when she redlines. Then there was the stupid cop that came by twice that night...the second time he asked her if she felt like stabbing anyone with a sharp object.

Ok so my thing is, I know that they have to ask that question, but there were better ways of saying that!! Now I fear she has it in her head somehow. Plus I find out she almost pushed me down the stairs during one of her rages, but that I turned around in time.

She also has mentioned how she wants to hurt herself or kill herself sometimes, but that she doesn't know how to. I have NEVER heard that from my daughter before. She has a mountain of disabilities and I know her world is already frightening to her, but this isn't helping. I've been told if I stick it out long enough that it will get better, but sometimes I don't feel like that.

This was for sure not an easy decision to make and I get TONS of flack from my mom about this. She thinks the answer is sending my daughter to her and letting HER difuse the situation, what she doesn't understand is I don't want to difuse it, I want it fixed as much as it can be.

Quoting BDSMI:

Hugs we have actually thought about doing this for my son.  It is still an option on the table but I am having a hard time accepting it.  tonight he sits at the table because I am afraid he will hurt someone.  He has a hard time controlling his emotions.


Jenibob
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 11:27 AM

So sorry your family is going through this.  You're right, it isnt easy for anyone.  When it comes to safety there can be no waffling.  I know things in life sometimes get worse before it gets better.  What services are they providing for your child?  I would hope one of the goals would be to stabilize her behavior to reduce the safety risk and introduce strategies they use as well as involve family so everyone can develop and use the same skill sets.  Hang in there and praying for you all.

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