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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Every time he sees her he screams and runs away

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 9:31 AM
  • 18 Replies

For the last few weeks when my mom comes over my son screams and runs in the other room. This is not typical behavior for him. He LOVES my mom. Always has to hold her hand when we walk into stores, sits by her in resteraunts, cries if she moves 5 feet in front of him. She can not leave his sight or he will cry "meme, meme". It has really upset my mom .I told her not to take it personal. We have no idea why he is acting like that?

by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 9:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
EthansMomma2010
by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 9:42 AM
No idea. I hope you can figure it out. That is sad. :(
jowen905
by Jan on Dec. 18, 2013 at 12:17 PM

Oh, your poor mom!   Does he eventually seek her out or does he stay away completely?  Did she get a new haircut or anything?  Maybe once when she came over he fell and got hurt, or he had the flu or something odd happened that maybe he now associates her with that event and something negative happening that's not even related to her?  I just don't know, I hope he "phases out" of that soon!

ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Dec. 18, 2013 at 12:29 PM

My daughter didn't scream and run away but she's done the same thing in that she used to go to my mom, loved my mom so much she actually did better with her sometimes, and the last time my mom came to visit my daughter refused to hug her the whole time she was here. She stayed in the same room, but wouldn't really ever interact with my mom.

In her case, I think it was my mom coming here vs us going to her house. When any relatives come to visit my daughter becomes hyper alert about where I am because other people coming over means I could be leaving her with them. But if we go to my mom's house, she's like, yea! Grandma's house! and doesn't even care if I disappear.

Sorry if this didn't help any. :(    I just understand ...... thankfully my mom's got really thick skin so she didn't take it too hard.

Charizma77
by Carissa on Dec. 18, 2013 at 12:38 PM

Maybe separation anxiety. Does he think you're  going to leave and grandma is there to watch him, maybe it's more separation anxiety than it is her. Just a thought..

emarin77
by Silver Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 12:55 PM

Somethings bothering him. It could be anything.  Once he uses his form of comunication he will let you know.  For now, your mom should stay a little back from him.  Give him his space right now.

SamMom912
by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 2:28 PM
1 mom liked this

Im wondering if it is this simple trigger of a change... When your mom comes, things change.. The dynamic changes..you focus on her, not him, do you leave sometimes (cause that too may add to the negativity around the experience) do you give him warnings when she is coming over? Just so he can prepare for the change? Even if change is good, sometimes our kids just have trouble changing gears.. THIS is a gear changer. Lol

im wondering if the knowing in advance and if you can out a positive spin on it, maybe have it be a game of hide and seek, when grandma is coming, he needs to hide,,, and she finds him and it becomes positive... Or even just jumping up from a hiding place with a BOO! I think if your mom can be patient and you can figure out how tomease the transition, it may become positive again. 

CarrieGemenon19
by Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 2:35 PM

Thats what I am wondering as well. Has she ever taken him out, without you?

But, don't worry if you do need to leave him with your mom for a bit......P is not a happy camper when his father and I pick him up every Friday from his mothers house for the weekend, but after a few minutes- he is just fine. Personally I think it's more about the car ride, than anything.

Quoting Charizma77:

Maybe separation anxiety. Does he think you're  going to leave and grandma is there to watch him, maybe it's more separation anxiety than it is her. Just a thought..


lancet98
by Bronze Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 2:53 PM

How old is he?

JTMOM422
by Brenda on Dec. 18, 2013 at 4:38 PM

It could possibly be that his routine is changed when she comes over. Our kiddos thrive on routine. Some more than others. If something throws a routine out of whack things tend to happen. For my son it's a meltdown or stimming

princess_1983
by Bronze Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 9:07 PM

He is 6.

Quoting lancet98:

How old is he?


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