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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Update on explaining Nicolas chewing. Grrr.

Posted by on Dec. 20, 2013 at 7:57 AM
  • 15 Replies
Well, I went to Nick Christmas party at the private preschool yesterday. He came out with this bell necklace they made in his mouth. For some reason I brought his chewy tube. So, he was on the teachers lap. I went up to him and gently took the necklace out of his mouth and asked him if he needed the chewy tube. He smiled and took it. He was on the teachers lap at the time. Then went over and sat with the other kids while chewing. Lol. The teacher asked if he could bring that to school. I said yes, if he is putting stuff in his mouth. She said he does.

So, I was explaining what happened and that I knew if the teacher saw first hand that it helps that she would allow it with no arguing. But if I would have just said that he was bringing it, that it would have been some disapproval by the teacher. Well, my mom automatically said she doesn't like it. And then asks what happens when he is in 2nd grade and gets teased. I then told her about the thing you can put on a pencil and explained that it is a sensory thing. She still doesn't like it.

Then my husband heard me talking and asked about the chewy tube at school. I told him too and he said that nick doesn't need it and he don't want him to take it! I explained everything all over again. His end was that is his opinion and he is allowed to have one. Well, my end comment was, that there is some data that he can show me that supports his opinion, then it doesn't matter because I'm going to send it to school with him to help him relax. Grrrr I'm tired of this argument.
by on Dec. 20, 2013 at 7:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SamMom912
by Gold Member on Dec. 20, 2013 at 8:14 AM

Im sorry. So frustrating.. Here you are trying to help him focus, expend energy, and chew... And no one gets it. Im guessing if he is doing it now, perhaps he may outgrow it by 2nd grade, if NOT, first, lets realize IF it helps him, then it helps him.. And kids are taught to be way more tolerant then they use to be. My guess is there may be other kids in his class that need, chewie tubes (btw, it WILL become gum by 7 and YES, it is encouraged in my sons class) and he may need stretchy bands, he may need breaks, he may need fidgits... Whats wrong with getting what you need to succeed? 

I think your dealing with two people who love him and have his best interests in mind, with strong opinions about how he should be raised... but I also think they are uneducated in SPD, and those 2 things together, are hard for YOU who is getting an SPD education. 

Perhaps If you have your hubby read your son "arnie and his school tools" or some other sensory book for kids, he may have a better understanding, I also think maybe visiting amazon and searching for sensory books for kids.. (Explaining SPD) for kids.. To have THEM read to your son, will enlighten them and HIM - but on the DL... Lol.. Your hubby and mom wont even KNOW they are learning... Lol

Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Dec. 20, 2013 at 8:21 AM
Lol. I like the idea about the kids book.

I am going to put a phone call in to his special Ed teacher to talk to her about it. Right now, she has been my best resource. (Other than you guys!) to see if she has been seeing the same behaviors and what she thinks about me giving him chewy tube. If anything she will agree and it will be another person to tell DH that they agree. :)


Quoting SamMom912:

Im sorry. So frustrating.. Here you are trying to help him focus, expend energy, and chew... And no one gets it. Im guessing if he is doing it now, perhaps he may outgrow it by 2nd grade, if NOT, first, lets realize IF it helps him, then it helps him.. And kids are taught to be way more tolerant then they use to be. My guess is there may be other kids in his class that need, chewie tubes (btw, it WILL become gum by 7 and YES, it is encouraged in my sons class) and he may need stretchy bands, he may need breaks, he may need fidgits... Whats wrong with getting what you need to succeed? 

I think your dealing with two people who love him and have his best interests in mind, with strong opinions about how he should be raised... but I also think they are uneducated in SPD, and those 2 things together, are hard for YOU who is getting an SPD education. 

Perhaps If you have your hubby read your son "arnie and his school tools" or some other sensory book for kids, he may have a better understanding, I also think maybe visiting amazon and searching for sensory books for kids.. (Explaining SPD) for kids.. To have THEM read to your son, will enlighten them and HIM - but on the DL... Lol.. Your hubby and mom wont even KNOW they are learning... Lol

Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Dec. 20, 2013 at 11:11 AM
I did call the special Ed teacher. She said that she hasn't seen him putting stuff in his mouth. But that if he is doing it, then it would be ok to send to private preschool. BUT that she doesn't want him carrying it around with him all day. She only wants it given to him when needed then taken away. She also said to send it there in his book bag, and if they see the behavior then they already have it.
SamMom912
by Gold Member on Dec. 20, 2013 at 12:01 PM

Makes sence... Theyk dont want other kids pciking it up and sharing germs... :) 

Quoting Nickmom1118: I did call the special Ed teacher. She said that she hasn't seen him putting stuff in his mouth. But that if he is doing it, then it would be ok to send to private preschool. BUT that she doesn't want him carrying it around with him all day. She only wants it given to him when needed then taken away. She also said to send it there in his book bag, and if they see the behavior then they already have it.


Mi_Chelly
by Bronze Member on Dec. 20, 2013 at 12:13 PM

For the family members, I would first ask them if they do/have anything that helps them calm their nerves or just to focus? When they start going into what they do, ask them to live without doing any of it for an hour, a day. Then explain that is what they are forcing upon your son all the time.

For at school, I would send a chew tube to keep either in his desk or teacher's desk at all times. That way, you don't have to worry about it getting lost or forgotten. It is at school for those times when it is needed.

karene999
by Karen on Dec. 20, 2013 at 1:56 PM

Ok take a deep breath. You are doing the right thing. You are following the recommendations of the therapist. Nicky's chewing is obviously an issue at school or the teacher would not have asked you to send it to school.

My suggestion is to set up a time for your husband and Mom for her to explain why they suggested using the tube.

My son when he was little would chew on his shirts when he got anxious, the chew tube worked wonders and now he does not need it at all...

You are doing the right thing, you know your child...Trust your instincts

lady-J-Rock
by Bronze Member on Dec. 20, 2013 at 3:48 PM
I like your explanation.

Quoting Mi_Chelly:

For the family members, I would first ask them if they do/have anything that helps them calm their nerves or just to focus? When they start going into what they do, ask them to live without doing any of it for an hour, a day. Then explain that is what they are forcing upon your son all the time.

For at school, I would send a chew tube to keep either in his desk or teacher's desk at all times. That way, you don't have to worry about it getting lost or forgotten. It is at school for those times when it is needed.

wildchild.com
by Janine on Dec. 20, 2013 at 5:00 PM
I hear ya. My son is 8 & still uses chewys. But I've never had anyone object to it.
NatureMomof3
by Member on Dec. 20, 2013 at 6:23 PM

You can get the chew tube necklaces that can be under his shirt and he can us it as needed. We used one for a while because my son was chewing a huge hole in his shirt everyday. As it turns out he had a microbial infection in his gut and it took several rounds antimicrobial drugs to clear it up. Since then, no chewing. 

Is he planning to stay at that school for kindergarten? I would be concerned if they are not receptive to him learning to take care of his sensory needs himself. My son has learned to regulate himself in the classroom by using headphones and wearing a hoodie. The school completely understands and supports him making choices on what he needs and they listen to him (he's 8 and in 2nd grade). If he has a lot of sensory issues, it will make a really big (positive) difference to be in a school in environment that supports him.

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Dec. 20, 2013 at 7:32 PM

Hugs mama....I'm sorry:(  Do what you think is best...I'd let him have it.  My son has his ALL the time!

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