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What's the worst thing someone has ever said to you about your special needs child?

Posted by on Dec. 15, 2013 at 7:59 AM
  • 84 Replies

This is kind of a spin off of my other post about how you react to the public in regards to your special needs child.

What is the all time worst thing someone has ever said to you about your SN child...whether it's a stranger or someone you know?

by on Dec. 15, 2013 at 7:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mypbandj
by Jen on Dec. 15, 2013 at 9:56 AM
I have three.

This is about my oldest. He is 16 and as a little kid, he was WILD & CRAZY! He was off the wall ADHD, so he didn't pay attention. He was sensory seeking so it was extreme. And he had no clue how his actions affected others and he couldn't read social cues. So he was just this little tornado that did what ever felt good to him and gave him a good time. And it was very exhausting.

I was finally getting to take him to the neuropsychologist and was finally realizing it was partially ASD. I was on the phone with a friend and telling her where we were going and why. And you all know, like most people, they are going to tell you that your kid is fine and how could it be autism and yada yada yada. And she said to me, maybe he just acts that way because you say he is "wild and crazy." You know, he's just acting out the way he think you want him to be

I was stunned. I might have said he was wild and crazy to friends, but it was more tongue in cheek. I didn't say it to him. Ok, I might have said to him several times: stop acting crazy. But I never went around and told him stuff like: you're just a crazy kid.

#2
When dh told me, "you just need to spend more time with him." This was in regards to how there was nothing wrong with him, it was just that I was doing something wrong.

#3
After I had brought my kids with me to work one summer my boss said "When you told me about your son at first I didn't think I'd like him at all but I actually do like him!"

Gee thanks.
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-BeautifulRose-
by on Dec. 15, 2013 at 11:10 AM
I've never had anyone out in public say anything negative to me. I have had people ask me if I need any help :)

The negative comments come from my FIL, who is no longer in our lives. FIL said that DH created an embarassment (speaking of our son) and would never have any more kids (because of it). DH has never had a good relationship with his father, but that was the last straw. SIL told us what happened and BIL confirmed it because he was on the phone with them when it was said. They are overseas right now and I'm glad that they are because DH just about lost his mind when he heard that.

DH and most of his siblings have already broken ties with their parents. The younger ones still depend on him financially.
AspieAuntie
by Risa on Dec. 15, 2013 at 11:28 AM

I once took Bugga to a boat show where the public could pay a fee to walk on these boats when they were docked. They were pretty cool boats too, not normal ones. They had tall masts and everything. Anyway, Bugga was really excited and he started running around the boat which was against the rules. I tried to get him to slow down and listen to me but it was hard for him. He was overstimulated. Well the owner of the boat got angry and she said, to Bugga not to me (something that I will never forgive), "Kids like you are the reason we have to have dock security here." I was beyond angry. Bugga was really upset. He didn't want to look at any other boats, he just wanted to go home. I just wanted to punch the woman!

Anoronlight
by Member on Dec. 15, 2013 at 11:40 AM

A person who WAS family (my hubby's step brother, no longer because his step brother's mom and my hubby's dad got divroced) told us our child was "not fit for society", he said that to our face. Yeah...pissed me off.

patnic
by Bronze Member on Dec. 15, 2013 at 12:30 PM

Not exactly said about my child but, irked me beyond belief...

This mom found out that my son was on the spectrum.  She included me in her mass email selling her special pyramid juice scheme and that it was good for autism.  I then asked all my friends that knew her and one of them accidently told her.  She was very sneaky and acted like she knew.


JTMOM422
by Brenda on Dec. 15, 2013 at 5:14 PM

We were once walking in the mall and there was a guy selling toys at a kiosk. He stood there and showed my son how to splat this toy on the ground. Well my son wanted to see it again and reach and grabbed the guys shirt. The guy pulled back and said "Whoa you don't have to touch me" I explained my son wanted to see the toy again and he said "well he can just ask" I was about to tell him my son has ASD then I decided never mind. This guy was just rude and didn't deserve an explanation. When we walked by the kiosk later the lady asked if we were interested in buying anything. I said not from them I wasn't and kept going.

03071012
by Bronze Member on Dec. 15, 2013 at 6:38 PM
When my daughter was 5 months old we had to travel from our overseas base to Hawaii for medical care for her. She had started having seizures when she was 4 months and we noticed her eyes crossed and that she had little vision past midline to the right in her right eye and that she could not track to the right with her right eye at 3 months old. She had just been started on phenobarbital to stop the seizures. I called my grandma to ask for prayers for our flight and that my dd's passport would show up. My grandma said to me "if you give that baby phenobarbital you are gonna make her retarded. My neighbor's daughter took that for years and killed herself as a teen because she was retarded." Then she accused every member of my family of doing something to my dd to make her eyes cross and suddenly start having seizures because perfectly healthy babies don't suddenly have these problems. I talked to my grandma for the first time last year since 2010. My grandma does not know my dd has autism, unless other family members told her. And I refuse to talk to her about it.

After we got home from that first trip to Hawaii, we went to my dh's squadron picnic. My dd had been wearing glasses for about 3 days and we were still getting used to the idea of our beautiful 5 month having to wear glasses and an eye patch. One of the wives looked at my dd, then said loudly to a person sitting next to her "why would you put glasses on babies? They don't need to see anything anyway." When I put glasses on my dd her world changed. She started reaching for things and crawling. It was amazing. We have had so many ignorant comments about having an infant in glasses it isn't even funny.
Rhapsitee
by Member on Dec. 16, 2013 at 8:24 AM
DH has 2 children from a prior marriage and said jokingly to me once, "DS must be the way he is because if you. My 2 other children are normal." I told him I didn't find that funny and it really hurt because I was struggling enough with everything as it was. He said he was just joking because nothing was wrong with DS and only said that b/c I kept pushing for an eval.
Rhapsitee
by Member on Dec. 16, 2013 at 8:30 AM
DH has said your #2 to me too. He also includes the only good thing that has come from the DIR therapy we've been doing is it's taught ME how to play with our son.

Quoting mypbandj: I have three.



This is about my oldest. He is 16 and as a little kid, he was WILD & CRAZY! He was off the wall ADHD, so he didn't pay attention. He was sensory seeking so it was extreme. And he had no clue how his actions affected others and he couldn't read social cues. So he was just this little tornado that did what ever felt good to him and gave him a good time. And it was very exhausting.



I was finally getting to take him to the neuropsychologist and was finally realizing it was partially ASD. I was on the phone with a friend and telling her where we were going and why. And you all know, like most people, they are going to tell you that your kid is fine and how could it be autism and yada yada yada. And she said to me, maybe he just acts that way because you say he is "wild and crazy." You know, he's just acting out the way he think you want him to be



I was stunned. I might have said he was wild and crazy to friends, but it was more tongue in cheek. I didn't say it to him. Ok, I might have said to him several times: stop acting crazy. But I never went around and told him stuff like: you're just a crazy kid.



#2

When dh told me, "you just need to spend more time with him." This was in regards to how there was nothing wrong with him, it was just that I was doing something wrong.



#3

After I had brought my kids with me to work one summer my boss said "When you told me about your son at first I didn't think I'd like him at all but I actually do like him!"



Gee thanks.

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Dec. 16, 2013 at 2:48 PM

Wow Jen!  You have some doozies!

Quoting mypbandj: I have three.

This is about my oldest. He is 16 and as a little kid, he was WILD & CRAZY! He was off the wall ADHD, so he didn't pay attention. He was sensory seeking so it was extreme. And he had no clue how his actions affected others and he couldn't read social cues. So he was just this little tornado that did what ever felt good to him and gave him a good time. And it was very exhausting.

I was finally getting to take him to the neuropsychologist and was finally realizing it was partially ASD. I was on the phone with a friend and telling her where we were going and why. And you all know, like most people, they are going to tell you that your kid is fine and how could it be autism and yada yada yada. And she said to me, maybe he just acts that way because you say he is "wild and crazy." You know, he's just acting out the way he think you want him to be

I was stunned. I might have said he was wild and crazy to friends, but it was more tongue in cheek. I didn't say it to him. Ok, I might have said to him several times: stop acting crazy. But I never went around and told him stuff like: you're just a crazy kid.

#2
When dh told me, "you just need to spend more time with him." This was in regards to how there was nothing wrong with him, it was just that I was doing something wrong.

#3
After I had brought my kids with me to work one summer my boss said "When you told me about your son at first I didn't think I'd like him at all but I actually do like him!"

Gee thanks.


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