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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

No Clue How to Proceed ***EDIT WITH FINAL UPDATE***

Posted by on Jan. 2, 2014 at 10:13 PM
  • 24 Replies

My son is 14 years old he is ASD, ADHD, OCD, and anixety issues. DS tends to get into everything prys at locked doors, personal items have disappeared, he lies constantly, and when I forget his medication it is like he reverts in age about 10 years.  Here is the issue...I have been dating a guy for 2 years and last spring I moved closer to him (I bought a house).  This past spring he started doling out punishment to my son--he would intentionally set him off and then call the police and show them videos of him out of control, he tricks my son into saying things that are not true.  He is extremely controlling and he makes my son write.  I'm not talking two or three pages but 3 notesbook 180 pages a piece EACH TIME HE MISBEHAVES.  he is required to write 20 to 30 pages LEGIBLY a day.  I have tried to leave this relationship but I am scared of him.  Most of his friends are the local cops who thinks he walks on water.  Tonight was the final straw my son went to bed with NO DINNER.  BF told him since he did not get his writing done he was not allowed to eat and I needed to assign another notebook to him.  My heart breaks as I watch him suffer.  I really have no clue how to proceed...because of this relationship I have no family help he managed to alienate every last one of them.  any advice??? By the way my son sits or stands on the grate in the kitchen from the time he gets up to hte time he goes to bed.  I am not allowed to let him leave the kitchen.

They removed my son from the home tonight.  He is with my parents 45 min away.  The police and CPS will make the decision tomorrow whether he will be allowed back in the home or if he will stay with my parents.  They took the evidence and will turn it over to the courts tomorrow and figure out how to proceed.

ONE FINAL UPDATE--- YESTERDAY THE POLICE ARRESTED HIM--HE SPENT THE NIGHT IN JAIL AND TODAY HE WENT TO COURT AND HE PLED GUILTY TO CHILD ENDANGERING A FELONY IN THE 2ND DEGREE HE HAS TO SERVE 90 DAYS IN JAIL 5 YEARS PROBATION AND 5 YEARS NO CONTACT ORDER THE EVIDENCE IS OVERWHELMING AND HE KNEW HE HAD NO CHANCE SO HE PLED OUT.

by on Jan. 2, 2014 at 10:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Charizma77
by Carissa on Jan. 2, 2014 at 10:34 PM

I got chills reading this and feel absolutely sick for you and your ds.  I can't imagine how hard this is for you. You have got to do what is best for your son, no matter the cost. Is there anyone you trust who could help you out? Hugs and prayers sent your way!

heathers5500
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2014 at 10:40 PM
1 mom liked this

You need to leave!!!

Maxsmommy123
by Jamie on Jan. 2, 2014 at 11:13 PM
What she said!!

Quoting heathers5500:

You need to leave!!!

slsbrina
by Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 12:28 AM
1 mom liked this

You need to leave. This would be considered abuse. I know you feel lost but you have to consider leaving him. It will be hard and you feel like how can I make it. He probably had you not work, made you not to talk to your family and friends. This is his way of making you dependent on him to the point where you feel you can't leave. This is his way of controlling you. This is abuse also.  I am sure if you called your family they would help you out. You have to hold your head up high and get out of there before more happens. 

BDSMI
by on Jan. 3, 2014 at 6:21 AM

 I do work he does not support me financially in any way shape or form.  he gives me NO money unless I ask for it (which I do not).  He does buy food for the house on occassion that it is rare.  he also does not live with us, in fact, he refuses to tell me where he lives.  I have found out quite by accident.  he does not have a key to my house but he does have the garage door opener and a key to the back door off the garage, both for which I have asked back but he refuses to give me. 

Quoting slsbrina:

You need to leave. This would be considered abuse. I know you feel lost but you have to consider leaving him. It will be hard and you feel like how can I make it. He probably had you not work, made you not to talk to your family and friends. This is his way of making you dependent on him to the point where you feel you can't leave. This is his way of controlling you. This is abuse also.  I am sure if you called your family they would help you out. You have to hold your head up high and get out of there before more happens. 

 

LADYxGHOST
by Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 6:48 AM

No Clue? really? he is abusive! Not allowed? You really need to stand up for yourself.  Kick his ass out. He will not stop until he removes your son from your life. the nhe will start in on you, if he already hasn't.  You need to act now. There are domestic violance support groups and hotlines you need to contact to get the help and support you need to do this.

If you choose to do nothing you will be just as guilty for his abuse of your son if not worse.

mustbeGRACE
by Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 7:46 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting BDSMI:

 I do work he does not support me financially in any way shape or form.  he gives me NO money unless I ask for it (which I do not).  He does buy food for the house on occassion that it is rare.  he also does not live with us, in fact, he refuses to tell me where he lives.  I have found out quite by accident.  he does not have a key to my house but he does have the garage door opener and a key to the back door off the garage, both for which I have asked back but he refuses to give me. 

Quoting slsbrina:

You need to leave. This would be considered abuse. I know you feel lost but you have to consider leaving him. It will be hard and you feel like how can I make it. He probably had you not work, made you not to talk to your family and friends. This is his way of making you dependent on him to the point where you feel you can't leave. This is his way of controlling you. This is abuse also.  I am sure if you called your family they would help you out. You have to hold your head up high and get out of there before more happens. 


This person is nothing but trouble.

Your son and / or yourself could end up dead.

Leave today.

Do NOT tell him you are leaving.

DO NOT GO BACK!

Pack your things while he is gone .

Be prepared to leave and not return.

Seek help from a trusted male in your family.

Forget about your job.

In the new town that you go to,  go 1st thing to a  battered women's shelter. (Domestic violence shelter).

Police will know how to contact them.

Leave today.

Be safe.

 

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Jan. 3, 2014 at 8:04 AM

You need to leave this relationship.  I'm sorry you're dealing with this but your son and yourself deserve better!

Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 9:25 AM

Yep, agree here!!!  Can't tell you how, and I'm sorry.  But you just need to get out of there! 

Quoting Maxsmommy123: What she said!!

Quoting heathers5500:

You need to leave!!!

 

JTMOM422
by Brenda on Jan. 3, 2014 at 9:40 AM

This is child abuse. I would get a restraining order against him. You need to get out of this relationship. Move sell your house anything. Just get away. I would not allow anyone to do this to my child. If he is in with the local cops contact the state cops but call someone. I mean is this relationship worth your son being taken away from you for abuse. It's not a good relationship for either of you. Call someone please before things get worse. I would call STATE COPS now

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