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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Hubby a disbeliever

Posted by on Dec. 10, 2013 at 8:35 AM
  • 41 Replies
Can I ask? Do any or your significant others deny that there is anything wrong with. Your kiddos? Well John denies. He hasn't went to any appts. He didn't attend the diagnose. He doesn't plan on going to any of the behavior sessions or any other therapies. There is nothing but chaos
In the house and we fight over me wanting for him to be more involved and to try to see things in the light that everyone else sees I'm seeing it as lost cause
by on Dec. 10, 2013 at 8:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SamMom912
by Gold Member on Dec. 10, 2013 at 9:05 AM

Im sorry. 

I dont know hild old Zane is, i dont remember, my hubby didnt really acknowlege it until elementary school when sam had a lot of difficulty. It was like the school district was the "authority" figure he needed to step in. His wonderful, well educated wife telling him something was up.. And his wonderful wife dragging his son to neurologist, ped psych and early intervention, wasnt enough.. Lol... 

2 years ago when sam was 5, I read a fantastic book to really help me with Sam. last night (after a loooong snow day with my son i went to bed at 9. Lol) well this AM i found my book open, and bent down at page 50... So hubby read it! Lol... 

I think it is super hard for some men to embrace that there is something wrong with their sons. They arent able to just fix it.. They need a little more time, understanding. I think a lotof men have trouble grieving the child- the boy- they were going to have,, (narcisstic I know but we all have that vision of what our kids were going to be) and just have more trouble then the full time care taker (you) cause its in your face every day... 

HUG

mypbandj
by Jen on Dec. 10, 2013 at 9:06 AM
1 mom liked this
Oh yes. My husband will say they kids are just "fine." He hates labels and Dx. He thinks that as long as it isn't something like cancer that is life threatening, they are "fine."

I think he is on the spectrum too.
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auntkissy
by Karissa on Dec. 10, 2013 at 9:32 AM
Sean refuses to see anything's wrong with Hunter. I completely know how you feel. He is finally going to meet Hunter's therapist today. I hope when we actually have a doctor to diagnose him that Sean will finally acknowledge that there's something wrong.
CrimsonAngel614
by on Dec. 10, 2013 at 9:52 AM

My SO agrees with me, but my ex does not. He thinks that because he has been around kids with autism (not spectrum) that my son does not act like them. I tied to explain that there is such a thing as spectrum autism and each kid that has it is different, but to no avail.

Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Dec. 10, 2013 at 11:01 AM
My DH is just starting to come to terms. That is when he is realizing he is doing some stims and went on and in about it. He was worried. I explained to him what he was doing. This was after he was home with him for a week on vacation.

I think it takes time. Everyone in the family has to deal with it in their own time.
Rhapsitee
by Member on Dec. 10, 2013 at 11:44 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm going through the same with DH and, quite frankly, it's exhausting. I feel like half the battle is with him. Despite 4 diff evals from various people all saying the same thing, with 1 being from the developmental pediatrician, he still says nothing is wrong. He'll go with me to appts to pacify me but not participate in any of the therapy. I work full time and DH stays at home with DS. DS is 3 with severe ASD and developmentally behind 2 - 2.5 yrs. DH says I should enjoy DS at this age while I can and that I'm going to miss the baby babble and him needing me. My response has been, you're right but not at the hindrance of DS development. One of DS therapists who comes to the house twice a week when I'm home has commented that DS would be further along than what he is if DH participated. All I can say is I know and that I'm trying. I'm at a loss myself and am waiting for DH to get on board.
Anoronlight
by Bronze Member on Dec. 10, 2013 at 11:50 AM
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My hubby was the same way. He refused to see anything wrong and while he still has this thoughts on it, he totally see is now and understands. That was after TWO resprite care placements and mutliple hospital visits. Now our dd is in residential and it's killing both of us.

He needs to be on board, but guys, I learned, go through this period of not wanting to believe it because they think it has to do with them. Its a pride thing, an ego thing for them. If something is wrong with their kid, something is wrong with them or they did something. Be patient with him, work with him and let him voice his feelings, but explain to him that while you hear what he has to say, that there is something wrong.

My hubby even told me that I was right all those years ago when I said something was wrong because he didn't want to believe that there was.

But here's the thing...he really REALLY needs to get on board...one of you can't do the work, while the other is doing the total opposite, it will defeat the purpose of everything that you are trying to do.

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Dec. 10, 2013 at 4:08 PM

Hugs mama.  My husband took almost a year to really grasp that Brady had Autism.  Give him some time. 

Maxsmommy123
by Jamie on Dec. 10, 2013 at 4:45 PM
1 mom liked this
Good luck.. I kinda wear the pants I guess you could say, and my husband ((I guess I can call him that now we got married yesterday..ceremony is in 5 weeks in Jamaica)) well, he just kinda goes with the flow. He got on board right away. Some of his family didn't but they are coming around.
JennaPBug
by Bronze Member on Dec. 10, 2013 at 8:44 PM

I've given up on my dh too. He's attended several therapies and agrees Abel is delayed in areas but never wants to use the A word. Even now, while we're trying to fix his leaky gut problem, he refuses to say its connected to Autism

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